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    flossie's Avatar
    flossie Posts: 1,903, Reputation: 181
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #1

    Jul 5, 2008, 01:28 PM
    25 lines to make you smile
    TWENTY FIVE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

    1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
    Was God and I didn't..
    2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
    3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
    6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
    7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
    9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
    10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
    Medicine.
    12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
    13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
    17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
    18 . Procrastinate Now!
    19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
    20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance..
    22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
    23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
    24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
    25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
    Thousand times the memory.
    tinmantoo-2's Avatar
    tinmantoo-2 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #2

    Jul 5, 2008, 01:42 PM
    I plan to live forever... so far so good.
    softbalgrl1331's Avatar
    softbalgrl1331 Posts: 157, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member
    		  
    #3

    Jul 5, 2008, 02:29 PM
    #5 cracked me up :)
    Kudos buddie!
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
    		  
    #4

    Jul 5, 2008, 03:16 PM
    I loved 11 and 13 Flossie. Unless I stopped to think about the rest, and forgot to start again! LOL!
    KISS's Avatar
    KISS Posts: 12,510, Reputation: 839
    Uber Member
    		  
    #5

    Jul 5, 2008, 07:53 PM
    Hey soft:

    I have a correlary to #5.

    Life is a terminal illness.
    softbalgrl1331's Avatar
    softbalgrl1331 Posts: 157, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member
    		  
    #6

    Jul 6, 2008, 07:50 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by KeepItSimpleStupid
    Hey soft:

    I have a correlary to #5.

    Life is a terminal illness.

    Haha good one!!
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
    Uber Member
    		  
    #7

    Jul 6, 2008, 10:35 AM
    Some days #3 sure takes the cake...
    Sonador101's Avatar
    Sonador101 Posts: 298, Reputation: 14
    Full Member
    		  
    #8

    Jul 6, 2008, 10:59 AM
    He he he I LOVED 18!
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
    		  
    #9

    Jul 6, 2008, 11:28 AM
    #2. great example of my line being stolen.
    #6 It's not the voices that I hear in my head that scare me, it is the voices I hear in your head that scare me
    #16 I can't be over the hill I never even found the top of it.
    firmbeliever's Avatar
    firmbeliever Posts: 2,919, Reputation: 463
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #10

    Jul 6, 2008, 11:41 AM
    2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.:p

    3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me:eek:
    9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

    10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.:rolleyes:

    14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
    18 . Procrastinate Now!
    21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance..
    22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!:D

    Thanks flossie... I loved these the most from the list.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #11

    Jul 6, 2008, 11:06 PM
    Got to love some of those... nice one flossie :)
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