[JudyKayTee]

There's a conversation on the legal thread - criminal law/dating - that has wound around to underage drinking.

I am more than a little startled to find out that it's legal for an underage person to drink alcohol in Texas (with apparently no rules on the age of the child or the amount of alcohol "allowed" to be consumed) in the presence of a parent/guardian (including in public establishments).

Now I have been told that it is also legal in NYS to serve alcohol to your minor child in your home, in your presence (or the presence of a guardian), no age limit, no limit to the amount of alcohol. I would presume that if it's to the point of intoxication it becomes child abuse or endangerment.

I guess this really isn't a question but is anyone else rather startled by this?

I have investigated a handful of these cases - usually the "ex" husband or wife turns in the parent who served the alcohol to the child - and have seen the Police involved. I almost always work for the Plaintiff, by the way - if it makes a difference.

Anyone have any thoughts, good, bad, indifferent - ?

[N0help4u]

I would presume it could go into child abuse laws if there is a question on reasonable and moderate.
In presence of guardian... how many parents allow not only their kids to drink but their friends too. So also could create a problem.

I know many, mostly guys between 18 and 55 that are alcoholics because their parents encouraged their drinking Even put it in their baby bottles.

[ebaines]

The state of CT has a law that says that establishments can serve liquor to minors if the minor is with a parent. My sister-in-law went to Yale, and her father always liked to take her to Morry's for a beer even when she was underage. This is not a well-publicized law, to be sure - leave it to my father-in-law (a lawyer) to have found this loop hole!

Few states would prosecute a parent who gave their child a drink. In our family we allowed our children to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners (Christmas, Easter) when they turned 16. However, if as an adult you served alcohol to someone else's child you are certainly exposing yourself to legal issues as well as potential lawsuits.

[Rockstar714]

My dad used to buy me and my friends beer and didn't care if we drank as long as we didn't drive.

When I was little my parents used to give me tiny little tastes of whatever they were drinking.

I do see where it could be child abuse, but a lot of the times the kids will do it anyway if their parents say no, just like any other prohibited thing like drugs, sex, hanging out with the wrong crowd, wearing revealing clothes, if the parents say no, the kids want to do it.

[Shell_Lee]

I do see how this topic can cause a lot of issues. Yes, I think letting a child drink excessively is wrong. But this is where I stand on the topic (Please remember that this is my opinion and it is based on personal experiences)

I do not think it is wrong, however, to let your own child have a few here and there. Not every weekend or anything like that and also at a certain age. I grew up in Wisconsin and still live here. I also grew up and still live in a very small town. To many people in Wisconsin, social drinking is a VERY big thing. I believe that if you teach your child the responsibility of drinking at an early age, it is a very good thing. My parents did not. I was sneaking behind their back at the age of 14 and going out and getting stupid drunk. I was drinking LARGE amounts of alcohol. I didn't know any better.

I have a son that is 9 years old now. I have not given him any alcohol before. If he asks me what it tastes like, yeah, I might let him take a sip of my beer. Am I being a bad mom - I don't think so.

[N0help4u]

Many parents use the excuse that they would rather their kid drink at home than out drinking but if they are doing it at home they are doing it away from their parents too more than likely. If they keep it within the boundaries of the law then it is up to the parents being responsible I suppose.

[Rockstar714]

I think that everyone is pressured to go and drink and go to parties and everything. I never did because I could drink at home. My friends who's parents didn't let them drink at home all got DUIs before they turned 21. I think that if you teach your child responsibility with alcohol early on that they grow up with responsibility.

I agree with Nohelp that they are probably doing it away from home as well, but possibly not to the extent that they would if the parents said absolutely not and left that at that.

[excon]

Hello:

My dad let me taste his beer. He was WRONG. If you serve your children alcohol, you are WRONG.

Alcohol is a DRUG. It's a DANGEROUS drug. It's NOT for children!

I smoke marijuana. I would NEVER turn my children on to pot - NEVER!! If I did, and said so here, you'd ream me a new.. wouldn't you?? Oh, YES you would!

excon

[N0help4u]

Good point EX
MANY parents that will give their child alcohol don't stop there and include them in smoking pot by the time they are pre-teen and other drugs before they graduate.

[JudyKayTee]

My dad used to buy me and my friends beer and didn't care if we drank as long as we didn't drive.

When I was little my parents used to give me tiny little tastes of whatever they were drinking.

I do see where it could be child abuse, but alot of the times the kids will do it anyway if their parents say no, just like any other prohibited thing like drugs, sex, hanging out with the wrong crowd, wearing revealing clothes, if the parents say no, the kids want to do it.

Well, no question he could have been arrested for providing beer to underage kids who are not his own.

I don't agree with the "if they don't do it at home, they'll do it somewhere else" statement. Whatever happened to just say no - ?

[startover22]

Well, no question he could have been arrested for providing beer to underage kids who are not his own.

I don't agree with the "if they don't do it at home, they'll do it somewhere else" statement. Whatever happened to just say no - ?

What do you mean what ever happened to just saying no? It is still here Judy you sweet lady;) I have taught my kids that. It is a work in progress, and it doesn't mean they will listen when they are being hounded by others to do what they are doing. Many people teach their kids that still to this day. I tell my kids stories, I give them examples, and tell them there is a good reason for having to be of age to drink. I am known to bring out my teenage stories to prove a point (of course I switch the rolls of the people in the story) I am hoping my kids value themselves and their life enough to make the right decisions! I keep teaching them this every day. By having them do extra activities (mostly sports) but also camping, fishing, hiking, anything that sways them and is fun.

When they need to make a choice, I give them funny ways of getting out of situations or just walk away. I also tell them, when these kids that aren't strong enough to say no make a big mistake, they will be wishing they were the ones who said no. You got to tell the kids the trouble it causes, down to the part about throwing up in front of your friends, getting caught by your parents or your friends parents, and the shame it would cause to not only themselves, but to their family around them if they were to get into bigger trouble or have a deadly accident and have to live with it. I know I am going on and on. But it comes down to this, you give your kids the confidence and the information they need, then they will make pretty good choices.

These parents that think it's cool to be the one to start a whole line of messes, well, they should be given a string of classes to take if they are caught, including small scenes of what could and definitely can happen. If they love their children, then teach them the right way and do not settle for almost right. Teach them that it is OK to say no, show them in your daily lives, point out things that happen and you made the right choice, or if they did point it out as well. Also parents, you can say all you want that it is better they are doing in with you than with their friends, that is a cop out for you to be a friend and not a parent. Go find your OWN friends and become the mother or father you need to be, so your kids can be good people and strong people!

Did I even stay on topic one time? Sorry about that.;)

[N0help4u]

Yeah what gets me about the parents that say well at least they are drinking at home so I can supervise it don't realize or just don't care that then the kid is going to other kids homes and drinking with parents that do not 'supervise' in a responsible way anyway so how did they really 'make a difference? Just providing it for the kid on days he isn't getting it from the other parents.

[JudyKayTee]

What do you mean what ever happened to just saying no? It is still here Judy you sweet lady;)
to start a whole line of messes, well, they should be given a string of classes to take if

Did I even stay on topic one time? Sorry about that.;)

I edited your post but didn't change anything (because every time I try to cut and paste I screw up):

(1) Nobody has called me sweet in a very long time (I think since I was 4 years old) so I was rather distracted while reading the rest of your post; :D

Wonder what it would take to change my name to SweetJudy instead of JudyKT - then I could read it every day and convince myself it's true.

(2) Well, you were CLOSE to the topic - :D

[startover22]

I edited your post but didn't change anything (because every time I try to cut and paste I screw up):

(1) Nobody has called me sweet in a very long time (I think since I was 4 years old) so I was rather distracted while reading the rest of your post; :D

Wonder what it would take to change my name to SweetJudy instead of JudyKT - then I could read it every day and convince myself it's true.

(2) Well, you were CLOSE to the topic - :D

Judy, what I was really trying to say in all of that, is this...
When we have kids, it is our responsibility to take good care of them and lead them in a way so they can be good people down the road. Yours (not yours maybe but someone elses) and my preferences could very well be different while on that road. But never would I buy my children alcohol. They just don't need it. Sheesh, my kid can't even find his MP3player when we ask him where it is, I wonder what would happen if we let him drink;)
If you have children, it is your responsibility to be a parent. Bottom line.

Sorry for distracting you Judy, a small note of gratitude for what you do here is all I was doing.;) I enjoy reading your posts, they are so right on and you help me to understand things in a more clear sense and not just an emotional one. So to me that is sweet if there ever was sweet.

[JudyKayTee]

No, I got it - I wasn't criticizing you. I happen to agree with you. Couldn't resist poking you a litte.

And if the AskMe Board ever votes on whether I really am sweet, I trust I can count on you for a "yes"?

And, likewise, enjoy your posts - group hug, group hug.

[Choux]

What startled me is that in Texas it is legal to drive while drinking... and wearing a gun!! How backward can one state be??

Children participate in religious rites with their parents, Jewish for example, so there is no reason to fault that law.

[startover22]

No one should be drinking and wearing a gun. I would be surprised if you could drink and drive... even in Texas. I have never heard such a thing. Can you link me to where you saw this Choux, please?

[Choux]

I saw that a few years ago... there was a big todo about some of the state's laws and drinking.

[startover22]

As well there should have been a REAL big todo!

[startover22]

The Law in Texas
I guess it isn't legal anymore. Thank goodness!