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N0help4u · Jun 30, 2008, 06:37 AM

Like we have said you need to get out of the house and have a place to stay established before you can get a restraining order. You can't get a restraining order and then still be stuck having to live with him so your mother needs to talk to the police, a lawyer and the court about her best plan of action FIRST. She needs to file for sole custody.

It all rests in if there is a court order issued and finding the best way to go about things.
IF he does have court orders for your custody then it could be a bit harder.

ddotraisin · Jun 30, 2008, 06:40 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Again - why do you live with your father? Is it by Court order?

If it is this bad the next time you go to your mother's she should file for an emergency custody order - and you don't go back to your father's house. No one is going to come and drag you back if a hearing is pending. I do not see the Police getting involved in this unless you have been physically harmed.

Then at the hearing you tell the Court what you've said here and the Judge will decide what is best for you - the Court may very well appoint someone to interview and evaluate you, your father, your mother and then they will decide.

I went to court cuzz I broke a window and me + my mom wanted me to live with my dad the judge said yes my dad wasn't there, the most I can be with my mom is four days straight and can they change the custody on that day if I tell them what I told you if not then can I not go back to my dad's until the custody is changed

N0help4u · Jun 30, 2008, 06:41 AM

We understand that BUT you need to ask your mother if the court issued orders for you to stay with him.
If not she can possibly take you, get a restraining order and tell him that she is filing for sole support.

JudyKayTee · Jun 30, 2008, 06:43 AM

Originally Posted by ddotraisin

i went to court cuzz i broke a window and me + my mom wanted me to live with my dad the judge said yes my dad wasn't there, the most i can be with my mom is four days straight and can they change the custody on that day if i tell them what i told you if not then can i not go back to my dad's untill the custody is changed

Look, go back and read what I've posted - this is already been addressed.

I know you're upset but you are asking questions without reading the answer to the previous question. This has already been answered.

ddotraisin · Jun 30, 2008, 06:46 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

In one word, no. Again, if you simply file for a restraining order he will be notified of the Court date and then you will go back to his house and live there until it is heard.

And I don't think you have sufficient proof -

Why are you having difficulty with your Mom going back to Court and getting custody of you?

When did you start living with your father?

He pushed me though, so isn't that battery I've been with my dad 9 months I can't have him get the court notice because he'll be really mad at me and are you saying I have to live with my dad when he knows that I want to live with my mom I can't stay with my uncle or just stay at my mom's until the court date

JudyKayTee · Jun 30, 2008, 06:49 AM

Originally Posted by ddotraisin

he pushed me though, so isn't that battery i've been with my dad 9 months i can't have him get the court notice because he'll be really mad at me and are you saying i have to live with my dad when he knows that i want to live with my mom i can't stay with my uncle or just stay at my mom's until the court date

You can't prove he pushed you -

Read back over what I have posted: "If it is this bad the next time you go to your mother's she should file for an emergency custody order - and you don't go back to your father's house. No one is going to come and drag you back if a hearing is pending. I do not see the Police getting involved in this unless you have been physically harmed.

Then at the hearing you tell the Court what you've said here and the Judge will decide what is best for you - the Court may very well appoint someone to interview and evaluate you, your father, your mother and then they will decide."

ddotraisin · Jun 30, 2008, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You can't prove he pushed you -

Read back over what I have posted: "If it is this bad the next time you go to your mother's she should file for an emergency custody order - and you don't go back to your father's house. No one is going to come and drag you back if a hearing is pending. I do not see the Police getting involved in this unless you have been physically harmed.

Then at the hearing you tell the Court what you've said here and the Judge will decide what is best for you - the Court may very well appoint someone to interview and evaluate you, your father, your mother and then they will decide."

So I can get an emergency custody order and live at my mom's until the court date.but on the court date what if he says that I'm doing better here and everything do you think that they will let me live with my mom if they know that I'm am so stressed over this I could barely breath one day because I was so nervous about coming back to my dad's from visiting my mom

N0help4u · Jun 30, 2008, 07:00 AM

They should let you live with your mom until they determine if he is safe to be with or not.
If you can get into counseling with a psychologist and talk about how your dad scares you and the impact of his threats that should help too.

ddotraisin · Jun 30, 2008, 07:02 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

They should let you live with your mom until they determine if he is safe to be with or not.
If you can get into counseling with a psychologist and talk about how your dad scares you and the impact of his threats that should help too.

Can I do that at court because I know if I let them know how much he scares me I think I can live with my mom

ddotraisin · Jun 30, 2008, 07:05 AM

Originally Posted by ddotraisin

can i do that at court because i know if i let them know how much he scares me i think i can live with my mom

But won't he pretend to be good and like trick them

JudyKayTee · Jun 30, 2008, 07:07 AM

Originally Posted by ddotraisin

so i can get an emergency custody order and live at my mom's untill the court date.but on the court date what if he says that i'm doing better here and everything do you think that they will let me live with my mom if they know that i'm am so stressed over this i could barely breath one day because i was so nervous about coming back to my dad's from visiting my mom

You don't get the emergency order - your mother does. An adult of legal age gets the order.

No one knows what the Court will decide - as I said, they will review the situation, perhaps evaluate the 3 of you, decide what is in your best interest and that's where you will go to live.

What does your Mom say about all of this? I don't understand the change of custody over a broken window - how did you end up in Court?

ddotraisin · Jun 30, 2008, 07:07 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You can't prove he pushed you -

Read back over what I have posted: "If it is this bad the next time you go to your mother's she should file for an emergency custody order - and you don't go back to your father's house. No one is going to come and drag you back if a hearing is pending. I do not see the Police getting involved in this unless you have been physically harmed.

Then at the hearing you tell the Court what you've said here and the Judge will decide what is best for you - the Court may very well appoint someone to interview and evaluate you, your father, your mother and then they will decide."

How long does a emergency custody order last for

JudyKayTee · Jun 30, 2008, 07:09 AM

Originally Posted by ddotraisin

how long does a emergency custody order last for

It's not an emergency court order - it's a request for an emergency hearing leading to a Court Order. Then the temporary (for a limited number of days) or permanent Court order regarding custody is issued.

N0help4u · Jun 30, 2008, 07:10 AM

You go to court with your mom and tell them he is verbally abusive and it scares really bad.
Then they will probably order a counseling evaluation.
Your dad could come off really nice but you need to somehow prove he is not the same way at home.
Your mother should be able to tell them that he has a history of aggressively verbal abuse so they can see it is consistent with him.

JudyKayTee · Jun 30, 2008, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by ddotraisin

but won't he pretend to be good and like trick them

He will try - some of it will come down to past family history, yours, his, your mother's, who is believable, who has been in trouble, if any one of you is playing the system.

The Court is sometimes not real understanding when the child goes from parent to parent when there is a problem - that's why whether there's a Court order is important as well as why your mother allowed you to move in with your father.

ddotraisin · Jun 30, 2008, 07:12 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

It's not an emergency court order - it's a request for an emergency hearing leading to a Court Order. Then the temporary (for a limited number of days) or permanent Court order regarding custody is issued.

But I won't be with him until I go to court

ddotraisin · Jun 30, 2008, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

He will try - some of it will come down to past family history, yours, his, your mother's, who is believable, who has been in trouble, if any one of you is playing the system.

The Court is sometimes not real understanding when the child goes from parent to parent when there is a problem - that's why whether there's a Court order is important as well as why your mother allowed you to move in with your father.

My mom got a restraining order on him before cuzz he hit her

ddotraisin · Jun 30, 2008, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

He will try - some of it will come down to past family history, yours, his, your mother's, who is believable, who has been in trouble, if any one of you is playing the system.

The Court is sometimes not real understanding when the child goes from parent to parent when there is a problem - that's why whether there's a Court order is important as well as why your mother allowed you to move in with your father.

Thank you very much but can you tell me what to do step by step so I can send it to m mother

N0help4u · Jun 30, 2008, 07:33 AM

IF there is NO court order
She needs to get you somewhere safe
Her house, uncles,
Get an emergency custody order,
Take it to court and request sole/full custody
Have mom testify to his past abuse
You tell the Judge of his abuse to you
(her allowing you to stay with him could work against you because the court could want to know why she allowed it and why you were there this long)
All she can really say is that she didn't think he would be abusive to you too.
Have your mom ask about court ordered psychology evaluations.
Do everything the court tells you.

ddotraisin · Jun 30, 2008, 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

IF there is NO court order
she needs to get you somewhere safe
her house, uncles,
get an emergency custody order,
take it to court and request sole/full custody
have mom testify to his past abuse
you tell the Judge of his abuse to you
(her allowing you to stay with him could work against you because the court could want to know why she allowed it and why you were there this long)
All she can really say is that she didn't think he would be abusive to you too.
Have your mom ask about court ordered psychology evaluations.
do everything the court tells you.

Thank you but what if it's court ordered that I need to live with my dad thenwhat do I do?