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tabbarat · Aug 28, 2008, 10:10 AM

I appreciate your answers.. but just to let you know, SHE

tabbarat · Aug 28, 2008, 10:12 AM

liz28: SHE is the one that said I want to move forward with you and SHE told her ex to move on.. I never forced anything... what happened was things with us became serious, and when the pressure from work added on, she turned to him and realized there is smthg there... and of course, she will choose 10yrs over 4 months.. (hopefully it is just a phase)

hjpan · Aug 28, 2008, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by tabbarat

liz28: SHE is the one that said i want to move forward with u and SHE told her ex to move on..i never forced anything...what happened was things with us became serious, and when the pressure from work added on, she turned to him and realized there is smthg there...and of course, she will choose 10yrs over 4 months..(hopefully it is just a phase)

And she's the one who is too blinded by the light to realize "moving on" means stop contacting with him.

Exactly. You need to do what everyone else has suggested:
Get over her and find someone else.

Stop defending such a un-worthy girl.

tabbarat · Aug 28, 2008, 10:16 AM

So I guess the decision from you guys is to not contact her at all... wait for her to contact... and then take it from there, see where we stand... sounds about right... when it hits the 10 day-2 week mark, I'll let you guys know what I decided... thanks

BetrayalBtCamp · Aug 28, 2008, 10:19 AM

She may not be having non-stop contact with him but she did open the door for him again, even if just as a good friend. She wants time to sort things out & you respecting her need for that is the best route for you both.

Sounds like you have a good gameplan in place now.

tabbarat · Aug 28, 2008, 10:28 AM

True dudes.. of course I would have preferred she didn't contact him when she got the warning at work, but she did know him for 10 yrs... I mean I was with a girl for 4 yrs and I still call her sometimes when I need advice... and it seems that "gate" let in some old feelings

And despite how pissed I am.. I did tell her that I appreciate the fact that she told me the truth... I mean other girls would just distance themselves and let you figure it out... must have took some courage

Anyway, we'll see what happens.. its the weekend now almost so got to get ready to party ;)

By the way, just to let you guys know... im 27... been single and playing around and travelling and one night stands for most of my life... my 2 only meaningful and long relationships were 4 yrs and now this one for 4 months... maybe that sheds some light on why I'm still sprung... I don't give up my single life unless its for someone worth it

BetrayalBtCamp · Aug 28, 2008, 10:31 AM

She definitely deserves mega credit for being honest with you, that sort of integrity is the exactly the kind that a great relationship can be built on.

Best wishes to you!

liz28 · Aug 28, 2008, 10:34 AM

For her to even want to get back with him only proves she was never over him. If your not over someone, you can't fully give your all to someone else. You already stated they have a yo-yo relationship, break-up get back together, so this is have they'll always be until they grow up and break this cycle.

tabbarat · Aug 28, 2008, 10:43 AM

Betrayal: Thank you for agreeing she deserves credit and your wishes.. and hopefully with time, we'll see what happens.. whether it be friends or a couple

Liz: thanks for your honesty... I always knew she was not COMPLETELY over him.. I mean I met her 2 months after the marriage proposal... but I took what she told me that shewants to move on as the truth, maybe I was wrong... hopefully she will grow up and realize that she needs to move on or settle... until then, I guess I should go out and enjoy my new single life, make her miss me, and hopefully she'll come back

Now its time to see if what they say is true: if you love smthg set it free, if its meant to be she will come back, if not, screw it (smthg like that) :P

It's one of my ex's friend's birthday on Monday.. I should go if invited yeah?

But while I'm there, just be friendly to my ex, ignore her a bit, and show her I'm having a good time and fine without her? Isn't that the strategy?

talaniman · Aug 29, 2008, 06:49 PM

No, the strategy is be yourself, have a great time, and be polite to all. If you can't do that, don't go. You ARE just fine without her, and have no need to show her anything, except polite acceptance.

hjpan · Aug 29, 2008, 07:55 PM

Originally Posted by tabbarat

it's one of my ex's friend's birthday on monday..i should go if invited yeah?

but while im there, just be friendly to my ex, ignore her a bit, and show her im having a good time and fine without her? isnt that the strategy?

No... don't go~

Your feelings will rise again...

tabbarat · Aug 30, 2008, 11:00 AM

hjpan: thanks man, I see your point, but my feelings are already high...

I went out last night, got a number, most probably going to pursue it; but still not over the ex... every blonde girl I would see, I would look to see if that was her or not ;).. guess these things take time

But I am going to go to the birthday... I mean I am friends with the birthday girl, and of course want to see the ex... im sure if she sees me, her feelings for me will rise as well

But what is smart is to go, be polite to everyone, have a good time, but not show too much attention to my ex.. that will drive her crazy... come on boys, we all know that when you ignore a girl, and show her your OK and confident, it appeals to her more...

hjpan · Aug 30, 2008, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by tabbarat

hjpan: thanks man, i see ur point, but my feelings are already high...

i went out last night, got a number, most probably gonna pursue it; but still not over the ex...every blonde girl i would see, i would look to see if that was her or not ;)..guess these things take time

but i am gonna go to the birthday...i mean i am friends with the bday girl, and of course wanna see the ex...im sure if she sees me, her feelings for me will rise as well

but what is smart is to go, be polite to everyone, have a good time, but not show too much attention to my ex..that will drive her crazy...come on boys, we all know that when u ignore a girl, and show her ur ok and confident, it appeals to her more...

Well, as long as there's no strings attached.

Ithappenstoall · Aug 30, 2008, 11:22 PM

You are going to that party, good for you. But you are going for the wrong reasons. You are thinking about her and how you will act to get a reaction from her. NO!!
You need to think about yourself and pretend that she won't even be there, because I am sure you will be different if she isn't there. Now you will always look over your shoulder to see if you are getting er attention. I also bet you will talk to her and not make it short and simple as I feel your intentions are still in a way to try and get her back.

tabbarat · Aug 31, 2008, 10:50 AM

True, I am going for the wrong reasons, but it is only natural.. I mean the break up was only 10 days ago, and I haven't seen her in like two weeks... these are just the cards I was dealt (bday coming in this time)

But I will definitely try to not talk to her, just be polite and ignore her a bit, and be nice to everyone and have fun.. especially since I still feel that any pressure from me will turn her more and more to her ex

We'll see how things work out

hjpan · Aug 31, 2008, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by tabbarat

true, i am going for the wrong reasons, but it is only natural..i mean the break up was only 10 days ago, and i havent seen her in like two weeks...these are just the cards i was dealt (bday coming in this time)

but i will definitely try to not talk to her, just be polite and ignore her a bit, and be nice to everyone and have fun..especially since i still feel that any pressure from me will turn her more and more to her ex

we'll see how things work out

You know you're going for the WRONG REASONS

DON'T GO WITH STRINGS ATTACHED.

N0help4u · Aug 31, 2008, 12:56 PM

I agree the best thing to do if you go and she is there act as if she was not there.
Do not be going and acting like I think I will flirt with this hot chick and in the back of your mind you are picturing your old girlfriend looking right at you getting jealous.

Go and act like, "Hey I really think I would like to get to know that girl and I think I will approach her at the punch bowl and see if I can get a dance and maybe things will click with us. NO thought or care to what your ex is or isn't doing.

liz28 · Aug 31, 2008, 01:00 PM

I agree your going for the wrong reasons. Don't think for one minute that once she spot you at the party she'll come running back to you. Who knows she might ignore you. Worst case scernio, your get back together and a week later your back to where you was at before the party because no matter what she's still in love with her ex. Remember that!

tabbarat · Aug 31, 2008, 03:02 PM

OK... good strategy.. "I agree the best thing to do if you go and she is there act as if she was not there.
Do not be going and acting like I think I will flirt with this hot chick and in the back of your mind you are picturing your old gf looking right at you getting jealous.

Go and act like, "Hey I really think I would like to get to know that girl and I think I will approach her at the punch bowl and see if I can get a dance and maybe things will click with us. NO thought or care to what your ex is or isn't doing"

So kind of ignoring her but being polite... that was my strategy all along... hope it has some effect

And liz28: always appreciate your honesty... but you have to remember that I live in the same country as her! Which is to my advantage... the pressure at work made her turn to him because of the history, so I'm thinking it might be a phase... MAYBE, she will turn back and realize she made a mistake, and that the past 4 months with me were great and smthg to build on... MAYBE NOT

OH BTW, SHE DID PICK UP HER SALES, AND IS NOT GETTING FIRED! SHE IS ON PROBATION TILL END OF SEPTEMBER, BUT STILL GOOD NEWS... hopefully this will ease the pressure, calm her down, make her think clearly.. and we'll see

Ithappenstoall · Sep 1, 2008, 12:27 AM

Dubai can be a stressfull place, believe me I know I have lived there for 18 years haha.
It s good that you still living your life and not "hiding" from the places you might run into your ex. With that said, stay strong and do not give her any attention and like everyone said pretend she is not even there, if she runs into you smile be polite, how are you and keep moving.