[Pikahsoh]

We Have been dating for 6 months now.

My girlfriend is a bisexual that appears to be more attracted to females.

1. She wears cloths made for men
2. She says things like "I hate 'guy' legs"
3. She writes a lot and portrays herself as a male
4. however she has a few feminine qualities as well...likes to shop / spend money...puppy dog eyes...her exterior is more masculine but her interior is more feminine

My question lies herein:
How can I, or more importantly she, tell which gender she is more attracted to sexually?

My girlfriend has a few issues with a majority of the people of the world. She dresses, differently, acts differently, likes to keep to herself and blocks her emotions. I fear that she has gotten used to doing this after such a lengthy period that it has become impossible for her to show her emotions and let me into her heart.

My question lies herein:
What will it take to tear down the walls she spent her entire life building up and get her to open up to me? Because neither her nor myself can seem to figure it out.

I say lack of "sex" with quotes because we haven't had sex yet, in fact were both virgins still. Our sex life consists of me caressing her breasts, massaging her thighs and vagina / clitoris. And quite a bit of making out.

My question lies herein:
If she is comfortable enough to allow me to this to her why can't she do it to me?

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In an attempt to answer these questions myself, I have spoken with her on several occasions expressing my concerns.

A few steps I have suggested:
She claims to be sexually attracted to men but it appears that the thought of a penis penetrating her grosses her out. She says she has masturbated but never actually inserted anything into her. I suggested she go home and use her fingers to see if she prefers inner stimulation or outer. But just because she is more sensitive on the outside doesn't mean that she won't enjoy inside stimulation as well.

The thought that she cannot emotionally let me in until she is able to physically let me in has crossed my mind but until tonight I was too scared to say anything for fear of her thinking I were simply trying to trick her into have sexual relations. Sure enough after I stated my opinion those were her exact thoughts but by this point I had run out of ideas so I had to make the suggestion.

The very last thing I want is to force her to do something uncomfortable to her but I cannot continue to cater her sexual whim without any satisfaction of my own. She has very kindly asked that I not use pornography to assist me in this and I have done so thus far (6 orgasm less months despite what I have led her to believe). I want to make it known that I could very easily go another 6 months without sex or orgasm but for me to do this in all fairness I cannot continue to satisfy her and I don't want the lack of satisfaction to make her leave because I do lover her very much. I won't even consider asking for nude pictures of her as of yet because I have only seen one of her breasts once by accident (don't ask) and nudity is another issue that she is not comfortable with.

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Our relationship will not last if these things cannot be dealt with effectively I'm very concerned because I know we could make it very far if we can get passed this. Please give me ANY suggestions that you may have even the smallest simplest thing may be what we need so do not hesitate putting your 2 cents in.

[ylaira]

The very last thing I want is to force her to do something uncomfortable to her but I cannot continue to cater her sexual whim without any satisfaction of my own. .

How old are both of you? You sound like you are in a hurry to penetrate with her when she's not ready.

Do you know that being a virgin's sex for the first time is very very very very very very painful and scary? And it doesn't mean that she's bisexual just because she's comfortable in wearing mens clothes and yes me too I find men's legs gross but I'm a 100% attracted to men.

Its just 6 months. Enjoy knowing her for now.

[HighandDryinnNy]

Seems like she may have some baggage that you are too immature to handle. For all your well worded questions and lists, you are just a horny kid who wants to exploit love to get in her pants. Have you ever considered that she may have been abused in some way by a man? Sounds like her issues go a little deeper then being gay or scared to have sex. If you love her, be patient, otherwise, let her go gently and pick up the next slam pig who I'm sure you have hanging around your school. Sounds like just what you need if your relationship "cant get past" her not being ready. Way to go man. No offense, its just the truth be told.

[talaniman]

After only 6 months you don't know her well enough, so keep learning, and slow down on the push for sex.

You expect way too much to soon. When she is comfortable she will let you in, but sex is another matter, as you have to wait until she is ready.