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miriwonders · Jun 11, 2008, 03:35 AM

I have really bad memory and the other night I was super bored and feeling a bit down on myself, so I started making a list of all the guys I had been with since I became sexually active and I started to wonder, if the number of partners a year was actually the norm or was I over board.
Although I wount say how many so far I have to say I was totally honest in the list and counted even that one night stand I wished it never happen counted the ones with and without condoms. And I've noticed the more years that have gone by the more number of partners I have been with. So when it comes to SEX and just sex, what's the avarage or how many do you guys think a girl should have a year? Of course keep in mind, I happen to be a very sexual person who is single and comfortable with her self and most men find me attractive, but I don't want to become a slut. So how many is a healthy number? And don't say one cause of couse that would be the ideal but unfortionally that's not what I'm asking. Thanks!

liz28 · Jun 11, 2008, 04:39 AM

First, I would want to say al because men find attractive does not mean you have to sleep with because body is your temple and you have to protect it. Having sex with random people, that you will regret the next day, is not good. Having unprotected sex is stupid with all the std's going around or can lead to an unwanted pregnancy.

Second, most men will sleep with anyone and get a pat on the back while the women is called a slut, really double standard.

You can have a high sex drive, that's normal but it don't have be everyone or anyone. Sometimes alcohol plays a lot in your decision.

I have sex a lot but it's with the person I with, because can't be anyone. I been sexual active since 17 and I count on my hand the numbers of guys I been with and I'am 28. I not judging you but just be careful and wise with who you sleep with. I'm not sure if I answered your question but this is just my view and how I do things.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 11, 2008, 05:13 AM

1 or maybe 2, since you should have spent time getting over one, time getting to know another one well first.

Romefalls19 · Jun 11, 2008, 05:37 AM

Tough call as it depends on how old you are. I would say anything more than 3 a year is out of hand. I won't even talk to girls my age(21 going on 22) that are off two hands. I think a girl should respect herself enough not to give herself up so easily(not saying you do) and there is a great quote about it "will you not know what to say to the boy who gets your heart someday, and your used body"

Lovelee · Jun 11, 2008, 05:42 AM

I would have to say if your in a serious relationship then obviously one. There could be one person who you may consider a friend with "benefits" too. Of course there is always the option of not having sex at all when not in a relationship but for some that is not an option.

excon · Jun 11, 2008, 05:49 AM

Hello m:

Me?? I don't have a double standard. Until they start calling men sluts who sleep around, the word isn't applicable in my opinion. So girl, screw 'em all.

excon

Synnen · Jun 11, 2008, 05:51 AM

As long as you are practicing safe sex (and you WILL from now on, I hope)---who the hell cares about a number?

I'm not on 2 hands anymore--haven't been since I was 21 or 22. Did I enjoy those encounters? Absolutely. Did I learn from them--oh god yes. Is it anyone's business but mine? Absolutely not.

As long as YOU are comfortable with the number, and with your sexuality--no one else EVER needs to know that number.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 11, 2008, 06:07 AM

Get into a relationship.

The sex is 100 times better when you're with someone you care about. Then you wouldn't have to worry about being a *slut* if you're in one.

I have a friend who is 19 (female) and slept with, I believe, 30 men. :eek:
I don't know how she does it; I couldn't. She often complains to me about never being able to find a nice guy. GEE, I wonder why you can't... :rolleyes:

Romefalls19 · Jun 11, 2008, 06:54 AM

I can't give you rep Beautiful, but you're a right. Sex with someone you're with is a lot better because feelings are involved. Even as a guy, I don't sleep around at all. It's just not my style. I know a girl who is 21 and has been with 50 some guys. THAT'S SICK

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 11, 2008, 07:05 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

I can't give you rep Beautiful, but you're a right. Sex with someone you're with is a lot better because feelings are involved. Even as a guy, I don't sleep around at all. It's just not my style. I know a girl who is 21 and has been with 50 some guys. THAT'S SICK

You got that right! That is disturbing...

Hopefully she doesn't have an STD :confused:

I wonder what goes through a person's head to make them do that? I would feel dirty and guilty afterwards. That girl must not feel disgusting because she probably would have stopped after #20.

EWWW!

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 11, 2008, 07:06 AM

miriwonders,

You'll know when the number is just too much...

Romefalls19 · Jun 11, 2008, 07:27 AM

Exactly, even as a guy, if I get off 2 hands I, myself, will feel dirty. I mean to each his own, but to treat women like a piece of meat is kidna disturbing.

With that being said, I don't mean being in your 50's and being off 2 hands is dirty, I mean at my age, being off two hands is slightly out of control.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 11, 2008, 07:36 AM

I still think even in a person's 50's if they've slept with 50 people that's a lot!

Synnen · Jun 11, 2008, 07:36 AM

I wonder, Romefalls, if you have the same issue with women your age that have children? That you won't even consider dating them because of the OBVIOUS evidence that there's been someone there before you.

I placed my child for adoption at 17, and had guys that wouldn't even consider dating me, even years later, because they felt I was "slutty" because I'd been pregnant.

Seriously--attitudes like some of the ones I've seen, both in this question and in similar questions, is why I tell people that they don't have to tell ANYONE that number. No matter WHAT your number is, SOMEONE is going to judge you for it. And really, all it takes is ONE bad partner to change your life--one person with an STD, regardless how many people you've slept with. Ever see the film "Kids"? She ends up having sex with ONE GUY at 15, and finds out she's HIV-positive. ONE person is all it takes--so who is anyone to judge whether a person has had 15 or 5 or 1 or 50 partners? All it takes is bad judgement ONCE--and a virgin can make that bad judgement as easily (or possibly MORE easily, since they don't have the experience) than a person with more partners.

My husband has no idea how many past partners I have. Actually, I don't know if anyone but me knows that number. And I plan on keeping it that way.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 11, 2008, 07:42 AM

I don't believe Romefalls is putting it that way. Actually I know he's not.

It's the fact that some people do sleep with that many that is disturbing.

Synnen · Jun 11, 2008, 07:55 AM

And I'm just pointing out that... so what? So what if they do? If they enjoy the sex, and don't want to be tied down to one person because of their education or their career or whatever---who cares?

So... if 50 is too many, regardless your age--how many is still okay? 10 at 21 years old? Or 3 or 13 or what? What about at 50? Is 10 okay at 50? Or is 20 okay?

Honestly, I'm seeing this as another form of close-mindedness about the bedroom. As long as a person is safe and willing, what difference does it make?

I guess what my question then is, following in this, is that if a person absolutely refused to give you the number of people they've slept with, but could show you a clean bill of health--would you still be with them?

Romefalls19 · Jun 11, 2008, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

I wonder, Romefalls, if you have the same issue with women your age that have children? That you won't even consider dating them because of the OBVIOUS evidence that there's been someone there before you.

I placed my child for adoption at 17, and had guys that wouldn't even consider dating me, even years later, because they felt I was "slutty" because I'd been pregnant.

Seriously--attitudes like some of the ones I've seen, both in this question and in similar questions, is why I tell people that they don't have to tell ANYONE that number. No matter WHAT your number is, SOMEONE is going to judge you for it. And really, all it takes is ONE bad partner to change your life--one person with an STD, regardless how many people you've slept with. Ever see the film "Kids"? She ends up having sex with ONE GUY at 15, and finds out she's HIV-positive. ONE person is all it takes--so who is anyone to judge whether a person has had 15 or 5 or 1 or 50 partners? All it takes is bad judgement ONCE--and a virgin can make that bad judgement as easily (or possibly MORE easily, since they don't have the experience) than a person with more partners.

My husband has no idea how many past partners I have. Actually, I don't know if anyone but me knows that number. And I plan on keeping it that way.

Actually, funny you should bring that up. I am currently dating a women with not one, but two kids. So now, someone being there before me is not an issue. I just don't feel comfortable dating someone who has been with many men. I don't ask girls how many guys they have been with, sometimes they are up front about it.

I see your point of view, but it's my preference to not want to be with someone who has been with a high amount of guys, it's just like I wouldn't want to be with someone who has no intelligence. Personal preference some would call it. I NEVER once said anything about bad judgements, but eventually you get to the point where constant bad judgements are being made. I wouldn't want to date someone who has been doing drugs for the past 15 years either, does that make me a bad guy too?

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 11, 2008, 08:13 AM

I'm looking at this from a moralistic side.

If a person refused to give me numbers, then I would assume that it's up there. Even if they gave me a clean bill I wouldn't be with them for emotional reasons. That's just how I am.

excon · Jun 11, 2008, 08:21 AM

Hello:

In my view, there are more disturbing things going on in the world than how many people somebody has slept with.

If it disturbs YOU, then don't do it. But, what other people do in the privacy of their bedrooms or with whom, isn't any body's business. Making judgments about their behavior is actually more disturbing to me than the behavior.

excon

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 11, 2008, 08:31 AM

I don't do it :)

I'm sure that if you had slept with a woman and she told you that you were #100, you'd be deeply effected.

Yes, STD's being spread around the world is disturbing.