[orange]

Since there seems to be a lot about marriage and relationships on the forum today, it made me think about my adoptive parents, who have been married for about 40 years, and are obviously happy together, but still treat each other like crap lol.

Like I don't mean they treat each other badly in major ways but they have a lot of little fights and insult each other during the day, every day. A couple of examples:

My mom calls my dad her "hunk of misery" several times a day lol. And after they eat supper, never fail, she says, "It's time for the coffee, Walter." and he goes off to make it. Then she says to all present, "It's only fair that he should make the coffee, don't you agree? He doesn't do anything else around here."

Walter loves to talk about medicine (he's a doctor), computer hardware, and cameras. He will start telling me about something, and then my mom (Sara) will say, "Oh Walter, Chava doesn't want to hear about THAT!" Then he shuts up, but talks to me about it later on when she's not around lol.

Last summer they took me for a ride in the country, and we saw fields of flax. For those who don't know, flax looks very blue, and can be mistaken for water. Well, Walter and Sara disagreed about whether it was flax or water. They bickered about it for a while, then forgot about it. A couple of hours later, we were out for dinner and they saw some friends. Sara mentioned seeing lots of water in the fields, and Walter said, "It was flax". LOL. Then they talked about something else again.

Anyway I could give lots more examples, but you get the idea. Why do older couples do this? Is this what I have to look forward to in my old age? :D

[CaptainForest]

Hehehe

My parents are the same way.

I don't know why they do it, but it is quite humorous to watch.

[talaniman]

We're a young older couple (32 Tears and counting) and believe it or not still like to poke at each other and to this day she thinks she's smarter. I think your folks are VERY comfortable with each other and enjoy the barbs back and forth. Yes this is how it goes after so long and after 40 years if you get old you'll be the same way. The truth is after so long together nobody wants to fight so we just talk about each other.:cool: :)

[orange]

Haha well it's nice to know other people find it funny, because I think it's hilarious! The thing is too, they will be perfectly nice and polite to everyone else around, and *****y and mean to each other.

I just had to share one more story... also last summer, when Walter was still working in the ER, Alex and I were over at the house for dinner and we asked him some question about working there. Well I don't know how it happened, but within 2 minutes or less of us asking the question, Sara was infuriated. She was saying to Walter, "You left Davey and I (David is their eldest son) at the lake with NO TRANSPORTATION and went back to the hospital. The hospital was more important to you than your own wife and child", etc, etc... and Walter was saying, "But Sara, but Sara, you're remembering it wrong, Sara!" And this went on for at least 30 minutes while Alex and I sat there and tried not to laugh... the incident they were arguing about happened over 35 years ago! LOL!

[fredg]

Hi,
Long time married couples have their ways of talking, and reacting with each other; differing from one marriage to another.
My neighbors celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last week. They don't "quarrel" with each other... they are just that way.
Relationships are different, and nowadays, with over half the marriages ending in divorce, it is very pleasant to know someone who has stayed married for many years. Our own marriage is going on 30 yrs now.
We sometimes, but not often, "flare up" at each other, lose patience, and get a little loud with expressing disapproval... but it's over in an hour or less.

[Cgirl]

Orange, have you ever seen the show "everybody Loves Raymond"? This is a perfect example of this, allthought Ray's dad is a little too mean to his wife... but growing up in a Italian-american family this is a very common thing in my family as well. My Great Nana and Papa were the same way, she'd always tell him "ahhh, shut up!" and we would all laugh out loud at this. He was the "you'll poke your eye out" type of grandpa. We had a lot of great laughs when they were alive! :)

[milliec]

Well,
What really matters are the feelings involved. As long as the people present find it hilarious and not annoying, it means that there is some sort of "undertext" which is carried through something in the intonation, gestures,etc.
It seems to be like a behavior which is a kind of a running gag "package"
I do remember some things of this sort between my parents;
Like certain "lines" my father used to say from time to time without ever annoying my mother or making any of the present persons feel uncomfortable.
Millie

[phillysteakandcheese]

After a long period together, there are several "inside jokes" that a couple shares. Out of context they may sound bad, mean, or insulting, but the "real" meaning in the comment relates to the past shared history of the couple.

If they are happy together, and you can see the context around the rest of their conversation is not malicious, it's probably their own "inside joke". :)

[JoeCanada76]

Orange,

LOL

My wife and I have a little joke, because we have a habit of giving each other a hard time. The joke is that will be old with canes and we will probably out of the blue or in bordem start hitting each other with our canes. Trying to chase each other around the house. Hee Hee. FEEL THE LOVE, It is all about the love. I am smiling just picturing My wife and I tapping each other with our canes. SWEET THOUGHTS.

LOL

Joe

[Tommyp!972]

These sound like my in-laws... lol... ALL relationships have their little quirks,, NOBODY here will ever say they have never treated the other spouse with a hint of anger... sounds like your mom could be jealous of your dad... he's probably said in the past how important his job is compared to hers and she didn't like it... who knows... it happens... that's what happens after that long a period of marriage... be glad they still communicate albeit in a weird way... my wife always threatens me in a funny way that if I don't start cleaning up after myself she won't change my diapers when I get old... lol... ahhhhh LOVE

[orange]

Thanks everyone for all the great sharing and ideas. You're all right, it's probably an inside joke or the result of living together for so long. I guess my husband and I have certain things we say too, or rather, I say things to him LOL. And they are meant to be funny and harmless. But I guess it wouldn't be seen that way to people who didn't know us.