[susan6090]

Hi, I don't know where else to start then actually telling you step by step what has been going on in my live. I was born in 1973 in Germany and everything went well until one day in August of 1987 where I was involved in a serious Car / Moped accident, I was the driver of the Moped and missed a Stop sign. I have NO memory of the accident at all, but some strange clips of watching myself being rolled in to the Hospital. I luckily survived with a fracture of 7 ribs right along my backbone, 2 broken ribs on the other side, broken leg a lung injury, scrapes and burns and 1 week in coma. The Doctors didn't know if I was going to survive for the first 2 days but things got better quickly. Everyone said this to be a miracle and that I had an Angel. My sister sitting behind me on the Moped was very lucky and only needed 3 stitches on her foot.
The second time was in July of 1998 where I was pregnant with my son and I had an placenta privia which was very serious and life dangerous for me and my baby. I felt like in a trance. A Helicopter was ordered to fly my in a Hospital with the capability to take care of me. As we arrived there I heard the Pilot of the Helicopter say that we broke the record time. I was hospitalized there for over one month and my son was born at 28 weeks weighing 2lbs and 14oz. My son was called a miracle baby, he was breathing on his own and was kept in an Incubator for only 3 weeks to keep his temperature up. He came home only 4 weeks after he was born without a Monitor weighing 4lbs. He is now 9 years and has never had any health problems. In August of 2006 I was trying to cover a leak on my roof. As I was trying to step from the latter onto the roof the latter tipped backwards and I had nowhere to hold onto. A rush of memories and I knew I was going to be seriously injured or I was going to die. I fell with a very hard thump and it knocked the last bit of air out of me, but I was alive!! Not knowing how bad it was I was waiting for help. Hours later, X-rays and scan the doctor came in to give me good and bad news. The good news was that I was not going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life and the bad news was that I had a Compression fracture in my backbone. It was a long and painful healing process, I decided not to have a back surgery and I was haunted by panic attacks for quite some time. About 3 months after the accident I felt like myself again and never felt any pain since. I have started to receive premonitions in 2000 as we moved and I knew something very bad was going to happen as we where driving down a mountain in Tennessee with a U-Haul. I was begging my husband to pull of the road, but he was not listening. My fear turned into panic that my husband almost got mad at me and he finally at the last second pulled of the road. The exit ramp was uphill which
saved our lives because the breaks on the U- haul where not working. We called the U-haul people and they promised to be on their way. 2 hours later the guy arrived telling us about this accident involving 18 cars and semi trucks that happen almost at the same time we had pulled of the road. Both sides of the road where shut down. I knew I had a calling, I just can't explain it! Dreams come true, telepathic messages... and on it goes.I had several sensations since, including the Tsunami. I'm very serious to figure out what is going on with me and how... to pursue!!
Somebody please give me a good advice. I'm looking for good material to read. Names of books or Authors will be greatly appreciated.

[Alder]

Hi, Susan!

I have been a Dreamer, that is, dreaming true, all my life. Like you I had a dream about the Indonesian Tsunami the night before it happened. Hmm. I'm trying to think of a good book on the subject--there are zillions of them, in many different paradigms and speaking from many different cultural and ethnic pathways. If that's how you prefer to learn--from books--well, all I can say is keep exploring and feel free to say "Who dreams this dream?" or "I'll take what I like and leave the rest." There are books from a shamanic perspective like Michael Harner's Way of the Shaman, and books from a Goddess/Wiccan/call-it-what-you-will perspective like Starhawk's The Spiral Dance. There's lots and lots of material from Eastern (Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, Zen) pathways, and lots of good Native American (although that's kind of contentious--many Native Americans consider this wisdom to belong to the tribe and its elders, and object to those who publicize it, especially for profit).

I used to be a real bookworm and intellectual, but in the seven or so years that I've been studying and practicing shamanism (for lack of a better term) and related spiritual disciplines, I've found that books just don't do it for me any more. I prefer direct experience and interacting directly with other people with gifts like this. As Ken Kesey once said, "I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismograph!" ;) So, I hope this thought is some comfort to you: You are not alone. There are lots and lots of people in the world with psychic gifts of various sorts, and more and more people are waking up to their talents all the time. It's a fun time to be alive and doing this kind of work.

With you, this started because you "brushed against the Gateway" as I'd put it. You do have an innate talent for it, too, but it was activated when you came close to death. That leaves its mark on a person, if they have a very traumatic injury or close call, or for instance if someone is close (physically and emotionally) to a dying person or attempts suicide themselves. Now that I've had some training and what I do is no longer a wild talent but a practiced art and science, I can often sense when I meet someone if they have that shadow around them of having come close to the Gateway. Try not to be frightened. It's not a bad thing. Death itself is not a bad thing, and as you come to experience your connectedness to the universe around you, you will understand that on a very deep, physical level. Your brush with death is just a rather loud wake-up call for your psychic self, that leaves you "open" to receive the energy flowing around you. And since you have a talent for it, even without training you have already begun to use it in a way that benefits and protects you and your family. How neat is that!

There's a passage in the Tao Te Ching that I often apply to this situation:

The sage [enlightened person] goes about without fear of tiger or rhinoceros.
He will not be wounded in battle.
For in him the tiger can find no place to put its claws; the rhinoceros has no place to put its horn.
He has no place for death to enter.

The sage/mage is one who has it all together, who has a basic wholeness of spirit. But paradoxically this doesn't mean being full of oneself. It also means being an empty vessel to be filled with the will of the Divine (however you understand the Divine). But the sage/mage doesn't have any soul pieces missing, any open gaps. Right now, it sounds like the experiences you had left you with some gaps, and it is through these that you are suddenly receiving sparkles of energy that you were closed to before the trauma. Perhaps you even have soul pieces that are missing, and could be retrieved by a talented spiritual practitioner who does this kind of work.

By which I'll finally get around to giving you the best answer I can: Books are great, but you may want to get a live human teacher to work with. I say "human," because you will likely soon start learning from much better teachers, whether you call them spirit guides or power animals or guardian angels. But you know what they say, to err is human! There are good teachers and lousy teachers, and lots of con artists (sometimes called "plastic shaman" or "plastic gurus") out there, no matter what pathway strikes your fancy. Here are some good rules of thumb to pick a good teacher:

1. Pick someone who has it together in his/her personal life, and who shows a very strong sense of honesty in all aspects of his/her life.

2. Look for someone who isn't afraid to talk him/herself out of a job. You want someone who will teach you to fish, not give you a fish; someone who will help you find your own creativity and ability, not someone who will make you ever more dependent on him or her.

3. Look for someone who is just willing to show up and create a safe and sacred space for you to discover your own way for yourself, not someone who insists you do everything according to his rules.

4. Great teachers have a sense of humor. Though they know what they are doing is important and take it seriously, their approach has a lighthearted playfulness to it. They don't take themselves too seriously.

I've been lucky to have a good teacher, who has become a close friend. His name is David Lang, and he lives in Eugene, Oregon. He does this stuff as his full-time day job. His website is Urban Shamanism and Shamanic Healing with David Lang, if you want to check him out.

Well, it sounds like you've gotten yourself started on an interesting adventure, and I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see you end up as a great healer and all around wise and witchy woman some years down the road! ;) Have fun!

Blessings of the Lady,

Alder