[slrrn101]

How do I help my 18 year old son get off drugs

[ChihuahuaMomma]

What sort of drugs? Does he live with you? How long has the usage been going on? Has there been a life altering event with him lately? Is he in school? Work? Girlfriend?

[JoeCanada76]

What kind of drugs? How many children do you have? Please explain the situation in more detail.

[slrrn101]

He is 18 and lives in another state with his dad. I took everything I had to let him live with him because I thought I was doing the best for him. I also have a 17 year old daughter with me. We have been divorced for abouty 13 years and its friendly but we don't always agree. My ex is lazy and feels that every bad thing that ever happened to him is someone else's fault. He accepts NO responsibility for his life. I see the same in my son. He got messed up with a bad crowd a couple of years ago and according to his dad he everdosed 2 times on extacy and had to go to the hospital. I wanted him admitted and wanted his dad to say he feared for his life so theyu would admit him to the psych ward. He was also depressed to and felt he had nothing to live for. He straightened up when he met this nice girl that does not do drugs. She is very involved in school and her family. Her family treated him great. But when his dad started not going to work again. He has not had a job since before christmas. My son started going downhill again. He wants me to just keep sending money and bail him out. I will not do that. Oi want to see him help himself. I am thinking about seeing if he will mopve away from Florida and try to start completely over, but I am afraid of what kind of influence he will be for my daughter, And what if he is so far gone now we can't get him back. I don't know if he will steal from me. But I won't be naïve. I love him and want my son back!

[JoeCanada76]

Stop sending him money and stop bailing him out would be the first step..

I know you want to do everything to save your son, but he needs to be the one that wants to make the changes.. Your in different states as well, that has to be hard.. Just know that no matter what happens he has to make his own decisions and will need to call out for help when he is ready.

I mean counsellors, and groups and programs to get involved in that will help him.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Unfortunately with drugs, "learning from their own mistakes" doesn't usually help, because they become accustomed to the shady lifestyle and people because that's who and where they get their drugs. Prison will just teach him how to buy it, sell it, and make it better and without getting caught.

Tough love is the only way. He's still young. Is a move possible. Can you move there? Intervention? See if you can convince him to move back to you. Obviously the best place is to be away from where he is.