[starcrush]

I meet a guy on myspace and he told me I can come visit him in California whenever?
Should I go for it ? I know he has 1 picture on his page... Is there any safety steps I should take... I will be staying at his house and he will pay for my ticket thanks

[Emland]

I think it is a bad idea. Why can't he come see you and stay in a hotel? I think it is very risky to stay with someone you don't know.

[N0help4u]

I agree it would be much safer for him to visit you and have people around until you feel comfortable. I have heard too many stories of 'the woman met the guy from the internet at a public place and he stole her wallet out of her purse'.
You have the disadvantage if you visit him because
You have no support of friends and family with you when you meet.
You do not know the area.
He could claim he is driving you to his place and take you to the middle of nowhere.

[JBeaucaire]

Plot for a very good movie. It will be either a scary thriller or a quirky love story. No way on earth to know in advance which it will be.

Step back a moment and YOU answer the question, but this time it's you talking to your 18-year-old daughter.

"Mom, I talked to a guy online and saw a Facebook picture. Can you help me travel 2000 miles to stay at his house and meet him? He said he'd buy my ticket."

What do YOU say to her?

[starcrush]

Plot for a very good movie. It will be either a scary thriller or a quirky love story. No way on earth to know in advance which it will be.

Step back a moment and YOU answer the question, but this time it's you talking to your 18-year-old daughter.

"Mom, I talked to a guy online and saw a Facebook picture. Can you help me travel 2000 miles to stay at his house and meet him? He said he'd buy my ticket."

What do YOU say to her?

I would tell her heck no

[DoulaLC]

I agree with what has been said... you need to be on even footing, or even better, a location that is to your benefit. If he is truly interested and cares, he will understand completely why it is a necessary precaution.

Saying all of this... I did something similar... met someone out of the blue online... BUT, the gentlemen and I had been speaking for most of a year, I had spoken to his daughters on numerous occasions, I was free to call him at home or on his mobile phone at anytime, etc.. We have now been married for 7 years... so you never know what can come from a chance meeting... but you do have to be smart about it.

[JBeaucaire]

See, it's HARD to do smart when the heart is whispering craziness in your ear, isn't it?

Flying across the country to meet a guy sounds romantic, but those scary movies start that way, too. You only get one pass through this life, and risk is part of living. But there's risk, and then there's HOLY-CRAP-RISK.

[zooropa1985]

He has one picture? Have you any other proof that this guy is who he says he is?

Take my advice, get the dude to go on msn, chat with him, get him to buy a camera so you can video chat and do that for a while before even thinking of going to meet the guy

[Fr_Chuck]

He is wanting and expecting sex, I will be blunt, I would require him to first come visit me, stay at a hotel and not have sex for the first viist.
**** unless you are just wanting a wild sex filled weekend

You don't go to their home on he first visits, you always meet in a neutral place, so even if he comes to you city, you meet at some public place, and keep public for the visit.

[J_9]

I meet a guy on myspace and he told me I can come visit him in california whenever?

How long have you known him?

should i go for it ?

This soon? Really?

i know he has 1 picture on his page ...

How are you so sure this is HIS picture? You know, pictures can be uploaded from ANYWHERE on the internet. Ever hear the song by Brad Paisley called "ONLINE"

YouTube - Brad Paisley - Online

Starcrush, you are playing with fire here. You are better off staying in Michigan and meeting a nice guy there.

[starcrush]

I been knowing him for 4 weeks now

[starcrush]

How long have you known him?



This soon? Really?



How are you so sure this is HIS picture? You know, pictures can be uploaded from ANYWHERE on the internet. Ever hear the song by Brad Paisley called "ONLINE"

YouTube - Brad Paisley - Online

Starcrush, you are playing with fire here. You are better off staying in Michigan and meeting a nice guy there.

I think so to I'm feeling a little uneasy about the whole situation

[J_9]

I been knowing him for 4 weeks now

And you think hopping on a plane to a different state where there is nobody you know is safe?

Hun, this is how women get kidnapped, raped, or worse.

[starcrush]

Well really I haven't done it before . But he seems so nice and he talk so positive about everything. He tells me I'm beautiful . I was thinking maybe he could be my soulmate.

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

I say he is a 65 year old freak...
And the picture he sent you is his grandson...

I wouldn't do it, ever. Not after 4 weeks and no, not even after just chatting with them online and I don't even care for how long.

IMO and I'm sure with most, relationships are face-to-face interactions. It would be almost impossible to establish any kind of stable relationship via online.

[N0help4u]

Get to know him WAY better and MUCH longer.
ALL guys sound as nice as they want on the internet
You have to weed out who is for real and that isn't always that simple.

[starcrush]

Thanks J9 for giving me the link to Brad's video called online . I just watched it.

[N0help4u]

I went to send this to you but your pm is full

What ways can I get to know him better if he doesnt want to put up more pictures and he doesnt have a web cam ?

Keep talking with him
Catch any inconsistencies in what he says
No matter how little or insignificant they may seem
Like May 2009 he says something and you remember
In July 2008 he said something else and it doesn't add up.
Check his friends on sites like myspace if he has a lot of
Sexual type friends on their rather than friends and family they are more likely a player type.
See if he will give you his phone number so you can actually talk.
Tell him you would rather he come to your town to meet and see how he handles that.
Ask him questions before offering what you think
Often girls on the internet will tell a guy something like they love camping and then the guy will say me too when he doesn't
If you let him bring things up first he can't sound as compatible if
He isn't and is just trying to say whatever to get you to like him.

[DoulaLC]

Get to know him more before you take the next step of meeting in person. Talk on the phone, continue to "talk" online, sent letters and cards in the mail, learn about his family, work, and friends, etc.. If he is your soulmate, waiting longer won't change that, it will only make you that more sure of it. I know many couples who met online, some on purpose to find a partner, many simply by chance... it can work out well, but it certainly can be a nightmare as well. The vast majority of people are normal, decent people, but you just can't take that risk and he should understand that.
If he can afford to pay for your ticket to fly to California, he can afford to fly to see you himself where you will feel more comfortable with family and friends around.

[moviekris0426]

Since he only has one picture, if you want to check out if he looks like who he says he looks like, try webcams (but if you only want to talk, make it clear!) All in all, you never know about these guys, I'm new to this myself, but here are a few rules I go by:

1) ONLY ONLY ONLY meet in public.
2) try meeting for something relatively brief the very first time (have a fake appointment or plan up your sleeves just in case for a quick get away if needed)
3) Have someone watching your back (meet with friends, arrange for a friend to "happen" to have dinner at the same restaurant, or at least have them send you regular texts to make sure you are still ok)