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100Years2Live · Mar 11, 2006, 12:25 AM

Ok maybe Im being judgemental? Maybe you all can tell me your opinions on a Special Education or Mentally Challenged (Female) dating a Perfectly Healthy (Male) who has been known to use girls for sex? Not saying he will just has a reputation of it.

I do not know him personally but my friend Haley, thinks Im being judgemental when I tried to confront this guy about it. She said that it was not my relationship, and I had no need to worry about it.

Tommyp!972 · Mar 11, 2006, 01:53 AM

If the girl is your close friend you have a right to voice your opinion.. no one wants to see a good friend get hurt challenged or not.. but if you don't know her very well leave it alone... maybe the girl is challenged in certain areas but others mental fuctions are fine.. if you're not her doctor and don't know for sure this is one to stay possibly away of...

fredg · Mar 11, 2006, 06:37 AM

Hi,
Do you want to make this your issue? Are you ready to face any issues that might come of it, if you confront this boy about it?
The question really isn't about Special Ed, etc,; it's more about you and if you want to become involved in something that has nothing to do with you.
If you do, and it's your choice, then be prepared for any consequences, if any, that might come up. I do wish you the best of luck.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 11, 2006, 06:40 AM

A boy who merely "uses" girls for sex has no values and normally no good self opinion of thierself.

The issues here are free choice and rights to make wrong choices.

If you are a friend and this male with a sort of sexual past was trying to date a friend, no matter if they had any learning problems or not, you should at least warn them if you known something they don't about it.

JoeCanada76 · Mar 11, 2006, 08:06 AM

If that is true about the guy using girls for sex and only taking advantage of girls. It is disgusting. Do you know for sure this is happening? If so, you already let some be aware of it, but you can not really interfere. What about the girls parents? Where are they? It does happen a lot, people challenged being taken advantage of, but do not think that it is always the case.

Joe

kp2171 · Mar 11, 2006, 08:13 AM

Use of any person for the sole purpose of having sex, barring a religious debate here... lets just start with general ethics... is unethical unless the other party is of the same mindset. Obviously religion limits that statement further.

The use of someone with altered mental ability for sex isn't right. If he's having sex with and the person is consenting and of reasonable mind, then that's different (barring religious dabate).

s_cianci · Mar 11, 2006, 09:01 PM

A lot has to do with just how mentally challenged Haley is and consequently how vulnerable she is. Remember, not every special ed student is "mentally challenged." A lot of classified students have IQs that are just as high as or higher than everyone else's but have a very specific sort of disability that hinders their ability to acquire an education in the usual, traditional manner, such as occurs with something like dyslexia for example. She may well be savvy enough to look out for herself despite her learning disabilities. Furthermore, a lot of classified students feel that they are often negatively stereotyped by their peers as "retards" or similarly derogatory labels. Although your concern for her is admirable and quite mature, she may see your overprotectiveness as a form of stereotyped behavior and perhaps feel that you believe that she is too stupid to take care of herself because she is special ed. She will naturally resent you harboring such an attitude. If you truly feel she is vulnerable and being taken advantage of in such a manner that could eventually put her in harm's way then you should share your concerns with a trusted adult like a teacher or school counselor.

100Years2Live · Mar 12, 2006, 12:00 AM

Wow... this is funny, Haley is fine. She is the girl I like and have been posting about. I am talking about another couple neither of which I know personally. So If you don't mind please repost and try again!

fredg · Mar 12, 2006, 07:17 AM

HI,
I have already posted about "the another couple" you were talking about. So have some others here. It's still your own decision as to interfere with someone else, and face whatever consequences may result. If you feel you need to talk with this other boy about dating someone, it's up to you.

talaniman · Mar 12, 2006, 11:54 AM

If you don't know all the facts then you would be well advised to keep your nose out of someone else's business, no matter what the motivation is.:cool:

s_cianci · Mar 12, 2006, 11:59 AM

What I said in my original post when I assumed Haley was the girl in question applies just the same to anyone else. The fact that you admit that you don't know either the boy or girl in question personally makes me doubt that you should be getting involved in the situation at all. Since you don't personally know the people involved, you certainly don't know many of the facts if any and maybe Haley knows enough that she felt it was wise to advise you to stay out of it. You obviously have no personal stake in the issue so why would you even get involved with it? Being a busybody is dangerous business and something that you'd be wise to steer clear of. Originally I thought you knew the girl in question but upon realizing that you don't know either the girl or the guy changes things completely.