[lostinthemoment]

I am going to make a long story short, I have been with my children's father for 10 yrs now and prior to him I was with my ex. We were young, I was 18 at the time when I was with him. I left him because he was worried about hustling and making money at the time and I didn't want that. When I met my current boyfriend I had just literally left my ex. I got pregnant about 8 months of being with him, in between times I was still seeing my ex.( not sexually) But I decided to cut all ties with him because I was pregnant and that was the right thing to do. Through the years I have always wondered about him . I did keep in contact with him for about 3 yrs after getting pregnant, but only over the phone. Well I have finally found him again and he has did a whole 360 with his life. He is in college, working a full time job etc... I went and seen him last week and visited him for about an hour and all the "old" feelings I had resurfaced. I never did get any closure with him, due to certain circumstances ,I know we have both changed and we are different people but the feelings I had when we were younger are still there. I have never forgot about him and I always thought about him and I have been looking for him for the past few years. I don't know what to do. Its not like we are messing around, just talking on the phone and I seen him once. What do I do ?

[N0help4u]

Why if you are with the father of your kids have been looking for him?
Where were you hoping things would go when you were looking for him?
Is your relationship with your kids dad not going well?
Most often it is best to do the right thing and stay with your kids dad and not tempt yourself by complicating things. You satisfied your curiosity what positives do you really think can come of keeping on going with this other guy?

[tomder55]

Then

I left him because he was worried about hustling and making money at the time and I didn't want that.

Now

He is in college, working a full time job etc.

What changed ? You changed.

[Romefalls19]

You need to keep those feelings deep down, you seem to have a good relationship with your children's father so keep it that way. Don't fall into the grass is greener scenario please!

[lostinthemoment]

Actually we are NOT happy. We are trying to make things work but we seem to want two different things. My heart has always been with my ex and I am not saying I am going to go leave my current boyfriend for him... I just wanted to see how he was etc... but at this moment in time sometimes I feel we are only together because of the kids. When the bad times out weigh the good then something is wrong. We are starting couple counseling and we will see how that goes. Its been a heck of an emotional rollercoaster with him.. including drugs ( on his part), him lying, leaving, walking out on me. ANd I think I stay because he is the provider in our family. I do LOVE him but don't know if the love is strong enough to stay around any longer.

[Chery]

Keep on trucking.

Evidently, no matter what we suggest, you will continue on this trip. You never stopped and even children and a man you've been with for 10 years don't matter as much as he does. So what exactly do you want to hear from us? I'm not judging, just stating a fact and if it's approval you want, sorry, but you don't need mine.

You have to decide what you are really missing in your life - and it might not really be this guy, but you need to do some inner research and decide what you need in life that you are not getting. You were not sure then, and you are not sure now. It must be a frustrating life dear.

Good luck on your search.

[erin7799]

How would you feel if your children's father went to see his ex? Just because there's no sex taking place doesn't make it right. There is a thing as an emotional affair. Be Careful. If he finds out that you're talking to your ex how would your kids father feel? Would he think it's OK because you're just talking? Be careful not to compare the 2. It sounds like that's what's happening. Just be careful!

[N0help4u]

Well you need to leave the other guy in the back burner and not pursue anything until you know for sure what way things are going with the guy you are with. It is never good to complicate things that will make it appear like you dumped him because you were seeing somebody else or look like he is the rebound.
The best way is to work through things without the outside influence and with a clear head.

[talaniman]

Take care of your 10 year mess, before you jump into another mess.

[joeoconnell2008]

Well I'm in love wit one of my ex's now.
But I'm in a good relationship.
So I'm keeping all my feelings away

So you need 2 forget about him and think about your children.

Because they mean more then anything in the world to you


But if not then there is no hope for you and you are a bad person.

I'm not tryinng to be mean.
This is my point of view.

Take it or leave it.

I hope I helped in your decision.

[joeoconnell2008]

Sorry I only read another one of your comments.

U should leave that drug addict.

Not for you but for your children.

Or at least leave him no if he don change that you will leave him.

And

I hope you make the right decisions in life.