[polishbabii]

I'm 18 years old and still a virgin. I want my "first time'' to be "special" but whenever i say that my friends kinda make fun of me. They say that your first time should be special but it just doesnt really work like that these days. Since usually kids have sex at like 15 now its so crazy. I just wanna know if its normal that i still want my first time to be "special"??

[lmangileri]

You should be laughing at your friends, honestly. Of course it's normal for people to want their first time to be special.

[J_9]

It's very honorable that you want your first time to be special. Don't let your friends make fun of you. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Just as an FYI... On Friday, I have to induce labor on a 14 year old. Keep your priorities straight.

[Sonador101]

j-9 you are comp[letely right.
(inducing labor 14 year old that is so so sad)

[smoothy]

Don't let your dumb friends influence your actions... its your life and you only lose your virginity once. Why not have it exactly at the point YOU feel is right. Even if that is at 40 its nobodies business but your own.

[Choux]

My advice is that you *not* have sex while you are in your teens.

I think it is normal for girls to Romanticize sex and have a lot of notions about sex and men that are incorrect, and as I said, Romanticized, not real... as in waiting for their Prince Charming.

It has been a terrible thing in my opinion, that so many teens have had sex, oral, watched porn, and done all kinds of "kinky" sexual stuff when *THEY ARE TOO YOUNG*... it seems like it is too difficult to repair the damage, and sex lives are poisoned.

Sex is not just an automatic pleasurable exercise for women. After reading lots of posts here on the Sexuality Board, you will see that there is a lot of misery out there experienced by young women who had sex too young and for the wrong reasons.

Think 21!

[blackblue]

Would you rather be fresh and clean or a worn out whore?

[hollylovesbrandon]

OK I think that last comment was a little harsh, but I do understand where blackblue is coming from. When I was 16... one month from 17, I lost my virginity to the completely wrong guy at the completely wrong time. I had just lost my mother to cancer and started doing a bunch of stupid sh;t that was a mistake. I was drinking and trying to prove myself to my friends (who were all skinnier and I thought prettier) that I could get a man. I won't say I regret it because I try to regret nothing I have ever done... but I do look back on it a lot and think " what was i thinking?" I met the man that is now my husband about a month later... he lost his virginity to me (at the age of 17). I only wish that I had the same "special gift" to give to him. Although he didn't care, it bothered me.

So basically my advice is, your friends need to realize that just because sex is something "everyone does" doesn't mean that they should just do it on a whim... because I promise there will be a day when they wish they hadn't done it then, with him or her, at that time, in that place. Tell your friends that you don't want to be like everyone else. You are your own person with your own thoughts and personality. You CAN think for yourself. When they laugh at you just laugh right back at them... when they ask why just say, "oh, no reason."

[charlotte234s]

Why would you NOT want your first time to be special?


My first time was special, and everyone's should be, otherwise they are not making good choices...

[InkByte]

OK, this is going to sound old-fashioned, but my first time was with my wife on our wedding night (her's too). We have ONLY been with each other for over 20 years now. Sure, it was awkward and fumbling, but it's not the only thing we share in our marriage with ONLY each other. We share the happiness and the sadness and the thrills and the spills.
But, even now, we look in each other's eyes and know that our love is constant, strong, and vibrant.
That is my choice; it doesn't have to be yours, but I have never been happier!!

Good luck!!

[loserlegendr]

I am 19 and still one you are not alone. Hey they tell me to work on my confidence you have a chance you are still young. Give it time and you will be in love.

[kp2171]

My first time was special because I was I a longish term relationship with a person I loved and cared for... wed started dating at 16 and both held back... not out of lack of desire, but simply not needing to deal with the pressures that come with unexpected pregnancy... my mother was pregnant at 16 and her mother was a young woman who put her up for adoption... so the hormones were wild, but we found other ways to satiate our sexual desires.

But when it finally happened, a few years (yes, years) into the relationship, it was special because it was with that person.

Now... special as in "mind blowing sex"? Not so much. She didn't know how to mentally be prepared and I didn't know what I was doing, so it was the common "felt nice but didnt shake the world" sex.

[jenna47]

Oh definitely wait and block out the negativity from your friends. Avoid getting trashed and doing it for the wrong reasons. Oddly like a previous poster (was one month away from turning 17), I too lost mine prematurely. I won't bore you with the details but that night became a huge scandal at school and yaaa didn't end up so great. Hold out for a long term boyfriend you can trust.

[Ichiyakojiki]

Aw ink, that's sweet.

That's one of the things I wish I could have had but I never never will. I wonder what's its like to be with someone you love, about to make the deepest physical connection possible
With both people having no friggin clue what to do! I wish I could experience that, haha, I think that would be the ultimate moment of innocence and purity!

When I lost mine I was already corrupted by how easilly you can get info about all that stuff nowadays.. Honestly, instead of enjoying myself, I was too worried about whether I was doing it right or not.


Definitely wait till it's the right time, or regret it like the rest of us lol

[Alty]

I was young, but I don't regret it. I wasn't in love with the guy, but I respected him and he respected me. He wasn't a virgin, I won't say he really knew what he was doing, who does at 17, but he was gentle and kind, and I have fond memories of that night.

Having said that, wait for that special person to come along, that's all I regret, because, like I said, I wasn't in love, lust yes, love, no. Wait, there's no harm, there's no right age to lose your virginity, just wait and see. You'll know when the time and person are right.

Good luck.

[smoothy]

I lost mine at 15 to a girl 14. Did I regret it? No... but then I'm a guy. Everyone is unique. If you want it to be special then wait for that special person. Do not do something just because some idiot friends think you should. Very few of your current friends are going to still be there in 5 or even 10 years. You do what is right for you, and only on Your time schedule.

Its your body and its your life. Make the most of it.

[SweetDee]

I completely agree that the first time should be special. I also am TOTALLY sure that the friends that you have that are no longer virgins had a very UNSPECIAL experience... and the fact that you are strong enough to hold on to your convictions and virginity IN THIS DAY AND AGE, (where kids are having sex already as young as 13!! ), is proof that you really are your own hero. If not you, then WHO is going to look out for YOUR best interest? I tip my hat to the girl that has the courage to stand on her own opinions even if it's not the most popular one! Be the girl that has a first love and a first "time" that is actually romantic and memory making. YOU GO GIRL! Xo ;)

[hjpan]

Don't worry. Your friends are crappy.

My friends said the same thing to me, but I disregarded their intentions. Sex should be for couples who are into each other. Unless we're totally animals...

[bigblue88]

That is great that you still want your first time to be special. Your friends will make fun of you because their first time was probably horrible and clumsy. Your virginity is something you can give to someone special, so that first time should be special. If you are worried about being prepared and knowing what to do, I would suggest sexinfo101.com. It has a lot of great articles including two on first time sex. It should give you all the info you need to make it good sex, but with the right person your first time will definitely be special.

[kp2171]

Watch the post dates please... the OP'er hasn't been here since 8/9 and isn't keeping the thread active. Doesn't mean new posts aren't helpful... but you might try to answer questions that are more recent, with OP'ers still present, needing your help.