[JasminOlivia78]

Well,

Ive posted before because I thought my great boyfriend was losing interest in me because he hasn't been calling much.

Well, come to find out he has been under a lot of stress. He got his car repo'd and they are garnishing his wages for a previous unpaid debt. Anyway, I understand that. But we made plans to hang out Saturday afternoon and go out to lunch. On Friday we arranged a time and place to meet. Well Friday night he went out with one of his buddies from church and Saturday he was supposed to meet me at 1pm at his place. He was a TOTAL NO SHOW! I called and called and he never answered. :mad:

Sunday rolls around and I finally get in touch with him Sunday NIGHT and he says he totally forgot about our plans Saturday because he was so busy shopping for a new car. He said he has been under so much stress lately.


NOW, I didn't get mad at him for standing me up, but how understanding am I supposed to be? I asked him Sunday night, if he wanted to break up and just concentrate on getting himself together, he said NO, I LOVE YOU, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU... well, guys I am at a loss! :confused: I want to talk to him about it now, but I know he is stressed about his finances. I am frustrated that he doesn't call me, I am frustrated that he has time for his friends but can't seem to make time for me, I am overall frustrated. An I being selfish? Am I being a bad girlfriend because Im ready to bail on my great boyfriend? :rolleyes:

Ive decided to stop calling him and not make any plans with him for awhile, is that breaking up without actually saying it?? :confused: He started being wonderful and now when we FINALLY do talk he is super loving and nice and says he will always love me...

I just don't get it. HELP! :p
THANKS!
J

[malice92]

Well J not an expert here, but have you tried telling him that your there for him that his issues are not unresolveable and that you'd like to help?

Maybe he feels unworthy to deserve such a great girl as yourself at the moment due to his failing fiancial issues?

-G

[Romefalls19]

He may be under a lot of stress and not wanting to ask for help. Us guys feel as though we have to be the "rock" and have a hard time asking for help even when we need it the most. Maybe offer to help him out with some of the issues you can

[talaniman]

If that's the way he handles stress, you better look out. Yes, back off, and take another look at what you are into, as life is full of stress, and a phone call goes a long way. That's just being considerate, don't you think?

Its a red flag to me, that stress can undermine caring.

[JasminOlivia78]

Thanks for the answers..

And yes, Ive offered to help out a million times and he won't allow me too. I feel like it's a huge red flag. BUT it just confuses me totally that Ive gave him the option to leave and he keeps wanting to stay in this relationship.
Ive offered to help, and I am trying to be supportive because I understand he is a man and wants to be the rock in the relationship, but what am I supposed to do. I hate to sound selfish, because I know its not about me.

Your 100% right, A phone call goes a loooooooong way! And I never want to put him as a priority in my life and its obvious Ive been put on the back burner in his..

Im going to back off, give it some space, And see what happens. Any other suggestions please feel free to respond and let me know your thoughts on the matter.
Thanks,
J

[starlite1]

Hi Jasmin,

I think you are doing the right thing here. You have offered your help, and have been really supportive. I'm sure your boyfriend does see and appreciate that, but for you and your well being, you need to step back from the relationship for now. Just give him space (even though he says that is not what he wants). You can let him know that you are there for him, but right now you need to be there for yourself. Hopefully in time he will come around.

[JasminOlivia78]

So, Ive posted here before because I thought my great boyfriend was losing interest in me.

Well, I guess I was right. Last Friday we hung out and he called me Friday night to tell me goodnight, and its been over a week and he hasn't called me at all since then. Not even once.

:confused: I Don't GET IT!! :confused:

We always seemed to have a great relationship. And now its over and I have no clue what to do. Ive FINALLY STOPPED CALLING,

I thought he was such a great guy, but if he was why would he do this to me and offer me no explanation?

How do I get over him? Ive never had a boyfriend break up with me before without offering me some sort of explanation. We have mutual friends he speaks to them, but just avoids my calls and text.

This is eating me up. Any advice would be helpful? How do I get closure? I want to tell him how I feel.
-J

[HeadsHigh]

You can't rely on him to give you closure. You'll gain this when you eventually realize that maybe the relationship wasn't worth clinging onto in the first place. Be patient with yourself and keep your pride intact by sticking to no contact.

[talaniman]

Sorry for your loss, but you will move on after the shock has worn off, and you accept that the two of you didn't click. Most relationships don't, to be honest, and we learn to cope with our loss, and live our life. Heal and be ready, for the next chapter of your life.

[basii]

Just from a girl I will tell you just go out , have fun , go on a holiday ingnore him and don't call him , and live your life , and don't make hi the center of everything , he's just a guy and trust me there are soooooooooooooo many guys out there that are dying for you .
Have self confidence , just keep your head held up high .