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Psychosocial · Aug 15, 2008, 01:58 AM

K so this is a really long story, but I'll try to cut it short
So last year I was 15, and I became friends with a girl, that introduced me to her friend, who was 40 years old, that actually paid her for sex whenever she needed money. Well when I met the guy I didn't know and he ended up paying me for sex, cause he thought that's what I was there for, and I was kind of scared and didn't want to say no
Cause well I didn't know the guy, I was scared that maybe if I said no he would have hurt me in some way, so I went along with it, and then I really got to know the guy, and me and him became very good friends, he got me a job with him, and we went out for dinner and movies, and all sorts of stuff, but we were still having sex.
After a few months we ended up fighting a lot more, and finally I got out of the relationship.
But turns out the girl that introduced us and was doing the same thing, got mad, because this 40 year old ended up hanging out with me more, and Told a bunch of school mates about what I was doing.
It ruined my life, and almost everyone I know now, knows about it, and think's I'm some total slut.every guy I meet doesn't even want me, then just think I'll have sex with them.
My life is completely ruined from this
But the thing is, when it was happening, I didn't think anything of it, we had like a normal boyfriend and girlfriend relationship till it went sour. But cause of how everyone else looks at it, I feel as if I'm a completely horrible person.
Tell me was it really that horrible? Did I make a mistake? And will my life ever be normal again?

ScarletSea · Aug 15, 2008, 03:30 AM

I take it everyone doesn't know about your friend who did it? Well, its quite an awkward position to be in as you are still at school and well school can be a harsh place to be. Perhaps you did make a mistake but remember everyone learns from them. Your not a horrible person your only what, 16? This guy is 40! He is the one in the wrong not you. I can understand you didn't want to turn him down as you were scared, I would be too if that happened to be at that age, actually at this age too lol. People may move on from this and before you know it they'll have someone else to taunt but if they don't then maybe move school or just get through school concentrate on your studies then start fresh when you leave. Your "friend" was obviously very jeolous of you and was quite bitter doing what she did. Talk to her about it as she is a bit young to be doing this... She may not want to listen but just let her know that she could be putting herself in danger and there is safer ways to make money. Anyway, don't feel bad, talk to someone you trust about it.

Xx

Emland · Aug 15, 2008, 06:47 AM

Call me old fashioned, but having sex with old men you don't really know for money isn't exactly a good thing.

This guy could be arrested for rape and IMO should be.

I'm really curious how all this could have happened with your parents knowing nothing about the 40 year old. I would suggest a real heart to heart with them and set some priorities and boundaries or you could really get yourself into a lot of trouble.

Roborat · Aug 15, 2008, 07:13 AM

Firstly that bloke should be banged up for statutory rape. He took advantage and he should pay the price - you are not to blame.

Now, in regards to your situation, I would try and put it behind me, do well in school if you are still there and then try and go to college somewhere that you won't be known and start afresh. Unfortunately mud sticks, but if you change your ways and don't let it keep you down people will forget about it in time.

Psychosocial · Aug 15, 2008, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by ScarletSea

I take it everyone doesnt know about your friend who did it? Well, its quite an awkward position to be in as you are still at school and well school can be a harsh place to be. Perhaps you did make a mistake but remember everyone learns from them. Your not a horrible person your only what, 16? This guy is 40!! He is the one in the wrong not you. I can understand you didnt want to turn him down as you were scared, I would be too if that happened to be at that age, actually at this age too lol. People may move on from this and before you know it theyll have someone else to taunt but if they dont then maybe move school or just get through school concentrate on your studies then start fresh when you leave. Your "friend" was obviously very jeolous of you and was quite bitter doing what she did. Talk to her about it as she is a bit young to be doing this... She may not want to listen but just let her know that she could be putting herself in danger and there is safer ways to make money. Anyway, dont feel bad, talk to someone you trust about it.

xx

Well my "friend" just told everyone I did it, but I'm not the type to talk about peoples personal lives, so I didn't like turn around and be like well she did it too, but she was older than me, she was 17 when we were friends, but she was with that guy for 4 years, so since she was 13. But I did switch schools, but even at my new school, there are people who know me, and have heard about what happened. But the thing is, my "friend" that got me into all this, isn't my friend anymore. And I haven't talked to her, or the 40 year old for about a year now. And I have talked to people I thought I trusted about it, and they all just turned around and told more people, and they started calling me a slut, and whatever they thought of

ScarletSea · Aug 15, 2008, 02:19 PM

Since she was 12! Jeeese I really think that guy should be reported... Yes I have learnt this too, people I thought I trusted but found out they told other people even when I told them not to. When do you finish school? I think when you leave things will be fine you'll meet new friends, and because everyone will be maturer you will be able to tell them as they won't judge you because you can tell them what really happened. Do you feel you need to talk to someone? If you do and you can't trust your friends then talk to a councelor or therapist... I wouldn't let it bother as long as you know your not a slut then it doesn't matter what they think.

Xx

Psychosocial · Aug 15, 2008, 02:27 PM

Well I don't know, from what he told me, It was her idea because she needed money one day, and he was horny or something, so they came up with that solution but I've only got one more year till I'm done school.and I don't want to talk to a therapist or anything cause they'll probably want the guys info to like charge him or something, I don't know I don't want this to be a huge deal, It's just cause everyone that knows about it makes me seem like a horrible person. But none of them understand that something like that changes you for the better or for worse, and for me its been for the better. But cause no one knows I've started to feel like it was really bad, and I'm like some horrible person for doing it, and stuff, but like after one or two times, it wasn't even that I was having sex with him for money, he became like a friend, and he helped me out with a lot of things, it's not that he's even that horrible of a person, he was really a good guy, and he was my best friend for the couple of months I knew him.

Merricat · Aug 17, 2008, 07:38 AM

I know it seems overwhelming now, but after school, you will most likely never associate with any of these people again. You can move away, go to college, whatever. Your life will be completely different from what it is now and no one will know anything about your past except what you chose to share. I am on the other side of the country from my high school, know no one I went to school with, haven't even stepped foot in my home town since the day I left for college. Things change. It sucks now. It's not forever.

ScarletSea · Aug 17, 2008, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by Psychosocial

Well I don't know, from what he told me, It was her idea because she needed money one day, and he was horny or something, so they came up with that solution but I've only got one more year till I'm done school.and i don't want to talk to a therapist or anything cause they'll probably want the guys info to like charge him or something, I don't know I don't want this to be a huge deal, It's just cause everyone that knows about it makes me seem like a horrible person. but none of them understand that something like that changes you for the better or for worse, and for me its been for the better. but cause no one knows I've started to feel like it was really bad, and I'm like some horrible person for doing it, and stuff, but like after one or two times, it wasnt even that I was having sex with him for money, he became like a friend, and he helped me out with a lot of things, it's not that he's even that horrible of a person, he was really a good guy, and he was my best friend for the couple of months i knew him.

Well the therapist can't say anything really because its confidential. If you have only got a year left then just ignore these people. Most likley there imature and can't comprahend what happened. Your not a bad person and like you said its made you better. That can only be a good thing. Like Merricat said you will probably never meet these people again and when you do they will be older and wiser. Things WILL change. Just get on with this year how ever hard and look forward. Good Luck xx