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nicegirlnomore · Aug 2, 2008, 07:29 PM

I am here only because I do not want to speak to my family or friends, again. I have been living common law with this guy for about 5 years.. it has had its ups and downs. I own my own home and have been standing on my own two feet since I was 18. About two years ago I caught him on an internet dating sight... not snooping but he opened his email right in fron of me.. and I saw a very questionable "subject". I made him open it in front of me, to make along story short, he swore he never met any of them and we did go to councilling. His family, and I hate to put it this way, was on my side. They were so angry. His Mom even said to me that she could not believe he wld mess up the best thing that ever happened to him. I knew what she meant as his realationship with his ex wife and kids has gotten so much better since we met. Overall his general way of life has gotten better. He has bad credit, and a questionable past; but I know for a fact from his family that he really got a bum deal from his ex. Well.. I was was looking for something for him in his car today and I found condoms. We both do not need them anymore. I am beside myself and feel like a complete idiot. I know he will have an excuse, I found some before and he said he was just testing me as his ex use to go through his stuff all the time. He wanted to see if I was snooping... It had taken me forever to get any form of trust back with this man. I feel like a fool.. one note worthy of mention is that he always shoots back at me the fact that he does not know what "I" have been up to. Says he sees unknown numbers etc on the phone when he is away. I have never ever done anything to make him feels that way. I love this man to death and even now am having doubts as to what to do. Is he doing this because he is insecure? I just feels like I am the one paying for whatever happened to him in the past. Even as I write this, the old intiution is saying he has messed around on me. Both men and women.. we just know. I am a bit scared as his temper is terrible. He has never touched me before; but when he gets back tomorrow I am afraid my anger is going to make me scream at him. I feel like I have been emade a fool of, he has a nice home and stays here for a song and a dance.. meanwhile gets what he wants on the side? Am I being paranoid? All you guys out there, what would possibly be the reaosn for having condoms in your car?? Help! Am I a complelte fool?

chopaface · Aug 2, 2008, 07:41 PM

You are a beautiful, intelligent, hilarious, and well-accomplished, and fascinating woman.

Like all other women, we are brilliantly awesome. I don't know why men would take women for granted. Their sense of love is too much for us to handle whether they truly love us or not. His actions are stronger than his words. Words can be said with anything according to the dictionary, but what his actions can do, that his words cannot do, make them up and lie. His actions, motives, plans, history, if they are certainly questionable, then you cannot trust them. Even if he has NEVER slept with anyone but rather PLANNING to or WANTING to... either way, that's a major sign of distrust in his love for you. He's uncertain about his love for you, if he says he loves you, then it is a lie.

Sometimes, it is in men's biology to have more than one partner to spread one's "seed"... (Although clearly it's used as a stupid joke for whatever is left of an excuse that a guy has). Otherwise, then they follow society's values and beliefs that it is better to have one partner than two at the same time. Separately, understandably.

You deserve to be with someone better.

Your emotions are not fooling you.

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Dating Without Drama - Paige Parker

nicegirlnomore · Aug 2, 2008, 08:01 PM

Its scary, I know what my brain is telling me, I just do not think my heart can bear the truth.

talaniman · Aug 2, 2008, 09:43 PM

I have been living common law with this guy for about 5 years.. it has had its ups and downs. I own my own home and have been standing on my own two feet since I was 18

he has a nice home and stays here for a song and a dance..

The old intiution is saying he has messed around on me. Both men and women.. we just know

These are some of the things I found confusing, and need some clarification. I think 5 years is a long time without defining things but all I have are your own intuition to go with, and that may be dead on. If all you have are condoms, and you've been through that before, why is it different now??