[simoneaugie]

My adult daughter (age 19) has moved out but is on my auto insurance. With liability only, it costs me a little over a hundred dollars a month. I agreed to keep her on my insurance if she contributed half of that amount. Our arrangement began 7 months ago and so far she has given me $80. To me, the $100/month is a lot.

If I take her off my insurance, she will have to get her own which will be about $150 a month. Should I let her sink or swim? She is ungrateful and nasty to me only calling when she needs money. She tells me lies all the time too but her actions should not affect my basic parenting should they?

[rsain2004]

You and I come from a different world than she. "Parenting" an "adult" is difficult. Sometimes a wilfull person can only learn to "swim" after they have sunk to rock bottom. You know her better than I... Is she getting better, or worse? I learned an Arabian saying from them once: "You must have sandals for yourself, before you can earn money to buy sandals for your family..."

[simoneaugie]

I see her getting worse. That's why I'm afraid to turn her loose so to speak. Maybe hitting bottom will get her attention. Sandals, good one. Mine are wearing thin.

[rsain2004]

I had a 37 year, 5 passport, career as an overseas contract worker. I learned that during the years I worked in the middle east, from Arab friends.

[jasking]

If she's ungrateful and nasty when you're being generous enough to pay for her insurance, be prepared for much worse if you drop her. However, in my opinion, dropping her is the way to go. She needs to learn to manage on her own, especially if she "bites the hand that feeds her." Sounds to me like, if she can't afford the insurance on her own, she needs to get a bus pass and face some harsh realities of adulthood and the sooner the better. The longer you support this continued bad behavior, the worse it will grow.

[Fr_Chuck]

If she is not trying, I would explain to her that she has one month to do right or she will be on her own.

[simoneaugie]

Okay, here goes, October is almost one month. She could call around and get something tomorrow. She got a raise and is now making very good money, yet I have only gotten 100. More.

[twinkiedooter]

If you like getting your hand bit every time you ask for more money (Heaven forbid), then go right ahead and keep dishing out the money for her insurance on YOUR policy. Have her get her own policy and find out that she will be paying her own way which can be quite expensive. Time to cut the apron strings. If she is making "very good money" now, what is your problem, mom? I'm sure you don't need her on your policy any longer than necessary.

[carriebearrie]

There is a catch that you may want to watch out for. I am a licensed agent in Ohio. If the car is in her name the Insurnce needs to be in her name. If the car is in both of your names then you can be on the same policy. But similar to husband/wife on a policy. I have had to spin off many kids off there parents policy and depending on the driving record and when they were licensed the price varies so does the discounts and such. Your best bet is to talk to your agent. If you don't have a personal agent find one to help it is the best way to get the answers you need. The other thing is if she is no longer in your household she is supposed to be on her own policy. On a side note if she is old enough to be on her own and pay her own rent and other bills then she should be responsible enough to pay this one.

[carriebearrie]

That good that she is on her own insurance wise. Will she still have the car or will you. The reason why I ask is if there is a lien on the car and it is in your name then the insurance may have to be in your name for the car. You would want to check in to that. If there is no lien on it but she still owes you for it then have have your name listed as a lien holder or interested party on the car. Doing that, you will be notified it it lapses or if the car it totaled in an accident then the money will come to you also.