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unclejohnny · Apr 4, 2006, 03:50 PM

I have a problem. I listened to some false rumors six years ago in high school and broke a dear friends heart. I never got over my frustration for acting hasty. Now, after calling every person in the phone book with her last name and looking on whitepages on the net, I've finally found her. I have joined an internet community called myspace.com and sent messages to her personal box on myspace, but I just can't get anything back. Was I being a fool for thinking that she would want to forgive me?:(

CaptainForest · Apr 4, 2006, 03:55 PM

Perhaps.

Sometimes people don't want to get over these things.

Send her the message, saying in the first line you are sorry.

If she doesn't want to accept it/communicate with u, so be it…at least u tried.

DrJ · Apr 4, 2006, 04:49 PM

It sounds like this was a long time ago... I imagine it was painful for her. She may be thinking that you are apologizing now but wonders if you would act the same again. She likely feels that you nevr trusted her and why would you now?

You may want to address and acknowledge these issues when you contact her. You acted like an ***. Cop up to it.

fredg · Apr 5, 2006, 05:23 AM

Hi, uncle,
Are you sure this person even remembers you?
There is possibility this person doesn't even remember you.
At any rate, you have done all you.
Put it behind you, maybe not listen to "gossip" again and take it as truth, and move on.

AKaeTrue · Apr 5, 2006, 10:07 AM

Hi,
Are you telling this person who you are, or are you simply trying to get a response first?
The thing with myspot.com is that a hundred people can send you messages, the board gets overwhelming and people stop checking their messages. Is there any recent activity from her (last time she updated her page?)
If you want your message to stick out use - Your Name (first and last) is trying to get in touch with Her Name.
Good luck
-Kae

kp2171 · Apr 5, 2006, 10:59 AM

Well... unfortunately there is a difference in wanting forgiveness and in being sorry.

Your sincere apology might have been something she needed to hear, even if it had been such a long time ago. I once did a similar thing, digging through phone #s until I found someone who I had treated badly after a person close to me had died. I was just out of my head, but she deserved to be treated more kindly than I had acted.

The forgiveness part... she just may not be ready. That doesn't make you feel better, but that's just how it is.

Best thing you can do is sincerely apologize and then be done.

Expecting anything more from her is selfish and takes away from the act of coming clean. The act alone needs to be enough. If she comes around, great. But you should not expect to be absolved.

s_cianci · Apr 8, 2006, 05:35 PM

It was certainly worth a shot. Have you come right out and admitted your mistakes and asked her to forgive you? Unfortunately some people bear grudges to the extreme. If that's the case, then you may never be able to get anything from her. You were right to try and hope for the best. It sounds like you learned some valuable lessons along the way when it comes to listening to and acting upon gossip. Maybe she'll eventually come around yet. Hang in there, learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them.

unclejohnny · Apr 24, 2006, 07:47 PM

I have a photo uploaded on myspace.com, she has read every message I've sent her, she beat the automated CEO friend that adds himself as soon as you sign up, and she has seen that it is truly me, so I guess I've got to move on... I now have an account at singlesnet.com

Thank you very much

kp2171 · Apr 24, 2006, 08:00 PM

Moving on isn't fun, but when it's the right thing to do...

... well, it's the right thing to do.

At least you know you put yourself back out there and aren't going to wonder if... id ALWAYS rather know reality. I can deal with reality. Sounds like you are doing that too. Good luck.

fredg · Apr 25, 2006, 05:18 AM

Hi,
Congratulations on being able to move on. It's sometimes hard, as I experienced with a Divorce after being married for 7 yrs, many years ago. Took me a year before I could start seeing others.
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

unclejohnny · Apr 25, 2006, 05:49 PM

Thank you all for your support.

didee · Jun 23, 2006, 10:29 PM

Sounds as though you're trying to hook up with someone from your past just because it's easier thatn meeting someone new. I've done that & it is not the right way to go... the past is the past - especially seeing that she is showing no interest. Try to meet someone through friends - at least someone will know all about them... it's safer that way. You sound lonely

Stormy69 · Jun 24, 2006, 01:49 AM

It's very likely that SHE has moved on and doesn't want a painful reminder from the past. You tried and she knows you are sorry. Good luck in your future endeavors.