[ascosir]

I've known my boyfriend for about 10 months now and have just currently began a relationship with him 2 months ago. I never was sure of getting into a relationship at all but once I got to know him I sort of fell for him. He's a great guy and I really care about him a lot. The problem I'm having is an issue of my own. I've already committed to a relationship with this wonderful guy but I keep getting this reoccurring feeling that I want to be single at this point in my life and don't know why.Its like I'm half happy, never fully happy. I can't seem to fully accept the fact that I'm in a relationship and it really isn't fair to my boyfriend. I find it hard to let anyone even know that I am in a relationship. I haven't told my parents or even my closest friends about him; I like to be known as single. He even notices that I am having some conflicting feelings. In fact he is the one who asked me about if I was battling with any feelings. I just want to give him the same care and affection that he shows me and ultimately be fully happy and accept my relationship.

Why do I feel this way? What can I do to put those feelings of wanting to be single behind?

[jessie525]

You obviously spend a lot of time together.. what you need is a little break away from him and then you will start to miss his love and affection he gives you and you won't stop thinking about him... but if you don't miss him , that just means you don't love him and you'll just have to tell him the truth

[JBeaucaire]

To change anything, you have to own the difference. If you want to get over the desire to be single, you do the opposite every time you're tempted towards "single" thinking.

When you see your friends, you talk about him. If you're tempted NOT to, you talk MORE about him.

Call you parents right now and tell them you've started dating a guy "a little" that you've know for quite a while.

Take away your backstop. Your inappropriate desire for the single title in the face of a developing relationship can only be overcome directly. You have to take away it's footholds and own your goal.

If giving you and this guy a real shot really IS your goal, then own it and chase away the other stuff as soon as it pops up. Give it no leeway at all.

Life is FULL of options. Your mind will always present you with thoughts of other possibilities. Maturity is about chuckling those thoughts away when you're working on something real.

And you will have to MASTER this ability if you ever want to get married and STAY married. People screw up their marriages daily over this very topic - the inability to chuckle away the foolish thoughts and stay the course on their vowed goal.

[N0help4u]

If you dump him to be single you could end up realizing how much you really loved him and it was a big mistake. I agree with Jessie you need some 'me' time to do things you enjoy, but if it is for the opportunity of meeting other guys then you should tell him you want out of the relationship

[JBeaucaire]

The OP has asked: "What can I do to put those feelings of wanting to be single behind?"

Do you guys have any suggestions that deal with her actual question, too?

[N0help4u]

What she can do to put those feelings aside
What is the root of feeling this way?

Look at the pro's and con's of if she stayed or if she left -
** If you dump him to be single you could end up realizing how much you really loved him and it was a big mistake.

Getting involved in activities that interest her
**I agree with Jessie you need some 'me' time to do things you enjoy
*when you are together make it a great time
*remind yourself of the qualities in him and what attracts you that you love when you get those thoughts
**but if her mind is on feeling left out of getting to know other guys anything she tries may not work out

[talaniman]

Many guys come here and are confused, when their partners are confused, and I tell them to leave them alone, and follow their own path.

To you, the confused female, make a decision, and stick to it, and be clear with your partner as to your reasons for your actions, and the feelings behind them, to avoid having a confused partner.

You may be trying to spare him, or yourself, the grief of a break up. You can't, should you decide to end this, and be single, but be aware, you could lose him if your wrong. Risk on both sides.

My suggestion is to take your time, to be clear on what you want, and follow through with that decision, and be as fair, and honest as possible, with him, and yourself.

We all pay the consequences of our actions, whether they are right or wrong.

[happy_jester]

What can I do to put those feelings of wanting to be single behind?

So that this question can be answered,I would look at the advice of "JBeaucaire"...

Your inappropriate desire for the single title in the face of a developing relationship can only be overcome directly. You have to take away it's footholds and own your goal.

[tolerance]

Is the reason for you wanting to be single have anything to do with any of your past relationship/s? The reason why I ask that is because sometimes if we have been hurt in the past you don't want to relive that and even though you want someone in your life, you feel that they might cause you pain. If that's the case, remember that everyone is different and is not the same. Therefore, you might not forget what you been through but you can give that other person a chance.

If its not the reason listed above, you know the only reason why you feel this way. Maybe you should write the reasons for you feeling this way on a piece of paper, and be honest, and see and read your answers. This will give you a outlook on yourself and if they are any issue you feel you need to work on, then do it.

I agree with the first poster, time alone to figure things out is okay. This will give to you time to see your true feelings for him. Also, know sometimes with you're with someone, you might want to be single, I do sometimes and I've been married a number of years, but it just a feeling. When I think about life without my husband, well its not good because he is my better half and I love him.