[1Mom2007]

Dss took my son away due to an accident that happened they say domestic violence.
And in order for me to get him back they told me I have to go into a domestic violence shelter, but I do not qualify for a DV shelter because I have section 8 housing and I told them that I am not afraid of him. So I was wondering is there anything else I can do to get my son back asap maybe another temporary shelter or something else. I live in Ma. And I have no family here my family lives in NY. So they can't place my son with my family .
My son has been in dss care for a month now the first 2 days he was there I went to see him and he had a big gash on his head and scratches on his face and continues to have scratches every visit I go to he is only 1 years old.
Please Help Me.

Thank You:(

[Nestorian]

dss took my son away due to an accident that happened they say domestic violence.
and in order for me to get him back they told me i have to go into a domestic violence shelter, but i do not qualify for a DV shelter because i have section 8 housing and i told them that i am not afraid of him. So i was wondering is there anything else i can do to get my son back asap maybe another temporary shelter or something else. i live in Ma. and i have no family here my family lives in NY. so they can't place my son with my family .
my son has been in dss care for a month now the first 2 days he was there i went to see him and he had a big gash on his head and scratches on his face and continues to have scratches every visit i go to he is only 1 years old.
Please Help Me.

Thank You:(

Have you enquired into why he has gashes, and scratches on him? First off what is the accident that started this whole thing? What is section 8 housing, and what is DSS? Who have you talked to for information about this situation? Who is it that you are not afraid of, and maybe you can leave the section 8, if it is a place. If it's a type of living arrangement, and you got it cause your not afraid of him, then tell them the situation has changed and you want out, and into a DV shelter. Do research on the situation, I know that's not easy when you are stressed and worried, but it is nessissary.

[1Mom2007]

Have you enquired into why he has gashes, and scratches on him?? First off what is the accident that started this whole thing?? What is section 8 housing, and what is DSS? Who have you talked to for information about this situation?? Who is it that you are not affraid of, and maybe you can leave the section 8, if it is a place. If it's a type of living arangement, and you got it cause your not afraid of him, then tell them the situation has changed and you want out, and into a DV shelter. Do reasearch on the situation, i know that's not easy when you are stressed and worried, but it is nessissary.

Yes I have enquired about the gashes they say he fell out of the crib Dss is department of social services (foster care) and section 8 is a housing subsidy and if I go into a shelter I will lose it I told them I don't care if I lose s8 but if I do then they will try to say I don't have a place to live with my son so it is damned if I do or damned if I don't

[1Mom2007]

Dss took my son away due to an accident that happened they say domestic violence.
And in order for me to get him back they told me I have to go into a domestic violence shelter, but I do not qualify for a DV shelter because I have section 8 housing and I told them that I am not afraid of him. So I was wondering is there anything else I can do to get my son back asap maybe another temporary shelter or something else. I live in Ma. And I have no family here my family lives in NY. So they can't place my son with my family .
My son has been in dss care for a month now the first 2 days he was there I went to see him and he had a big gash on his head and scratches on his face and continues to have scratches every visit I go to he is only 1 years old.
Please Help Me.

Thank You
:(

[N0help4u]

The longer you take to do something they are going to say you were not pro active and make it harder to get your son back. Even if your hands are tied they hold it against you. I don't know why having section 8 makes you not qualify for DV shelter but you can go to another one. What does your section 8 say about this? I am guessing they are saying that they want you away from your partner but will not accept just a protective order as good enough to get your kid back. When is your lease up? Is there anyway you can move and it be good enough for your case workers?
What are they doing to help? They are suppose to help you. Also don't tell them you are not afraid of him they use that against you in court too. If you even talk to him on the phone with or without a protective order they hold it against you. Ask them what you are suppose to do if you can not get in any shelter.

I hate how the system can take your kid away and put him somewhere where they seem to be allowed to abuse. When I went to visit my son in shelter I would see them abusing kids and then if you say anything they make it even harder for you to get your kid back.

[1Mom2007]

The longer you take to do something they are going to say you were not pro active and make it harder to get your son back. Even if your hands are tied they hold it against you. I don't know why having section 8 makes you not qualify for DV shelter but you can go to another one. What does your section 8 say about this? I am guessing they are saying that they want you away from your partner but will not accept just a protective order as good enough to get your kid back. When is your lease up? Is there anyway you can move and it be good enough for your case workers?
What are they doing to help? They are suppose to help you. Also don't tell them you are not afraid of him they use that against you in court too. If you even talk to him on the phone with or without a protective order they hold it against you. Ask them what you are suppose to do if you can not get in any shelter.

I hate how the system can take your kid away and put him somewhere where they seem to be allowed to abuse. When I went to visit my son in shelter I would see them abusing kids and then if you say anything they make it even harder for you to get your kid back.

What happened was an accident so I can't get a order of protection because then they will say it wasn't an accident they told me I have to get involved in services like counseling which I'm already involved in now but they are not doing anything to help me I found all the programs myself

[Nestorian]

Well, as hard as it is, there doesn't seem to be a quick fix to this. So why not Research, talk to what lawyers, social workers, consolers, and such that you can. YOu have the ability to find a way, and find a way you will. Trust yourself, you can do this. There is always a way, though we may not like it. Example, you want this done as fast as possible, well you may have to get schooling, a better home and job, it may take a year or more, but in relative comparison to some one else, you may be fast. YOu have the ability to decide what to do.
Peace be with you.

[N0help4u]

So they have you in one of their typical traps
They call it domestic violence BUT if you get a protective order then you are admitting to that but if you do not then you are open to them using it against you that you do not see it as abuse.
My old boyfriend grabbed my one son up so that my other son could not chase him out the second floor bedroom window onto the porch roof. When he picked him up he got a minor scratch on his finger and child services made a major abuse issue out of it. They said he should have let him chase him onto the roof and fight it out instead of my old boyfriend intervening. It is bad when you get mixed up with them and they damn if you do/damn if you don't with everything you do.
You need to call them everyday and ask them what are you suppose to do if you can not get into the DV shelter. They are suppose to help you because when they are involved they can get you to the top of lists and pull strings and get you in somewhere when it would take you months to do it on your own.

[1Mom2007]

Well, as hard as it is, there doens't seem to be a quick fix to this. So why not Research, talk to what lawyers, social workers, consolers, and such that you can. YOu have the ability to find a way, and find a way you will. Trust your self, you can do this. There is always a way, though we may not like it. Example, you want this done as fast as possible, well you may have to get schooling, a better home and job, it may take a year or more, but in relative comparison to some one else, you may be fast. YOu have the ability to decide what to do.
peace be with you.

I have done a lot of research and spoken to my lawyer they want to give me my son back its just that I have no family here or anyone and I can't move anywhere else because of this situation and dss doesn't care they don't want to help

[1Mom2007]

So they have you in one of their typical traps
They call it domestic violence BUT if you get a protective order then you are admitting to that but if you do not then you are open to them using it against you that you do not see it as abuse.
My old bf grabbed my one son up so that my other son could not chase him out the second floor bedroom window onto the porch roof. When he picked him up he got a minor scratch on his finger and child services made a major abuse issue out of it. They said he should have let him chase him onto the roof and fight it out instead of my old bf intervening. It is bad when you get mixed up with them and they damn if you do/damn if you don't with everything you do.
You need to call them everyday and ask them what are you suppose to do if you can not get into the DV shelter. They are suppose to help you because when they are involved they can get you to the top of lists and pull strings and get you in somewhere when it would take you months to do it on your own.

Yes I know but they don't want to help me they tell me to do all these things and they give they haven't given me any referrals I did everything on my own and its only been a month and a month that feels like years without my son:(

[N0help4u]

Tell them you want one of their books on your rights.

[1Mom2007]

Tell them you want one of their books on your rights.

Thanks

[cdad]

You keep repeating it was an accident. What exactly qualifies as an accident so that you can't be accused of being an enabler ?

[stinawords]

I completely agree with calif. Was it the doctor that turned it in? Because DSS dosen't just randomly go around taking every kid that has a scratch, bump, or bruse.

[Curlyben]

>Threads merged<

[1Mom2007]

>Threads merged<

The accident was with me not my son

[N0help4u]

Was it a live in boyfriend that did something during an argument?
DSS DOES make issues out of anything that happens when a boyfriend is involved.
They have even told me that it is okay for a guy to abuse the woman 'because they are married' but they apply different rules if it is a boyfriend, especially if he lives with you.

[JudyKayTee]

what happened was an accident so i can't get a order of protection because then they will say it wasnt an accident they told me i have to get involved in services like counseling which im already involved in now but they are not doing anything to help me i found all the programs myself

You aren't going to like this -

You have two choices here - get a protective order (which apparently someone thinks is a good idea based on past history) and get your child back or don't get a protective order, insist "it" was an accident and fight the system. You say you can't leave the area because of all this - all what? You can't pack yourself up, go to NY (where your family is), get away from the boyfriend (and the boyfriend appears to be part of the problem), get stable, get your son back and then see where you should go from there - ?

Your family doesn't actually have to be in MA - which I believe is where you are. Have they applied for guardianship (even temporary) of your son in order to get him out of foster care - ?

I don't understand why you are in counselling because of an accident - I hope you aren't choosing the boyfriend over the welfare of your son.

I think there is more to this story - I'm not saying the various child protective services don't go overboard. I've just done enough of these investigations to think there is more to this than we are reading - the mother has an accident and CPS takes the child? Hard to believe. I don't know how CPS got involved in an accident involving the mother - if I'm missing something, no problem being corrected.

[N0help4u]

Yeah trying to prove it wasn't abuse is only going to work against you because they only see that as you defending him and choosing him over your son. So thinking that not getting a protection order is going to help your case any it is not!

They see it as abuse and nothing is going to change that so in order to get your son back you have to comply with the classes and finding a different place to live AND getting a protective order AND following it. They could still twist stuff against you but at least you tried

[JudyKayTee]

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
Nestorian agrees: It's hard, and you are limited. You still have a choice! (hard and limited.)]


I don't know if you meant it this way but this is a very, very humorous comment - two choices. A hard choice and a limited choice. Very clever and I enjoyed it.