Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    RJD12's Avatar
    RJD12 Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 16, 2008, 04:30 PM
    A Marines lonely heart
    Hello all. I'm Marine officer, been in the Marines for almost nine years. It makes having a relationship hard but at my age I am willing to have someone in my life. But flight school makes that hard also. I met another Marine LT that is also in flight a bit ahead of me in training. She is awesome, after we met we spent 12 solid days togather and it was absoulutely wonderful. She went on leave came back and classed up and had some stressful times. After a week of her and I both starting training I noticed she was becoming more distant. Finally one Friday she called and said that she dosen't want to juggle flight school a social life and a relationship. However stating that I would make a great boyfriend and that the time was just terriable. I can't get this girl off my mind. She has touched my heart like no other. I am having a hard time concentraing on my training now. I guess I would like to know what every one thought. I know that we only really spent about three weeks togather and as crazy as it sounds I opened my heart up to her. Do you think that when she becomes less stress maybe we will continue the romance? I really want this girl back!

    J
    star3114's Avatar
    star3114 Posts: 234, Reputation: 44
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Aug 16, 2008, 08:03 PM
    Give her the space and wait and see. Don't hold your breath because when girls usually bring up the time issue, it is because they are not interested or seeing someone else. Keep in mind that it is truly hard to know what a person is "really" like after three weeks. People can put on pretty good shows of telling you what you want to hear during that time. The true test will be what happens in the next months. That is when you will discover her true intentions. Take care and God bless!
    Janmarie's Avatar
    Janmarie Posts: 167, Reputation: 46
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Aug 16, 2008, 08:15 PM
    I have to agree, only time will truly tell if you really want this girl back or not. Just be yourself and observe things. She may be just stressed out right now, she may have someone else in her life, she may just not want a relationship at this time because she wants to focus on her flight training. Be patient and watch.
    Tralyn's Avatar
    Tralyn Posts: 230, Reputation: 17
    Full Member
     
    #4

    Aug 16, 2008, 09:10 PM
    She may also be scared of making a commitment when you guys already make a huge commitment with your careers. You have to give this time, I agree with all the others.

    Do you two ever see each other now?
    Allheart's Avatar
    Allheart Posts: 1,639, Reputation: 436
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Aug 17, 2008, 12:06 AM
    Hey RJ -

    First, THANK YOU for your service. So very proud of you.

    As you know, going through this training process, for both of you, will teach you things to save your life and the lives of others. It is so important for you right now, to stay focused.
    And that is what she is trying to do.

    Yes, I more then understand opening your heart and how much you want this girl in your life, and maybe it will happen, but she is so right, now is just not the time.

    Get that training under your belt, in your mind and in your heart. The personal things in your life will fall into place, but you need to give it time.

    For right now, focus on that job at hand. It's too important and you can't afford to let this interfere with the things you need to do and learn.

    I do understand, I truly do. You have a duty to yourself and that is keeping the mind focused and when the right time comes, I bet your roads will cross once again.
    RJD12's Avatar
    RJD12 Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #6

    Aug 17, 2008, 08:58 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by RJD12
    Hello all. I'm Marine officer, been in the Marines for almost nine years. It makes having a relationship hard but at my age I am willing to have someone in my life. But flight school makes that hard also. I met another Marine LT that is also in flight a bit ahead of me in training. She is awesome, after we met we spent 12 solid days togather and it was absoulutely wonderful. She went on leave came back and classed up and had some stressful times. After a week of her and I both starting training I noticed she was becoming more distant. Finally one friday she called and said that she dosen't want to juggle flight school a social life and a relationship. However stating that I would make a great boyfriend and that the time was just terriable. I can't get this girl off my mind. she has touched my heart like no other. I am having a hard time concentraing on my training now. I guess I would like to know what every one thought. I know that we only really spent about three weeks togather and as crazy as it sounds I opened my heart up to her. Do you think that when she becomes less stress maybe we will continue the romance? I really want this girl back!

    J

    Yes, we had dinner last night. Shared a bottle of wine and chit chatted. Towards the end of the meal I brought up some questions I had. She further explained her reasons. I understand a bit more of why she was able to walk away so easily. I was in a similar spot in my life when I was 25 as she is. She has dated s and was burned pretty bad so she is kind of numb. She also told me that she thinks I would be a great boyfriend and that I am the only guy she has ever saw that actually wanted to to stay friends. She doesn't know what the future holds since she isn't looking that far ahead. Basically who knows what will happen. I think I have to remain her friend. Continue to be a sincere guy and hope that when things slow and as we get to know each other better that the spark will lite again. I walked her to her jeep she showed me everything she had bought that day. We hugged, and she stated we should do this again or cook togather at one anothers houses. I also stated I missed hanging out with her. I just miss the connection that was once there. Time will tell the tale of this story. I don't know if I was wrong when she had stated she didn't want me to pass anything up when I interjected and told her that she has this quality about her that I can't seem to put in finger on or forget. Stating that I wasn't mad at her and respect the fact that she can be honest with me. That I want to be friends and see where things may go in time. Hopefully we can have the passion that once was. There was no shortage of that.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Aug 17, 2008, 03:20 PM
    I really want this girl back!
    You never had her, so get over the idea, as she is busy with obligations, and commitments, and so are you, so put your priorities in order, and see what happens in the future.

    Be a friend, and fun date, but take a hint, she isn't just running head first into a brick wall, or expecting more than friendship, neither should you. What's the hurry??

    Get to know her but drop the relationship stuff or hints of more, as she has laid it out for you TWICE, and that should be enough. Listen to what she is telling you, and don't go assuming just because you have strong feelings.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #8

    Aug 17, 2008, 04:06 PM
    Hello and again thank you for the service you do to our nation.

    Having been there in varoius trainings, I is so common to see temporary dating and affairs doing all sorts of special training camps. I have seen that in military, other government and in police training. Something about being at the training, having a common shared interest and a empty place gives each a chance to fool the other into "love"

    Share what time there may be, but don't expectit to be anything other than a time to share.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

College or Marines [ 38 Answers ]

Hello. I was wondering if anyone could give me some guidance. For the longest time I've wanted to serve my country, after September 11th my will became greater. I am a senior in high school and for the better half of the year I had been fixed on enlisting into the Marines right after I...

Am I too old for the Marines? [ 6 Answers ]

Hello everyone: I always wanted to join the Marines. At 18 I wanted to enlist but I broke my leg and that was it. I am 25 now. Since that time most of my family wanted me to stay out of the military and I did. I had many jobs but I did't like any of them I always wanted something interesting and...

Scared About Marines [ 10 Answers ]

OK. I need some real good advice. Honestly my recruiter I think gives me bull and I've been trying to search someone who has any help for months. Now I'm honestly tired of trying to give people my life story but in a nut shell I was big fat and no muscle over a year ago and through high school...

Would I be able to handle the marines [ 5 Answers ]

I am a small lady I am not sure that my body would be able to take the beating. I would like to go in to the marines after high school. How much of my college fund will they pay? After that I would like to start a career in underwater welding but that is another topic.

Another lonely heart [ 2 Answers ]

Sometimes I am sure that I already know the answers to my own questions, and that frightens me because I want to be wrong. I don't want to know. In fact I wouln't mind knowing things if they were going to work out the way I wanted them too. For instance. I am tired of being alone. Raising my...


View more questions Search