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    girlyt's Avatar
    girlyt Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 29, 2008, 12:17 PM
    Dating a cheap person
    I date a guy who every time we go out, he tells me off and says I cost him too much. We rarely go out and he always holds that against me. He makes 10,000 a month to my 5,000 and he spends thousands on his daughter but not on me. He is plain cheap should I get rid of him?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jun 29, 2008, 12:19 PM
    He has set his priority in life with his money, if you want to go out and he does not, he you want him to spend money on you and he does not, sounds like you need to move on. But then what sort of money do you want him to spend on you, what is his other costs, people that make 10,000 a month often are spending 11,000 a month and at times seldom actually have money, so is he budgeted, does he over spend on other htings ?
    smearcase's Avatar
    smearcase Posts: 2,392, Reputation: 316
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    #3

    Jun 29, 2008, 02:32 PM
    It won't very likely get any better but it might get worse. Your last sentence tells me that you have already decided. If you are looking for confirmation, you've got it.
    westnlas's Avatar
    westnlas Posts: 322, Reputation: 25
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    #4

    Jun 29, 2008, 02:39 PM
    Dump him. If he cannot afford to take you out, he shouldn't do it. Nothing is more miserable than to go someplace with someone who constantly frets over the costs incurred. If you cannot afford to go, stay home ! I could not imagine wasting more than a very few minutes of my time with someone who acts like that.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #5

    Jun 30, 2008, 03:46 AM
    Cheap is relative to what people want and expect, but if he is not living up to your standard(s)
    Then dump him because it rarely does get any better like smearcase said.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
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    #6

    Jun 30, 2008, 08:42 AM
    Being cheap/miserly/spendthrift is, in and of itself, just fine. Raining crap down on someone else's head about is NEVER fine.

    This is the tip of the iceberg. While simply dating casually, this guy has already demonstrated a lack of tact and generosity with you(someone he's SUPPOSED to be trying to impress... ugh). I would expect this ability to deal out crap to you about his issues will show up time and time again.

    You don't need his problems aimed at your head. Next guy!
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #7

    Jun 30, 2008, 08:44 AM
    Where do you go that's expensive? And do you pay your own way?
    MsMewiththat's Avatar
    MsMewiththat Posts: 854, Reputation: 136
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    #8

    Jun 30, 2008, 08:48 AM
    I agree with what is being said. My first reaction would be to get rid of him. However, it can't be done solely because he "is cheap", "Telling you off" would bother me and be reason for me. However, keeping this in context of what's happening is important. Ifyou have been together for a long time and he is frustrated because you don't give equally, that might be reason to keep him around and amend your ways. It's never okay to be with someone that is abusive, verbally or otherwise. You be the judge... where is this relationship going? Is it worth saving or worth it to you? Have you asked him to stop?
    sd1025's Avatar
    sd1025 Posts: 98, Reputation: 11
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    #9

    Jun 30, 2008, 01:35 PM
    If its not fun why bother I don't meen spend money like water but if going anywhere turns him into a jerk what's the point
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    Jul 1, 2008, 06:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u
    Cheap is relative to what people want and expect, but if he is not living up to your standard(s)
    then dump him because it rarely does get any better like smearcase said.


    I agree - if you can't agree on finances (what is important, what is not) I see tons of trouble in every aspect of the relationship. I also would see problems if he belittles or criticizes you.

    Do you reciprocate or do you expect him to pay for everything? My husband made a lot more money than I did but on our second date, following dinner (which he paid for), I took HIM to a local dessert café and bought HIM coffee and dessert.

    He said in all the years he had been dating that had never happened before - he was always expected to pay.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #11

    Jul 1, 2008, 06:29 AM
    Also what some call cheap others appreciate.
    Like is he a McDonald's guy OR a family restaurant or diner guy and you are expecting Le Grande Chez Bourdeaux?
    Does he pull cheap tricks like excusing himself to the bathroom when the check is handed to him and not coming out until you get tired of waiting and pay for it?

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