[swirlgirl]

Two years ago an older man, now 72, I am 55 moved next door. He was always friendly and was pleasant to talk too... he started mowing my huge lawn, most of it... we live in a rural area, and it took me several days with myself propelled mower to mow it all... well he was so kind and did it on a regular basis... I always thanked him... gave him handmade snow globe this past Christmas.. he sent me a nice Christmas card.. I also gave him plant this spring.

I never thought of him in a romantic sense, my 2nd husband was 10 1/2 yrs. Younger than me and my 1st husband was a year younger, twice divorced. He at 17 yrs. Older it never crossed my mind... til about 2 months ago.

What happened, was when I started to mow the part he usually did, he came over on his rider mover and got off, he said "Honey, you don't need to do that, you know I will" and patted my cheek... at first I just thought he was being a nice guy like he is... then the next time I did that (I never assumed that he would always mow for me, I never want to take advantage of anyone or take them for granted)... I felt so warmhearted to him for helping me... I have an adult mentally ill son, he is unable to help me with much, especially mowing and it was so wonderful that someone thought of me. I leaned over and hugged him while he was on his mower... it felt so good and I know he liked it too... after mowing we had the longest conversation we had ever had... as he was helping me take all the tree limbs and put them in the woods behind my house... as we were talking he said to me "It would be nice to have a kiss sometime", it caught me offguard and I said "Sure, sometime"...

We had several other nice long conversations over a course of a few weeks... then on Father's Day... I made my move, I know I owed him the kiss... I called him, and he was happy that I wanted to come over... he hugged and we had a nice kiss... he pulled away sooner than I would have liked... we visited and laughed... it was such fun, he is such a gentleman... we visited for about 2 hrs... he would also over the course of time make nice comments to me about my clothes, hair etc. t and hat he thought I was in my early 40's, of which I most certainly gave him a big hug for that!

Then when he last did my lawn I brought him some lemonade... he had already had ice tea he said, so I asked him when he would want it... in about an hr. he said... he had finished mowing by then, so went to his door... we had another wonderful, visit together with fun and laughter. We found out we have a lot in common.

Here is my torment... he has been widowed for 8 years... when I asked about any "girlfriends", he said no, he has had none since his wife died... I know he loved his wife dearly... when I left we hugged, but he was more hesitant... like he was afraid of his growing feelings for me... also to be noted, a lot of his relative live here in this small town too. He said it is like living in a "fishbowl". I told him we all have to "live our lives" and he agreed.

He has never come over to visit me on his own, nor called me on the phone... it is just in passing or I catch him when he is mowing... I did ask him if it "annoyed him or if he did not want me to come over", he was sincere in his answer, that "no, he is not annoyed etc.
We both "light up when we see each other", I can tell in his eyes that he cares for me and I know that my eyes must show the same about him. I am going crazy when I don't see or talk to him for several days....I know that I love him...but would never admit unless I know he feels the same. One other time he has called me "honey" also.

These are my questions.....is he afraid of starting a new romance? Is he afraid that it will somehow mean he is unfaithful to a deceased wife? I don't know what to do?? When I last asked him when I could visit with him again and look at his family photo albums, which we had discussed on my prior visit, he seemed shy and said "later this week".

I feel odd making all the "moves", is it because he is older and has never had a love relationship, except his wife?. he was 20 when he married and was married for 44 years before his wife died.

PLEASE ANY OLDER WIDOWERS OR FOLKS WITH ANY Similar EXPERIENCE.. PLEASE ADVISE ME... Thanks!

[simoneaugie]

It sounds like he does like you. It could be that his manly equipment doesn't work reliably and he is afraid to get closer. Maybe he enjoys having a woman dictate what he should do. You could tell him to give you a call on Thursday, or somethng like that.

I knew a couple with the same age difference. They lived in separate houses, side by side. They were the best of friends and helped each other with all the little things that come up. When the older man died it was really sad, but she was prepared for his passing.

You are going to have to express how you feel to him. The signs are all there but not the words.

[JBeaucaire]

You could remind him that you'd like another one of those kisses... sometime.

When it happens, and he breaks it off, gently hold him in and take a second one for free.

Try to have fun with it. "We should really think about doing that more often, it is very invigorating, don't you think?"

[ylaira]

Im only 25, I don't know what to say but this is one of the nicest story I've read so far!

He likes you but as you said he doesnt initiate contacts. If he likes you enough to take that "attraction"on a higher level he will work on something, regardless of what people say. The man is already in his twilight years and commitment at this point in his life is could no longer a priority to him. 44 yrs is long to get used to.. so just enjoy the moment but I suggest not to pin yourself into hope.

[N0help4u]

Has he offered to mow your grass since then?
I would let him make the next move and not push it too much. Sounds like he is getting scared off that he doesn't want to rush into anything or give you a wrong impression.
Many people that age do not feel comfortable about dating or getting interested in somebody else. I think it is because they were only in one (or very few before married) serious relationships. So they have a hard time adjusting to the idea of someone else, like they do not want a *replacement*. My dad died around 6 yrs ago and my mom (in her 70's) has absolutely no interest in being with another guy whatsoever.