[orange]

Gee I hope I'm not posting too many questions about children and babies! I must look like an idiot. But I really need the extra support and I always receive such good answers here...

Yesterday my husband and I hired a babysitter for part of the evening, so that we could go out together. The babysitter is a teenager, the daughter of a friend of ours. I am a huge horror movie buff and I have a large collection of classic horror on DVD. Of course the teenager was very excited about this haha. I told her she could watch one of the movies from my collection after she put the children to bed. Well, she didn't put the children to bed at all, she let them stay up and they watched the movie with her!! Of course when we came home, they were sleeping and she didn't tell us anything about it. Then at around 1 am Shaina woke up screaming like I'd never heard her scream, and then Levi woke up too, absolutely hysterical! :eek: And then it all came out about how they watched the movie. We spent practically the whole night up with them, and they are scared to go to sleep tonight again. Ugh.

The really unfortunate part of all this is the movie they watched... it's called Phantasm (1979). For those of you who haven't seen it, the plot is, a 13 year old boy has lost both his parents in an accident!! Sound familiar? Then this alien "the tall man" is hanging out at the cemetery, stealing bodies and turning the bodies into slave workers for his home planet. Of course the boys parents were 2 of the slaves. Anyway. So now the children are worried that something like that might have actually happened to their parents. And 4 year old Levi keeps talking about the Tall Man coming to get him. They are absolutely terrified.

I am now resigned to having quite a few sleepless nights over this, especially given the nature of the movie. The timing couldn't have been any worse... sigh. Does anyone have any suggestions of what they did for their children after the kids had viewed a scary movie? Any help at all would be appreciated.

[RickJ]

Lol, I'm a horror fan too. Phantasm was awesome. I'm a huge Evil Dead fan too!

So occasionally I go too far in what I let the kids watch - and the kids end up like yours.

For the next couple or few days we talk about it a lot, remind them when watching other stuff how they're all acting. Pausing it to kind of 'point' where the cameramen are, the fact that there's probably a big crowd watching... then are sure to watch good funny kid stuff for the next few nights before going to bed.

Not deep phychology, but just some things we do.

[lilfyre]

I went through this with my daughter, I can not remember what movies it was that scared the snot out of her, but I do remember explaining that it was just a movie and people in it were acting and them we had movie marathons of Walt Disney for a week or so afterwards.

I would make it clear to the sitter what had happened because of her disregard to your request.

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, we all "slip" and you are just learning. Yes this will freak them out and hopefully they will get over it in a few days ( I do have to admit there was a movie I watched as a child about people being pulled intot he walls, I still to this day 40 plus years latter will not sleep next to a wall. So who really knows how any TV or movies will effect children.

When we got Nate ( our 5 year old now) I basically just got rid of any movie in my home that he could not watch. ( the other choice would be to put them into a locked cabinet)

But in basic welcome to the world of baby sitters also, normally the kids find out at a very early age they can take advange and do all sorts of things they should not do with a sitter there.


We often at 3 or 4 had nightly monster hunts in his room. And of course you can only kill the monsters, not the good invisible friends ( they are a treat too, esp when they sometimes turn mean)

Parents lean to live it seems without sleep till they kids get about 10.
Then it starts over when they start going out on their own.

[orange]

lol, I'm a horror fan too. Phantasm was awesome. I'm a huge Evil Dead fan too!

Oh cool, haha. Yes Phantasm is a great movie. And as far as I'm concerned, The Evil Dead trilogy is one of the best horror series ever made! At least it's one of my special favorites.

For the next couple or few days we talk about it alot, remind them when watching other stuff how they're all acting. Pausing it to kind of 'point' where the cameramen are, the fact that there's probably a big crowd watching...

What a great idea... I never thought of that! The Phantasm DVD is a special collector's addition, and so it contains hours and hours of behind the scenes footage of how they produced all the various effects, make-up, etc, on such a small budget. I think I will let them watch some of this footage if they want to. It might make them less afraid, and plus this way maybe I can get them as interested in movies as I am!

And thanks Rick and lilfyre both for the Disney Marathon idea. That's really great, too. I think I will incorporate both over the next few days.

I do have to admit there was a movie I watched as a child about people being pulled intot he walls, I still to this day 40 plus years latter will not sleep next to a wall.

Was that by any chance The Haunting (1960)? Anyway I own that one too LOL. I know what you mean about the movies staying with you actually. I experienced that with Poltergeist. I saw it for the first time when I was 6 and for years I was scared of TV static, clown dolls and big trees outside your bedroom window. I also saw David Cronenberg's Shivers when I was way too young, and I still remember the scene with the bathtub drain. I guess that's what I'm concerned about here, too. Hopefully the kids don't have a permanent image of the Tall Man etched in their brains! I can't imagine having to get rid of my DVD collection, but a locked cabinet is definitely a good idea. And I will have to think twice about letting babysitters watch my movies!

[fredg]

Hi, Orange,
Raising children can be very hectic, and the learning doesn't stop until years and years from now.
It's very normal for children to get upset, have dreams and nightmares, about a movie they saw. What do you do? Just wait for awhile, and they will get over it. Meantime, put a "lock" on your TV, cable, or whatever if you can, while you are away. Or, as someone said, tell the babysitter not to let them watch anything that isn't rated G; then be careful about that, too.

[Starman]

I saw that film and it definitely isn't suited for children or even for some sensitive adults for that matter. Some baby-sitting teenagers have to be instructed very carefully or else they might conclude that putting the kids to bed first is optional regardless of instructions given. Also, some children vehemently refuse to be put to bed, especially if the TV is on and a show which might seem interesting is about to come start. It's like saying "GO to sleep while I have fun."

About getting over the experience, each child is different.
I was exposed to horror stories while travelling abroad with my parents as a child. When we returned to the states, I found that I could no longer sleep with the lights off and was constantly under tension when alone at home. Another child might have thrown that experience off easily. So it all depends.

[orange]

Thanks Starman. I actually fired the babysitter and now we have someone else watching the kids. The new person is a college student who is working on her nursing degree, so we're hoping she's a little more responsible!

My main concern about my children was that they just experienced 2 major deaths, only a couple of weeks before seeing this movie which features corpse mutilation and using bodies as zombie slaves. I thought it was really bad timing and might really tramatize them, worse than a horror movie on some subject that was not so close to home.

In any event, they are both still scared of the movie, although they aren't having as many nightmares. I bought a new nightlight for each child's room and in the 4 year old's room we check for the Tall Man every night, especially in his closet.

[Starman]

I believe you did the right thing in getting a more responsible person as baby-sitter. Your concern is certainly justified since movies can be very traumatizing even to adults. That's why a warning is given stating that the content might not be suited for some persons and that parental discretion is suggested. I recently watched the Chain Saw Massacre and regretted it since it left me with a certain uneasiness that I could do without.

Some persons who saw The Exorcist when it was first shown had to have psychiatric counseling due to the film's effect. My former wife was one who remained very nervous after viewing that film and felt that she would be attacked at any moment by an evil entity. Another more recent film, the Passion, though created with good intentions, had some viewers leaving the theater and others suffering through the whole violent display. If adults are affected in those ways how much more the impressionable imaginative mind of a child.


BTW

As a child of five I was left alone at home once after the recent death of my grandmother and I was horrified expecting her to appear at any moment. I was only able to fall asleep when I became engrossed with the floating multicolored bell-shaped lights that either my own fearful mind created in self defense or else which God had mercifully sent as comfort.

[orange]

I tried to leave you a comment Starman but once again I am getting the old "spread it around first..." message.

I agree with you, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Exorcist are movies that leave lasting effects on a person, regardless of age. I haven't seen Passion of the Christ but I'm not really interested in seeing it, either. It's not because I'm not Christian; I actually really enjoyed the old Jesus of Nazareth series and have seen it more than once. I've just heard so much about Passion being violent, and I'm not enamoured with idea of having those violent images permanently etched on my brain!

[Nez]

You've all made some very good points.Talking about films,fireing the previous babysitter.Unfortunatly,horror is with us all the time.You only have to turn on the TV to see that.I once read that Sweden banned Tom and Jerry,because it was too violent!!
As Starman says,a child's mind is very impressionable.Just be careful in the future.My son is now six,and he is only able to watch "children's tv",but what do we do (parents),if a newsflash occurs,in the middle of a cartoon? You want to switch off,but often it's either too late,or too important.
We go on holiday this Tuesday,and are flying to the Canary Islands (Player de las Americas),and it's a four and half hour flight.This will be our son's second takeoff.We've both told him that all will be well,and when we hit air turbulance,like last time,it's just the air "rolling" over the plane wings.Last time,he was five (last September),and he was fine.It was dad "hideing under the seat".Horror does not just affect youngsters. :D

[CroCivic91]

I haven't seen Passion of the Christ but I'm not really interested in seeing it, either. It's not because I'm not Christian; I actually really enjoyed the old Jesus of Nazareth series and have seen it more than once. I've just heard so much about Passion being violent, and I'm not enamoured with idea of having those violent images permanently etched on my brain!

First of all, I don't like horrors at all. I can watch them with my girl once in a while, and I'll be scared to death usually, but I'll watch whatever happens in the movie... I'll have a certain uneasy feeling about being alone in a dark environment, but it'll go away in a couple of days. One movie after which I had the uneasy feeling for the longest time was probably "The Ring". "Saw" was a kind of movie that had a few disturbing scenes.

I saw Passion, and it was not that bad at all... I mean, there were some really violent scenes, some even so violent that I couldn't even watch it any more (like whipping Jesus with that sort of heavy whip with blades that ripped pieces of skin off him), but as soon as I left theatre, everything was fine. I wasn't scared at all, and those images never return to my mind "on their own" (like some images from horror movies). So, if you have a good stomach, do watch the movie.

[orange]

My son is now six,and he is only able to watch "children's tv",but what do we do (parents),if a newsflash occurs,in the middle of a cartoon? You want to switch off,but often it's either too late,or too important.

Thanks Nez. Actually we're lucky in this particular respect, because every weekday morning on Canadian television there something called "CBC Kids" which runs from 7 am -11:30 am, and features nothing but Canadian, British and American children's programs, all educational, such as Arthur, Zaboomafoo, Tractor Tom, Nana Lan, etc, and it's all commercial-free! So for those 4 and a half hours, as long as the TV remains on that channel, I don't have to worry about the children watching anything bad or scary. In fact, I often DVR the entire morning of shows for the whole week, and then play it back to the kids when they want to watch something. There's actually nothing much else that I let them watch at this point, other than certain select movies. They want to watch Dr. Who, but I don't let them anymore because they had nightmares last time!

We go on holiday this Tuesday,and are flying to the Canary Islands (Player de las Americas), and it's a four and half hour flight.This will be our son's second takeoff.We've both told him that all will be well,and when we hit air turbulance,like last time,it's just the air "rolling" over the plane wings.Last time,he was five (last September),and he was fine.It was dad "hideing under the seat".Horror does not just affect youngsters. :D

LOLLL. Have a great trip! The Canary Islands is certainly a beautiful spot. I have a friend who lives there. I think the name of the Island he's on is "La Palma" but I'm not sure.

[orange]

First of all, I don't like horrors at all. I can watch them with my girl once in a while, and i'll be scared to death usually, but i'll watch whatever happens in the movie...i'll have a certain uneasy feeling about being alone in a dark environment, but it'll go away in a couple of days. One movie after which i had the uneasy feeling for the longest time was probably "The Ring". "Saw" was a kind of movie that had a few disturbing scenes.

I know what you mean. For me it varies. Some movies I am fine with, but others really bother me. I tend to be more bothered by blood and gore, and less by ghosts and haunting type of horrors. For example, you mentioned "Saw" and "The Ring". Well, I thought The Ring was really scary, but it didn't bother me after I watched it. Saw on the other hand, disturbed me for a long time. I had the same disturbed feeling from seeing "Seven", "Frailty" and "Hannibal". Whereas movies like "The Others" scare me at the time but don't bother me afterwards. No blood and I don't get freaked out.

I'll consider recommendation of Passion. Still not sure, but maybe I will rent it one of these days!

[CroCivic91]

I know what you mean. For me it varies. Some movies I am fine with, but others really bother me. I tend to be more bothered by blood and gore, and less by ghosts and haunting type of horrors. For example, you mentioned "Saw" and "The Ring". Well, I thought The Ring was really scary, but it didn't bother me after I watched it. Saw on the other hand, disturbed me for a long time. I had the same disturbed feeling from seeing "Seven", "Frailty" and "Hannibal". Whereas movies like "The Others" scare me at the time but don't bother me afterwards. No blood and I don't get freaked out.

I'll consider recommendation of Passion. Still not sure, but maybe I will rent it one of these days!

Looks like we're just the opposite... I can handle blood and physical abuse, but cannot handle psychological abuse in the horrors :)

Knowing now that you cannot handle blood and physical abuse well, I'd withdraw my recommendation of the Passion :D