[Annabelle789123]

I am in my forties and have never really had to struggle because I have had a very nice life up until my divorce this year. I was very fortunate and grew up with pretty much a great life with my parents and then got married and was stable.

This past year has been the worst for me financially... I just recently filed for bankruptcy because I don't know how to manage my money. I always want things I really can't afford and am basically spoiled with a lifestyle I can't have anymore. I have to learn to live on my paycheck alone.

My boyfriend has been extremely patient with me this past year and basically letting me live there for free. I do help when I can with groceries and such. I keep the house clean, do the laundry, cook etc to kind of "help" make up for not giving him money.
My question is... he has excellent/perfect credit and has always managed his money very well. We were talking last night and I thought maybe I should just hand over my paycheck and my few bills and let him do it... what do you think?

We have been dating a year this coming Sept 8th and I fully trust him...

[Mapleleafpete]

Sounds like a great guy,if he's willing to help go for it.You have nothing to loose :)

[Superfly999]

Instead of giving your paycheck just totally over to him... Why not sit down with him (of course if you both have the time) and go over things with him. See if he can help YOU find a solution or ways to cut back/manage your bills and money. If you just hand it over to him you will have to for the rest of your life. Hypothetically of course, what happens if something happens between you two and he's not there anymore? You were depending on him that whole time and now are lost. I'm sure he would gladly HELP you find a solution; also, if he does you won't have to give him the check/bills and him have to deal with it (after a period when you can do it on your own). Think of it this way, in school you don't want your child just giving his work to another kid to do for him right? That just lets that child learn nothing and just pass until he's at a point where he has to do it alone and will most likely fail. In my opinion, this situation is close to the same.

There's no question, we all need to find help to show us how to do things in certain situations. I think it will benefit you both to (of course it might take time) slowly learn how to manage/cut down yourself. Just like other things, this is to be learned/taught.

[ScottGem]

I would not just turn over your paycheck to him. What I would do is to take some classes on financial management. Get a copy of Quicken or MS Money and RELIGIOUSLY keep track of your spending. Set up a budget within the software and allocate your paycheck for that budget. For example, lets say you budget $25/week for dining out. In one week you spend $15 that means you could spend $40 the next week. Or vice versa, if you spend $40 oine week you can only spend $15 the next.

If you record everything you spend and see how it fits your budget, you will have much greater control over your spending and your independence.

[Superfly999]

Also, (being in the accounting field :P) If you do what Scott said and keep track of all your money coming in and going out you will know exactly how much you spend on X items or whatever you are buying. It will show you what you can possibly cut down on or not buy so much/often of to save you X amount of money per week/month which will do a lot. This is also a bit of what businesses do to see how much money comes in and goes out for a certain expense or activity to lower cost if possible in areas that seem (since they have how much $ goes out for everything do to keeping track of all these money income and expenses) like they need to lower or think they may actual be able to cut back on even just a little to save money every day/week/month.

Just for an example lets say... you buy extra groceries all the time or get a smoothie everyday or one for everyone. If you see that the bulk of your money is going for groceries or like $20 a day for smoothies maybe you could put back an extra bag of chips that you won't use every time you go to the store if you buy certain things all the time (of course if this is something you love don't take the joy out of your day) or on the smoothies if you actually love them and don't want to just get rid of them... try buying maybe the size smaller for everyone; it may save you $5 a day just on that which adds up pretty quick, definiately if you are finding little ways to cut down on things along with this.

[Annabelle789123]

Thanks so much for the input. I do need to learn to budget that is for sure... I will let him help me and give me pointers in the RIGHT direction and do it on my own! That is the only way I will learn

I love this site!! Thanks to everyone who answered me!:)