[SJB1701E]

Well after two months of being back together, my (ex)girlfriend has dumped me again. She says she expected things to go back to the way they were but doesn't feel like they are. She says she doesn't have the same feelings for me that she used to and no longer feels like I'm the one she's supposed to be with. I can't make her have the same feelings for me. I kind of had a feeling this was coming the past couple weeks but I thought it was just paranoia. I wish there was more I could have done but there wasn't. I did everything I could and still failed. I'm glad I tried though. Even though I had my already broken heart crushed again, I'm glad I tried. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I hadn't. I don't know what to do now. I don't mean about her, I mean about me. I don't know where to turn to what to do. The rest of my life feels trivial and unimportant at the moment. I don't know what to do next. Its over with her and I don't know what comes after. I don't know what to do. I guess its back to NC for good.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

Well you tried my man, you gave it your best shot and it didn't work out. No regrets right. You know what you got to do, you said it yourself, hit the NC hard and times will get better. You got one thing out of the way now at least, you know its over for good, so there is none of that hope that gets in the way. You're not alone, you have been here before and know how this road feels at the beginning. I am almost 2 months in right now and am feeling pretty good, just know with time comes progress and that there is a life after her. And put importance on yourself and your life, get busy and do things that are going to make you feel good. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, know you just can't see it yet because you just entered it.

[JBeaucaire]

Build something. Do something creative and constructive with your hands.

Buy a birdhouse/birdfeeder kit and put it together, paint it up nicely, fill it with yummy seeds, then hang it in your yard.

Now you've done some good. No, the pain hasn't gone away, but you were distracted awhile and did something useful with the time.

Adjust this technique to your situation / resources, but try it. Or something similar.

[jiltedgirl]

Hey SJ, I feel for you. :T

At least you gave it another shot. As NorthernNiceGuy stated, no regrets. In the meantime, keep yourself preoccupied and surround yourself with friends, even if you feel like sulking in isolation.

Best,
J

[f104]

You tried mate and I feel for you. Hang in there we are all pulling for you!

[starlite1]

Well after two months of being back together, my (ex)girlfriend has dumped me again. She says she expected things to go back to the way they were but doesn't feel like they are. She says she doesn't have the same feelings for me that she used to and no longer feels like I'm the one shes supposed to be with. I can't make her have the same feelings for me. I kind of had a feeling this was coming the past couple weeks but I thought it was just paranoia. I wish there was more I could have done but there wasn't. I did everything I could and still failed. I'm glad I tried though. Even though I had my already broken heart crushed again, I'm glad I tried. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I hadn't. I don't know what to do now. I don't mean about her, I mean about me. I don't know where to turn to what to do. The rest of my life feels trivial and unimportant at the moment. I don't know what to do next. Its over with her and I don't know what comes after. I don't know what to do. I guess its back to NC for good.

Hi SJ,

I'm sorry things didn't work out with her, but you gave it your best, and most importantly, you didn't fail at all. As far as what to do now, NC is your best bet. Keep yourself busy, and go have fun!

[talaniman]

Hello again SJ, Don't even get down on yourself. You had the courage to buck the odds and go for it! Maybe it didn't work this time, but that is the attitude that winners have. That's what real men do, go for it, and deal with the consequences.

Your right NC, and regroup and rebuild. Pat yourself on the back, for even in defeat, you knew what to do next, come back here, and start again. Life can knock you down, but its up to you to get back up.

[SJB1701E]

Thanks for all the support guys. I've been off here for a while because I've been really busy, but wanted to update you guys on everything. I had been doing really good till today. The Ex broke NC and damaged my calm. I've been working had to get a promotion at work, going to church for the first time in ages, getting in touch with old friends, and bringing my grades up in my summer classes. Over all I've felt pretty normal and been in a good mood. Of course things still get to me, but I'm enjoying my life as much as I can. I was perfectly content to never here from my ex again, but appearently she wasn't. I got up and checked my email today and saw one in my inbox from her. After reading it I was ticked. Appearently it had gotten back to her that a month ago I told some people I know I feel like I had wasted 2 years of my life with her. She sent the following.

"so those 2 years where really a waste gee thanks. you know im sorry for
everything that happend but you know what steven i did love you i loved you
alot. im sorry that i wasted your time. you have a good life."

Oh that ticked me off and I couldn't let it be and ignore it. She probably just wanted to get a rise out of me and it worked. I fired back an email listing off all the things she had done to hurt me cheating, lying, etc and told her I that I really don't think she has any room to talk about her feelings being hurt. I ended it telling her I really thought it would be best if she stayed out of my life.
She couldn't leave it at that and starts text messeging me at work. She tells me she's sorry for the email and that she doesn't want me out of her life. She says that she was stupid for leaving, blah blah blah... She wants to know how I'm doing so I tell her I'm happy and I'm doing fine. She wants to know if I'm seeing anyone and I told her I wasn't and waws just enjoying the single life. She asks me if I would like to meet her for a drink sometime and I said no. She got upset and said she wishes I didn't hate her. I told her that I didn't hate her, I just didn't think with our history a friendship would be possible. She said she understood but was upset that I wasn't really giving her a choice about it. I told her that she didn't give me much of a choice over the past few months either. I told her I was sorry but really didn't think being her friend would eevr be possible and said goodbye.
I thought I was doing good, but this has gotten me shaken up. I got to find some peace again.

[JBeaucaire]

Now, imagine never having seen that email from her in the first place? Imagine your unbroken calm.

Go into your email broken and setup a rule to automatically delete emails from her. Now, she can't get you that way anymore. Do the same thing on your cell phone.

Protect yourself.

[Romefalls19]

Delete her e-mails, don't read them. Change your number so she cannot contact you and let's start this healing process over again buddy

[HistorianChick]

Aww... I'm sorry for your twice-broken heart... but I'm proud of you. Not knowing the situation from before hand and coming in on the tail end of it all, reading this post shows me that you're going to be OK.

Do as Rome says, delete those emails (texts too) and don't even read them. From personal experience, they can only hurt your heart more and bring up all the old feelings when you think that you're doing great. Take care of your heart and don't have any more contact with her - even passive contact, such as written communication.

Join a gym. Work on your physical self. I found that once I started losing weight and feeling physically good about myself after a break up, I started thinking that maybe I had a future on the relationship end of things.

Keep your chin up. We're all here for you. You're doing great. :)

[talaniman]

Word to the wise, she didn't break the peace, you did, by answering her email. If you ignore it, she has no control over your emotions. Yes it's that simple. Send her emails to spam, where she belongs.

[SJB1701E]

Well she emailed me again today and I deleted it. She said that she understood why I didn't thinkwe should be talking but told me she still wishes I'd reconsider. I'm not going to. I've made my decision and cutting her out of my life is what's best for me. She Kept pushing the going out to dinner thing in the eamil and told me to call her if I change my mind. I'm not going to. I made my decision and I'm not going to jump into round 3 with her. It was had for me to turn her down but its what's best and healthiest for me. I deserve better than the treatment I got from her and she isn't mature enough to handle a real adult relationship. Its hard but I'm walking away from this and I'll be better for it.

[SJB1701E]

Well its not so hard to walk away anymore. In fact, I'm running. A flower appeared on my car the other day, which creeped me out, since it was right afterme telling her to leave me alone. I called her to ask her to please leave me the hell alone. She claims it wasn't her, but no one else I know could have. At any rate I took the oppurtunity to feel a little bit of weakness and for a minute actually considered trying to go a 3rd time. Instead, I asked her if she had been cheating on me the second go around. She was honest. She had been sleeping with a 41 year old drug addict who lives with his parents and has 2 teenage daughters he can't support. This is the guy she was drawn to over me?? Adding the last few weeks of our first go around, that makes a little over 3 months worth of cheating with some pathetic loser behind my back (that I know of). I'm so much better off without having some drug addict, lowlife girl trying to hook back up with me evry few months. I blocked her email, Facebook, etc. I'm going to block her number from my phone. She was going on and on about how she was cleanign up her act and that she had left him and quit drugs. I heard all that word for word the second go around. I don't believe a word this woman says. She was begging me to at least be her friend and tellign me she still loves me and that leaving me for that other guy was a huge mistake. I would have bought al that before the second go around, but not now. I may have a hard time getting over trust issues with being cheated on, but her... I don't even know who she is anymore, ad while I miss the idea of who I thought she was, I hate the person I see she is. She disgusts me and makes me sick to think that that was the type of person I was with.

[talaniman]

Vent, baby, vent, its good for you, and don't call, just throw the flowers, or whatever, away, and keep moving to the next event, on the horizon.