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ScarletSea · Aug 10, 2008, 05:00 AM

Well, we met a few years ago and have been best friends ever since. We get on so well and have never fallen out. It has only been recently that I have begun to get really frustrated with her.
Having the same odd top or bit of jewellery or that I'm not bothered with but she is a clone of me! When we went out she always complimented me on my outfits and borrowed a lot of my stuff. We then went shopping because she said she needed new stuff. She got the same jeans as me, the same top and the same shirt but a different colour! Also, I got a flesh tunnel so did she. I got pearl beads so did she. I paint my nails black. So did she. I'm blonde and she was a brunette but the other week she dyed her hair blonde the same colour as me! Now she's losing weight because she wants to be as thin as me. And the really argrivating thing is she looks really hot now! Worse still she's began acting really cocky and stuff because she's been getting a lot of attention off guys.
I have made the odd comment like "oh you always copy me" but she doesn't seem to be bothered. I also noticed her rooms a bit like mine. She always asks me what I'm doing and stuff and even what I was talking about on the phone to my friend! But when I turn it back on her she's like just ignores me. ARG.
Well, sorry if I'v ranted a bit but its really got to me lol. She's still at school and I'm starting college. Thank god. I'm wondering if I should like start speaking to her less because even the stupidist things are starting to annoy me and it makes me look like a total b*tch.
Anyway, I'd be so grateful for any comments.

Thanks.

Xx

jjwoodhull · Aug 10, 2008, 06:06 AM

She copies you because she admires you. That said, it can definitely be annoying. When you go shopping with her, steer her toward other things. If she picks out a shirt like yours, pick up another and say "I think you would look better in this shirt." (but mean it - don't talk her into buying things that look bad.)

But if you are moving to another school soon, then don't make a big deal. Many friendships fall off when you are not longer together in school. Once you are apart you will either miss her and not care anymore about the copying, or you won't miss her and will make new friends.

ScarletSea · Aug 10, 2008, 06:14 AM

Yeah I tried that "this would suit you" thing but it didn't work haha. Thanks for the help though I think I will see how things go once we are apart. It could just be a summer thing because I'v spent a lot of time with her.

AsClOsEaSiTgEtS · Aug 11, 2008, 01:47 PM

I know how you feel... I have a friend that acts exactly like that... Its probably because like you said... your going off to college and she's still in school... mabey its going to be her way of remembering you... or like the other comment... she admires you... compliment her on her looks more often and tell her how you truly feel... I mean seriously... ask her over for dinner... sit down and explain exactly how you feel about the situation... dont just sit there and let it bother you... tell her how it is... trust me... it works... she mite be a little hurt at first so give her some space and time to think about then mabey things will get better... me and one of my friends went through the same thing so I know how you feel.:p lolz♥

ScarletSea · Aug 13, 2008, 08:09 AM

Thanks think Ill defo try that because the other day I was in town with her and she bought a similar top to mine! Arg. I tried to say oh this is dead nice, try this one and stuff but she just no I'm getting the other top. She starts school next week so I'm going to see how things go but next time I definitely see her I'm going to say something. I think other people have noticed a bit though because I said to my friend the other day Im dyeing my hair brown and he goes is that because *friend* has stolen your blonde lol. I was like YES. Which is a pain because I do like being blonde.

Xx

ScarletSea · May 2, 2009, 01:00 AM

Threads merged

Ok, so I'm pretty frustrated at the moment, please bear with me.

About a year ago (wow that's gone fast!) I posted about my copycat friend and the answers I got back were useful and I told her that I didn't like us looking the same and meantioned how she had a lot of the same stuff as me. However, she still seems to copy me! Now not really the same stuff but similar enough.

We went shopping the other week for our birthdays and I had black nails and bought this really nice dress. The next day I get a text from her saying she's painting her nails black for our birthdays and now got one saying she's getting the pink dress which is the exect same style as mine!!

There is a ton of other things she's copied me with but I won't bore you with them lol. Even people get us confused! Say they have seen her when its actually been me and my mum went "are you two trying to look the same." Sorry really frustrates me because its my style and I don't want people thinking I copied her.

I think she gets too dependable on people. She usually won't go out unless I am and when I told her that I was moving to a different city this year she tried to put me off it and said she didn't really want me going...

Anyway, if you'v read that rant, I'd really appreciate some advise... To be honest this is the only thing that bugs me loads about her. I do want to stay friends but this is getting to a point where I actually want to see her less...

Thanks =]

Bluerose · May 2, 2009, 07:19 AM

Start wearing more and more outrageous clothes and let her copy you and the next time you are meeting up for somewhere important you turn up in your normal clothes. No? Then how about the next time you are both going somewhere, talk about what you are going to wear then turn up wearing something completely different and just tell her you changed your mind the dress or whatever wasn’t really you anyway. No? Then do what most grown ups do, think of it as the sincerest form of flattery. And remember to spare a thought for your poor friend who probably lacks the fashion style gene.

IheartEdward · May 2, 2009, 12:00 PM

Yeah, I kind of agree with Bluerose but then again that shows sshe insucure about herself and oyur just going to make it worse for her. She clearly justs to fit in and she's maybe looking up to you for guidance. I think you should talk to her and see if she okay.

ScarletSea · May 3, 2009, 01:43 AM

Thanks for your advise. I have tried to ignore it and take it as a compliment but sometimes it goes too far and we look identicle and I just can't help but get annoyed. She isn't really one to talk about feelings and I have tried too but she does't really respond. Sometimes I feel though she takes advantage because I am really nice to her and if I see something and go "I really like that think Ill buy it when I have money" She'll grab it and buy it then and say that she likes it too. I know she knows she looks good because she gets a lot of attention but its my style she's stealing but if I do wear anything slightly different she'll say its horrible but then a few weeks later she'll go buy it!

IheartEdward · May 3, 2009, 08:43 AM

Hmm, then I agree with bluerose, were ssomething outragous and see if she has the nerve to copy you.

Jake2008 · May 3, 2009, 09:41 AM

Maybe the silver lining here is you are moving to another city this year, and it will no longer be a problem.

In the meanwhile, nothing seems to work in getting her to stop copying you, even though she knows that it bothers you.

It may be time to just ease up on the friendship rather than to force her to change at this point. You are under no obligation to see her as often as you do, and if you need a break from her, just take it.

The next time she assumes that you are available, just say, "Sorry, i've made other plans", and leave it at that. This will get all tripped up if you try to invent excuses, and have to lie about them later on, as surely she will ask. Keep it simple. Even tell her you're spending time alone with your mom.

She relies on you for her identity, right down to the clothes she wears. People like that are very insecure and clingy. You aren't doing her any favours by accepting this behaviour.

You can't change her, but you can change how you respond to her. Time to take your identity back.

Fuzzball_Kara · May 3, 2009, 10:03 AM

Yeah! Blue rose has a point. Where something crazy.. Or maybe take your own advise and see less of her.
She probably doesn't feel very confident about herself. You can always recommend something for her. Look at fashion magazines together and point out a shirt that you think would look good on her. And in stead of copying you she'll wear what you said she'd look good in. It's worth a try.