[confused1145]

I am so confused with my current situation. My ex and I are expecting a baby. Here lately, we have been back and forth with our relationship. One day he is really serious about being with me and then the next day or so he decides that the two of us should just be friends. I can never seem to figure out where the two of us stands. He suffers from manic depression, which this is why I believe causes him to constantly change his mind. Also, he had a horrible past relationship with his ex wife. She always cheated on him and treated him horrible. I've gave hoim so much time and he is the one that initiates the two of us getting back together. I only state my feelings I have for him. We get along so good so I don't fully understand all of this. Can someone please give me some suggestions on what to do and how to understand him a little better? He continues to reassure me that he has strong feelings for me.

[liz28]

Manic depression is also referred to a bipolar disorder and with this disorder it causes major mood swings. This is the reason for him behaving the way he does. Do he take meds?

The only thing I can said he when someone has a disorder you have to deal with it if you continue to be with that person, not to sound rude. Did this happen after the situation with his wife?

I know he hurts you, but you have to focus on the bundle of joy your carrying and know he might always be this way when the baby is born. Strong strong for your unborn child. He most likely has strong feelings for you and care a lot, but he needs to get his mental right. Does he goes to counseling?

I hope everything works out and just stay strong.

[JBeaucaire]

You're making him assure you verbally, and that's not his forte. Men are action-based.

Regardless of what he says or doesn't say, evaluate how he acts... what he does. That baby needs commitment and consistency. YOU must provide that.

He's not allowed to come in and out of the baby's life like a yo-yo. He's either in or out all the way.

Whichever you deem is the right/correct choice on this, he is still responsible for his half of the baby's cost. This isn't an option, if you aren't getting married, you GET HIS commitment in writing. With or without his consent, you make sure his legal obligations to that child are spelled out and certified by a court.

Your CHILD needs this from you.

[confused1145]

Yes, he does take meds most of the time. Sometimes he allows himself to run out of them. Recently his doctor started him on medication that makes him worse. He just stopped taking them so I'm hoping that this all improves. He didn't start doing this after his ex, he's been acting this way since he was young.

[Nestorian]

I"m not really able to say much about the situation, but there are probably many reasons for his behaviour. COuld be something some one says, Like... "God help you if you have kids." or "you are so irresponsible." And so on. COuld be he is jsut scarred and can't handle it. (I'm acctually in a simular situation. I may or may not be haveing a baby, the girl and i got together when she was "leaving" her ex, but she went back to him, and they were still doing things, I've accepted that i may not get to be a big part of my Plosible childs life, but I made the choice and must accept it as it is. Also The guy hates me, so I can't really go see her, Unless I know she is up set about how he treats her. One minute she is happy, the next so very sad. I just want to scoop her up in my arms and squees the fear, sadness and pain out of her. If you catch my meaning.) As for you you have to take care of yourself, and your child, or not, there acctaully arn't any real baises for those beliefs, other than the fact that most of us don't want to hurt, or cause hurt. Any who, moving on...

You can sugest the doctor, and trying to help him with information, but don't stress it, that's very annoying, i kind of have depression too, nasty mood swings at times. Nothing more frustrating then that. He probably feels, insecure (so hugs are great, and at a time of good feelings Kisses.), Confused (so space is needed, but not too much.) and many more and difficult things. The best thing I can sugest, you dont have to do it, but why not try it eh?? Try to keep calm no matter what, jsut let things go through you, yes it will probably hurt, but if you can (not ignore, thats bad.) acknoledge his feelings, and drop your own emotional strians. I can understand that will be next to impossible considering the little one on its way, hormones, and such. Try though, it helps when some one can hear you, and not be focused on thier own self, just watch that you're not lost in the prosess, very difficult to do this is. Use love, and compation as your not shield, you do need to hear and feel what he has to say, but counter. If he say something mean, say, "I love you." Then again that may upset him more, making him feel less of a man for being so petty or some such thing.

I'm sorry it this doesn't help, but I really do need a little more to go on. May love- kindness be with you.

[Nestorian]

Yes, he does take meds most of the time. Sometimes he allows himself to run out of them. Recently his doctor started him on medication that makes him worse. He just stopped taking them so I'm hoping that this all improves. He didn't start doing this after his ex, he's been acting this way since he was young.

Until he finds the right meds, and dose, he'll most likely be a Yo -yo as JB put it. Try not to get enveloped by just him, because weather he likes it or not, weather you like it or not, that child is going to be in this world and will need most of your attention and time. Besides, you don't want to let this situation ruin the experience of the baby eh? You will only have this child once! So don't wast it, the moment I mean.


Angain my Friend, may love-kindness be with you.