[orange]

We just received a call that my husband's brother and sister-in-law were killed in a car crash in Vancouver late this afternoon. They have 2 small children, ages 4 and 6, and I'm not sure if they were in the car or not. We are on our way to Vancouver (booked a flight for early tomorrow morning), as it is Jewish custom to bury the bodies within 24 hours or as soon as possible. So the funeral might be tomorrow.

We are both just absolutely stunned at this point. No feeling. Anyway I wanted to say I might not be on the forum for a few days. We always take the computer with us when we travel, but I'm not sure I will feel like coming on.

[RickJ]

Oh my. I am so sorry to hear this orange. I cannot imagine the grieving that the family will go through in this.

My family will pray for the family - especially the children - this week.

[speedball1]

Chava,

Please accept my sincere sympathy for your loss. It is always more tragic and traumatic when the passing of family members occurs suddenly. My thoughts and well wishes are with you and your family. Shalom, Tom

[LTheobald]

All the best from me too Orange. Our thoughts, prayers, best wishes etc. are with you.

[orange]

Thanks everyone for your wishes. It's very difficult, especially for the children. The 6 year old keeps disappearing and this morning we found her hiding in a closet. The 4 year old is literally bouncing off the walls. Obviously I'm in Vancouver now, staying at my husband's parents. The funeral is later on this morning. We usually take our computer with us when we travel, so I've set it up here in the bedroom.

We are staying for the next week to Sit Shiva (mourning). It's lucky that this is a big house because all the relatives are staying here for the Shiva. I'm exhausted, having not had any sleep the night before last, and only about 5 hours last night. Unfortunately that's what happens to me when I am grieving; I'm not a person to cry, but I get insomnia. Normally I would just endure it, but since I'm pregnant I'm a little concerned for the baby.

I have to apologize, because there are 2 copies of this thread, one is here in Member Discussions, and the other is in Bereavement. After I posted here, I discovered the Bereavement forum and decided it was more appropriate to post in there. However, I wasn't able to delete this post.

Anyway thanks again for your thoughts and prayers. I'm sure they will help us all to get through this.

[Chery]

Dear Orange. So sorry to hear about this tragic event in your life. I hope that they did not suffer too much and that God took them to him quick. The children, wherever they will spend the rest of their lives, will be well cared for if they have the love and support of wonderful people like you - and I do hope you will help in caring for them and nurturing them further after their initial mourning period. I don't know what else to say at this time, and you are probably not receptive too much else either, so I'll get back with you after a while.

I will be in hospital for four weeks starting Tuesday, and will be back on line later. In the meantime, please know that my best wishes and hopes are with you and your little family - and that the stress level will not be damaging to you. Please take good care of yourself - you and all my forum friends are important to me and I send you my sincere Love.

Chery

[orange]

Thanks so much Chery. Actually I am doing okay. It's the children I am more worried about. Actually they are coming home with Alex and I. We had signed papers just a few months back saying we would adopt them if anything happened to their parents. We fly home next week. If I sound calm, I'm not! I'm freaking out about parenting them and having my own baby, but I have lots of support, both financially and advice wise. Plus I'm asking people on the board about parenting. Actually at this point I am just really anxious for the shiva to be over, so we can all go home and start our lives together.

I'm so sorry you are going into the hospital again. I hope everything will go well. I'll talk to you when you return, take care!

[Chery]

Babe, I knew you'd take the kids, and you'll be the best thing for them now that they don't have their parents anymore. You'll be blessed with two little helpers as long as you include them in on everything and let them feel real close to the new gift that was sent to help heal the hurt of their loss - they will understand this. Thank goodness that children that age are still adaptable and when loved and nurtured with wisdom and participation in your's and the baby's life - they will integrate sooner than you think. I am sure this will happen as they now have someone like you to watch over them and they will feel that they are loved and need too. No matter what age we are, we need a purpose in life and not just a 'place', so do what's right and you'll do just fine. I know it's a lot all of a sudden for you and Alex, but you'll manage, because nothing happens without a purpose - and you'll figure it out soon enough. Remember one thing, when a child forms a question in their mind and asks it, it's ready for the truth - this they will remember all their lives and that's what either makes or brakes trust and confidence. Can't wait to see which one is going to follow in your artistic footsteps. Remember to keep me up to date, and don't hestitate to let me know if I can help in any way - I'm still a 'kid' at heart and know a lot about how little ones react to life. So, if you need my emotional support, you know you'll always have it till my dying day.

Love, Chery
My stay in the hospital will have to be successful because I have to get ready to help my daughter with her baby when it gets here, so don't worry - I'm a 'survivor' and will crawl to be there if I have to.

P.S. When I come back, I'll make special coloring books for them when you send me their names.

[orange]

Thanks Chery... very good advice about the children! I hope they will all be good at art... all children are natural artists anyway, but I'm going to encourage them as much as I can. The coloring books sound really great... the children are Shaina (6) and Levi (4). We decided on the name for our boy, too... at least his first name. It's going to be Noah. :)

All the best for your hospital stay... let me know when you are back home again!

[orange]

Wonderful advice, thanks so much!

[Chery]

Thanks Chery... very good advice about the children! I hope they will all be good at art... all children are natural artists anyways, but I'm going to encourage them as much as I can. The coloring books sound really great... the children are Shaina (6) and Levi (4). We decided on the name for our boy, too... at least his first name. It's going to be Noah. :)

All the best for your hospital stay... let me know when you are back home again!

Those are cool names. If I'd had a son, his name would have been Aaron Jewels. I love those names that not everyone has. Again, all the best to you and your now bigger little family.

Love, Chery

[orange]

I also like the name Aaron. I had thought about it for my son, but decided against it because it's very popular and I don't want him having the same name as 4 other kids in his class at school! In my school, there were tons of Jennifers, Jasons, and Michelles. Noah is a somewhat popular name, but not as much.

I was just reading in another thread that you are going to be gone for 4 weeks?? I didn't realize it was that long. Well in that case I am very sorry to see you go! I thought a few days at the most, not a whole month! Anyway take care and I will be thinking of you.

[Chery]

I also like the name Aaron. I had thought about it for my son, but decided against it because it's very popular and I don't want him having the same name as 4 other kids in his class at school!! In my school, there were tons of Jennifers, Jasons, and Michelles. Noah is a somewhat popular name, but not as much.

I was just reading in another thread that you are going to be gone for 4 weeks???? I didn't realize it was that long. Well in that case I am very sorry to see you go!! I thought a few days at the most, not a whole month! Anyways take care and I will be thinking of you.

Unfortunately too much has been going on and my heart went on strike due to a lot of emotional stress. Ablation again and/or a pacemaker are not my choice, and I need my strength back. So, to play it safe, my doc wants me to have a change of scenery and is adding a little exercise and therapy. I'm confident that it will do me a lot of good.

I will also have the chance to read up on my psychology books that I've left collecting dust - and take to heart what the doctor suggests.

Will be back stronger and with bells on and ready to be there for others again soon.

Remember to take good care of yourself too.

Love, Chery

P.S. on a lighter note, my daughter is 1/4 Blackfoot, so I'm hoping that her genes are strong enough to let a part of that generation pop up - it is a strong possibility. She's a blond, but I'd sure as heck get a tickle out of a dark haired and dark eyed grandchild - with real native 'American' blood.

[orange]

Yes an aboriginal kid would be very cool... especially since you live in Europe! :)

[wizzkid89]

First I would like to say sorry about your loss orange, but by now you probably have heard it all just know that I personally think you will make a great mom for all three kids and hopefully for the sake of the children your lives can return to a somewhat less frantic lifestyle. Also, because of my absence and I know it's been a while the site tells me a few weeks, I didn't know about your little trip for a couple weeks Chery, I hope all goes well and I'm positive you will be back and going strong once you return. It's also funny you mentioned the Blackfoot,I was born in South Dakota and the majority of Blackfoot or as I was told from the people in Rapid City and Mt. Rushmore/Badland Tour Guides is that they populated the Black Hills of that area, which is something I found interesting. I was really sad when I came back and this was the first post I read and I was kind of irritated at myself for not keeping in touch. The reason for my absence is that I was practicing and planning for my trip to New York during the last week of April for the Major League Gaming Tournament, now that my flight and reservations are made I can attend to other things. Anyway, I wanted to say that I'm sorry and I hope the future treats you better.

[orange]

Hey wizzkid! Nice to see you again, I was wondering where you had got to. Thanks for the kind wishes. Please don't feel bad that you weren't around... I've had lots of support online and in person from friends and family. Things are a lot calmer now that we're back home. Of course it's very hard on the children and I'm sure it will be for a long time to come, but they are doing as well as can be expected. The pets are all getting along (theirs and ours were merged, so we now have 2 dogs, a cat and 2 guinea pigs!), we're all looking forward to the new baby (I am due mid-June) and the new house (which we hope to purchase by May 1). There's a lot of excitement.

What is the Major League Gaming Tournament? Like what kind of games? Anyway it sounds exciting and if you're going to be in a tournament you must be pretty good. I love New York City, just going there for a trip will be pretty awesome.

Thanks again for the wishes. It's good to finally hear from you again!

[wizzkid89]

I'm glad to see things are on the up and up for you orange, and I thought it was very cool that you merged your pets. The Major League Gaming Tournament was born from MLG or Major League Gaming. It has been going on since 2004 and this will be it's third season. There are a few events year round, culminating in a conference final for east midwest and west coast and final a national final. The first few are open to everyone but the national one is invite only. The events take place in Atlanta, Chicago, Las Vegas, LA, New York, and Philidelphia and Dallas. They are strategically placed throughout the country that way people can attend at least one. I live in California, so it probably seems weird that I would be going across the nation for this event rather than waiting for Las Vegas or L.A. The reason being is that it's the first one and we are hoping to start of the season with a bang and if all goes will we can earn some money. There will be one million given out per event. And that money is split in half. Half goes to the Halo 2 tournament, and half goes to the Supersmash brother's mêlée tournment. My team and I which I was recruited for are three people who go to my high school and one guy in detroit, and now that everything is paid for we are just kind of getting ready to practice and cover strategies. All in all it should be fun win or lose.

[orange]

That sounds really exciting, wizzkid! You'll have to come back on here and tell us how it turned out! Good luck, and I hope you really enjoy the trip!

[DJ 'H']

Orange, I am so sorry to learn this news. My thoughts are with you, your husband and your family!! Please know we are all here if you need us xxxx

[orange]

Thanks so much Holly. I hope everything is well with you, too! I've been following the thread about Pete, although I haven't posted anything. I hope that it's all sorted out for you soon.