[kandy]

Ok every one this is not kandy. This is her twin sister and I need to ask you something Me and this guy he is 21 and he dated my mom for a while and he lived with us my mom told me that we could sleep in the same bed and we did one nightwe had sex and it happed a lot but I fell in love with him and the way he made me fell then he went to jail and my mom broke it off with him because she found out about me and him and because she went to all girls so now he is single and me and him both want to date and I don't know if I should or not he never done anything with my mom sexualy so there for it is not that bad but should I date him or not I mean we will move to tx when I turn 18 but should I date him or not I do love him very much and he is what I want for the rest of my life so what do I do he told me we could get marryed when I turn 18 so we could be together so I need to know what you think

[Ademan]

You don't love this guy and you don't want him for the rest of your life. End of story. He cheated on your mother apparently, who he was with when he slept with you right? He had sex with a minor... when he's 21 no less... He clearly has no concept of moral values, and he probably went to jail for a reason. You're probably just infatuated with the idea of this older "badass" dude who apparently swept you off your feet. There are many better men out there... it seems to me you just don't know what they're like yet... it seems like this guy was your first time, for sex and even for a "relationship", the way you're acting about this seems really really like a little schoolgirl who's fallen in love with teacher or something... please, do yourself, your mother, and your family a favor and get interested in real guys your own age

cheers
-Dan

[samjg]

I agree! Do you love your mother? Would you like it if when you are a mother that your daughter had sex with your man? And ran off with him and got married! Think about the future of it... wouldn't you want your family to be at your wedding... wouldn't you want your children with this man to know their grandmother or family... you will be looked down on for this and no-one will except this! So if you really want a future with this man you need to think, are you willing to give up everything (your family, everything) for your own mothers ex boyfriend?

[fredg]

Hi,
It would be much easier to read your question, if you used some sentences, with periods at the end; instead of running everything together.
You are less than 18 yrs old? And in love with a man who was dating your Mom, then he went to jail? Is this the kind of life you want?
I really think it's more "infatuation" with this man. Love takes awhile to grow, to show respect, to care, and to get to know someone. Any man who dates your Mom, then has sex with you, will do the same with you, too. He will date you, then have sex with someone else, all at the same time!
Get out, meet some new people, and talk with other boys. Smile, listen to them talk about themselves, and you will make new friends in no time.
Forget about this man, and make your own life much happier.

[phillysteakandcheese]

Your Mom let you - her teenage daughter (17?? ) - sleep in the same bed as her 21 year old boyfriend?

Excuse me, but that sounds bizarre.

Maybe there is some context behind all of this, but on face value your Mom sounds like she is not looking out for your best interests.

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, bit my lip,

You don't cheat with your sisters boyfriends, or your mothers boyfriend or even your best friend boyfriend. And if you do, you don't stay with them,
What level of family reunion could this ever be.

First he don't care for you, not really he liked a young girl and sex, and is hopeing for more of that in the future (untill he gets tired of you and finds someone newer and younger.
Only a man with that sort of character does what he did.

Next you deserve better yourself, you did not say why he went to jail, what crime did he do, you don't need to be stuck with an excon either
(no offence excon *an expert here)

[DrJ]

Kandy's twin... you have to accept that you are young... you may be in love, but you may NOT be. No matter how much you may want something now, you are going to continue to grow and learn and you will want different things.

This might hurt, it might suck... but the reality is that he most likely DID have sexual relations with your mother and he is probably high-fiving his friends in jail for nailiing you both! You think that if the two of you got together, that he wouldn't be attracted to your mother anymore? Do you REALLY think that NOTHING will ever happen between the two of them? Do you have any sisters?? If so, you better keep an eye on the two of them because he will get major brownie points with his friends for tagging all three of you! What about when you get older and the next under age virgin comes along?

Look, it was fun while it lasted but there are much more and likely better men out there to sweep you off your feet.

Break it off with this loser and make ammends with your mother.

[letmetellu]

My best advice to you is to go to school listen to the teacher, try to learn how to spell or you are going to find yourself sleeping with all of your mothers boyfriends and waiting in line for you wellfare check to buy food for all the kids you are going to have. Please see the furture that you are going to have if you continue the way you are going.

[fredg]

Hi,
I forgot to ask a couple of things:
How old are you?
How old is your Mom?
If her boyfriend is 21, just how old is she? 30? 40?
Thanks,
And best wishes. I am just curious.

[Cgirl]

Kandy's twin-My best advice I can give you is EDUCATION! Educate yourself, do you still go to high school or did you drop out? If you dropped out, get your GED and get the heck out of your family situation, period. Why would your mom let you sleep in the same bed with her boyfriend in the first place! I suggest you get some work skills, educate yourself and stay away from anyone who has a criminal history, has been with anyone in your family, is over 18 and slept with someone who was not 18, or anyone who tells you they will change and you can move away with them and live happily ever after. Please take my advice, education is your ticket out of hell! Sorry to be so abrupt with you but you need someone to be. Good Luck to you, I wish you the best!

[DJ 'H']

I agree with CGirl - why on earth would your mum say it was acceptable to sleep in the same bed as her boyfriend? All sounds very strange to me. What about you? Don't you think that by doing what you did you probably did hurt your mum, even though she is in some way to blame. If I were you I would forget about this guy, he is deluding you. Everything he says is fiction not fact and isn't your relationship with your mum more important? I would try to work things out with your mum and concentrate on yourself and your career. Guys will come & go, you are still only young!!

[kp2171]

This is soooo wacked.

And I thought kandy had things messed up!

I'm really not trying to be a jerk (it just comes naturally I guess) but if your mother let her 21 year old boyfriend sleep with you then maybe that's why you girls are having these problems.

She might be a nice person, but she made bad, bad choices.

And he's sleeping with his girlfriend's (or ex gf's) daughter. Perfect.

This is a jerry springer episode.

I'm not sure there's a lot that our advice can do for you ladies. One loves a guy who beats her and sleeps around, the other sleeps with her mother's boyfriend. Both guys in jail. My aunt was abused by her first husband. I know it can be tough to get out of that situation. But you are looking right at the flames and stepping right into the fire and then you want to know what people think about it.

Easy. These are systematically broken, dysfunctional ways of thinking and living.

If you choose to live like this, and it IS a choice, DO NOT look back 20 years from now and wonder were it all went wrong.

The answer is here. its going wrong here. right now.

Do something about it.

[kandy]

This is kandy.my mom let my twin move in with her ex so i guess that she does love him or some bull s*it like that but if she reads this i think that you messed up real bad and my mom is stupid for letting her move in with him he tried to come on to me too but i could say no just like i done with my ex the one how beat on me so if kayla is reading this come back home where you should be

[talaniman]

My condolences to your dysfunctional family, All of you should run ,not walk to the nearest health care professional and get major counseling!:cool:

[DJ 'H']

My condolences to your dysfunctional family, All of you should run ,not walk to the nearest health care professional and get major counseling!:cool:

Total respect Talaniman - this is probably the most sound advice yet!

[kandy]

Im Kandy And I Am Getting Help

[kp2171]

You could also change your password so this my-twin-said-that stuff doesn't make your posts even more confusing. Make her get her own login id.

[DrJ]

Kandy's twin... that's great that you are getting help... but what are you doing about this guy? Oh and make sure you bring your mother to your "help" sessions, too...

[Wildcat21]

This is bizarre - he r mother was datin ga 21 year - and then let this guy sleep in the same bed as her 17 year old daughter??

What is going on her??

Then he went to jail??

Oh boy... must be Tennesee. "She not only my wife, she's my sister"

He slept with an underage girl.

At your age you don't know anything. This lust not love. You liked the sex.

This is so bizarre - I am glad I had good up bringing.

THIS IS EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. THE MOTHER SHOULD HAVE HER KIdS TAKEN AND AWAY. THE GUY SHOULD BE IN JAIL FOR A LONG TIME - MOST STATES THIS GIRL IS A MONOR.

[Wildcat21]

Yeah - I agree - this guy will always try and sleep with the mother as well.

This is just so sick.

What an up standing guy! What a prince! Guy to be proud of! Nope!