[hate_and_love]

I've always been sort of mad and/or sad most of my life because I've been some what of a neglacted kid by my family. I was left behind because my mom had to take care of my older bro and sister. I knew this so I never complained and let myself stay in the sidelines. Sometimes it would hurt knowing that my bro and sis would be getting more attetion from my parents but I wanted to be a "good kid" so I never acted on my feelings.

To this day I still don't I'd would just go to my room and talk to myself or my dog about my problems. I never really let anyone in after my friend of all time died in a horrible accident (it was on the news and everything and this happened about 7 years ago) after realzing how it was so easy to lose someone you care for disappear just like that I closed myself in even more. Lately I've been feeling more anger because my sister is forcing me to do stuff I don't like and my bro is constantly telling me to stop being werid. (I like anime/manga and where I live that's "werid),but I don't want to cost any problems I keep my anger inside and that makes me sad.

I have thought of suicide in the past I even held a knife to my thoart,but I know I really don't want to die. It just I'm so I don't even know anymore and now with the problem with my friend's family (shes like the only friend I've sort of started to open up since my other dear friend die) I'm just at a lost for words. My parents are very like reilgous so I know that if I told them I wanted to leave that religion for another one. (I'm trying to find a religon more that fits me) that they'd be like going crazy and my brother wouldn't want to know anything about me anymore. I also know that if I told them all my problems that they think I;m just being over dramatic.I also know that if I wanted to go to therapy that they'd freak out and call me crazy and that god would help me with my problems.

Some of my problems are my sister constantly yelling at me, my bro always telling me stuff he doesn't like about me,both calling me names,(my parents don't know about it)kids in my school don't like me because I don't believe in their god,I'm losing the only friend I'm opening up too, I never talked to anyone about my friends death and how it hurt me,I constantly get sick and that makes me scare I'm die,I've thought about suicide and how I want to be myself not someone they want me to be, how I feel like crap compared to everyone else but all these problems seems to me nothing compared to my family. I'd rather live a life I don't want to then try to get my family to angry at me for trying to accept me but right now I'm so tired of it all and I want to get out of this habit of wanting every thing got them but all I get is yelled at in return.

So can anyone give me types on how to deal with my anger and depression?

[Clough]

Hi, hate_and_love!

I know how tough it is to be a teenager and dealing with bothers and sisters! I had an older brother who would drive me crazy because of the way that he would treat me!

Have you ever spoken with a counselor at school about the way that you have felt about things?

[simoneaugie]

Growing into the healhy, happy and sane person you want to be is totally possible. But, you must be yourself, even if it causes another person discomfort. You can't keep others happy anyway, no matter how "good" you are.

I understand how isolated you feel because you could have been describing me when I was your age. Stop the people-pleasing, now. It will take time and the learning of new skills. Talk to a school counsellor. Tell him/her that you would like some therapy. You need to talk to someone about your friend's death, and about your family.

Your sister's yelling at you shows that she has problems of her own. You do not deserve to be yelled at. What she is doing is disrespectful. Your brother calling you names, etc. shows that he has problems of his own. His behavior is disrespectful. Your parents should be told that your sibling's behavior is affecting you. As parents, they are responsible for the well-being of all their children.

You may be younger, but are no less important than anyone else.

[0rphan]

Hello h & L,

You really are down in the dumps, nows the time to say to yourself " i don't have to put up with this ",. Firstly confide in your Mum tell her how your being treated by your brother and sister,tell her how it makes you feel, especially since you lost your best mate, tell her how you are so sad that you feel you've lost your only friend and how it's been affecting you, ask her to help you come to terms with this.

I think it's good that you can control your anger but not to the point where it may affect your health ,which is what is happening now. All your pent up feelings are not good, you must talk about them whether it's a family member, a councillor at school or even a neighbour who is willing to let you speak and they will listen This is so important for you to heal inside.



I also think it's time for you to stand up against your brother and sister, if they start yelling, just say what you think and walk away.

It doesn't matter that you believe in their god or not, you obviously believe in something... so call him what ever you wish, he will still hear you, when you ask for help.
I always refer to him as " the good guy upstairs ".


I don't know where you are but is there a child line, that you can phone, if you need some comfort or advice or just a chat.

In the UK we have child line, also Samaritans, who are always there at the end of the line just to listen... I really hope there is something similar for you,have a look on the webb.

You can always post on this site my friend,someone will always answer you.

Takecare

[Choux]

It isn't healthy for you to be throwing "pity parties" for yourself... time to find a way to be positive about your life! Time to make an effort to add positive stuff to your life.

How about making a list of all the positive things in your life right now... and things you would like in your life over the next five years..? :)

You are the one who will make your life; don't forget that. :)

[Oz_Elder]

Hi Hate and Love, Simoneaugie spoke of respect, being respected and valued in your family is HUGELY important.

Though you may not feel it now, your family does love you, and respect you, though they are taking you for granted and need to be told the truth about it. You know that nothing will change as long as you continue to hide your feelings. Being the good kid makes for an easy road, though the easy road is obviously not one that is best for you, otherwise you would not be writing to this board for help.

You need to start defending yourself. You need to start speaking up for yourself.

I suggest you write out a list of the things that hurt you, the names your siblings are calling you, the way that they treat you, the way that you have held in your feelings... even about your confusion with your religion.

Add to the list as you need to... sleep on it... think about it...
be patient... wait a few days, a week, as long as you need to.

When you feel you have everything that really needs to be said (all the feelings of hurt that have been caused to you - and why) written down on paper get a new fresh piece and write all the things you like about your family.

Dig deep, think about times that you have laughed together and write about how you felt when someone did something nice for you or to you. Turn these thoughts into compliments.

Then, armed with your two sheets of paper MAKE a time that your family will HEAR you.

When the time is right, as in one night when you are all sharing dinner together, bring out the lists.

Firstly let your family know the positive things you feel about them.

Then let them know that you need express what has been worrying you. Let them know that these things are very important to you.

The calmly and quietly read your list to them.
If you are interrupted, stop reading, wait until they have "defended" themselves (no one like to be faced with the truth of hurtful behaviours).. continue.

Do not let them steer you off course, by blaming you for their bad behaviours... "yea but..."
read off your feelings like this...
"I feel sad when you call me...
I feel hurt when you...

Describe the BEHAVIOUR that is unacceptable, and how it makes you feel, rather than calling them names or labelling them with things... e.g.. YOU are MEAN when you say...

They cannot argue with HOW YOU FEEL.
Be honest.
Be strong.

You are currently a victim of disrespect.
That is not a nice place to be. You need to become a survivor of this injustice.

You CAN and WILL survive this if you want to... and writing to this board shows me that you want to.
You need to be brave and strong, and show the courage inside you that YOU KNOW is waiting to be free.

Be a survivor, you will be proud of yourself, and so will your family.

You have been given a wonderful opportunity in being alive at this moment, you are healthy, you are strong, you are brave.

Show your courage now, you have a long and big life ahead of you, if you can be brave enough to communicate your deepest feelings with those who are the closest to you now, you will be equipped with a powerful tool that you will carry proudly with you for all the rest of your days.

I wish you well in your life, and I send you courage filled (((Hugz))) from the land of Oz.

[Clough]

Old thread and original poster hasn't been back on this site in almost a year and has never responded to anyone who has given the time to post on this thread.

Thread should probably be closed.

Thanks!

[Oz_Elder]

Woops, I'm new, didn't check the date!

[spoilsport]

Hi, Can you geta dog?
If you like pets, spendtime with them. You should be ale to share your feelings like you do on the forum , its good to share feelingas and you becoem lighter. Do you take part in group activities? HAve you thought of joining a hobby club or soemthing that makes you happy.. music art, painting, story telling .writing stories is also good. Check out some groups in orkut. If you are able to express yourself online, join some good communities.

people yelling at you - well there is always soemone yelling at any stage of life . That should not bother you. But you should tell your parents or better still tell the person yelling at you to try and not do so. Check out some good articles online "how to deal with difficult people" how to be assertive and still be polite.

Definitely you have a lot of time on your hands.. and you keep to yourself is not good. So fill up your free time with good activities involving meeting or interacting with stangers .

are you a boy scout? So some randomn act of kindness.. that will take your attention off you.
meet the counselor if you can or maker friends with some elderly whom you can open up to. It can be a neighbour or somenone.

my teacher always wrote on everyone's slam book "smile, god loves you"
it may be any god. So long as you have faith. Faith is something you cultivate. You need to have patience for that. So wait till you grow older and have more experiacne before deciding to doa nything drastic about religion.

death is soemthing you need to coem to terms with. You need to let go of your best friend , talk to soemone online or someone elderly

take care,
good luck!

[spoilsport]

Hi, Can you geta dog?
If you like pets, spendtime with them. You should be ale to share your feelings like you do on the forum , its good to share feelingas and you becoem lighter. Do you take part in group activities? HAve you thought of joining a hobby club or soemthing that makes you happy.. music art, painting, story telling .writing stories is also good. Check out some groups in orkut. If you are able to express yourself online, join some good communities.

people yelling at you - well there is always soemone yelling at any stage of life . That should not bother you. But you should tell your parents or better still tell the person yelling at you to try and not do so. Check out some good articles online "how to deal with difficult people" how to be assertive and still be polite.

Definitely you have a lot of time on your hands.. and you keep to yourself is not good. So fill up your free time with good activities involving meeting or interacting with stangers .

are you a boy scout? So some randomn act of kindness.. that will take your attention off you.
meet the counselor if you can or maker friends with some elderly whom you can open up to. It can be a neighbour or somenone.

my teacher always wrote on everyone's slam book "smile, god loves you"
it may be any god. So long as you have faith. Faith is something you cultivate. You need to have patience for that. So wait till you grow older and have more experiacne before deciding to doa nything drastic about religion.

death is soemthing you need to come to terms with. You need to let go of your best friend , talk to soemone online or someone elderly

If you get angry then write everything down .you can also write a letter to soemone who bothers you. Then tear the papper and throw it in a dustbin. It really helps.

take care,
good luck!

[servant1]

Hi:

I'm not sure if you're still checking this blog due to the date. Anyhow, everything that you had said came straight from your heart. If you can, speak to your parents about your feelings. If you cannot, then, I suggest that you have the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth help you. He always helps me when I'm down and out. Remember, it is not "you" wanting to commit suicide---it is from the devil. Rebuke it in Jesus name! If you're not a born again christian, find a bible believing church that believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that Jesus has shed His precious blood for our awful sins, transgressions and iniquities. Ask the Lord for His divine intervention. Repent for all the wrongs that you had done. Then, let Jesus enter into your heart. Get water baptized. God will do miraculous things for you and He will reveal to you as to who He is... Yes, God is alive and well. God will help you pull through your rejection and abandonment. Most importantly, ask God to help you forgive your parents, sister and brother and also yourself---for we cannot do it by ourselves. Ask God to fill you up with His love and to take away all the void inside. Ask God to surround you with His warring angels and ministering angels. Life is precious and you are precious to God. God knows you (even before you were born). Go to Him and don't be afraid.

God bless you.