Age?

Boswee · Mar 9, 2006, 10:28 AM

What do you think the boarder line age would be. Like how far apart would you think is okay. Like 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 years or more.

RickJ · Mar 9, 2006, 12:44 PM

Are you meaning for a relationship?

If so, it depends on how old the two are.

5 years difference is nothing for folks in their 30s and upwards, but between an 18 year old and a 23 year old, the difference is pretty huge.

How old are you and the one you are wondering about?

kp2171 · Mar 9, 2006, 02:35 PM

Depends on age like rick said.

A few years apart can be a big difference when you're talking 16 versus 20. As you get into your mid 20s I think the gap can widen a lot.

My aunt is 11 years older than her husband. She married him when she was around 36. Fantastic marriage.

My wife is several years older than me. I married her when I was 29. At that time the two previous persons I had dated were 5-6 years younger than me. In the relationships that didn't work with the younger ladies it wasn't the age that kept it from working as much as the mental state (which DOES change over time)

So I guess id say its better just a few years apart at most when you're younger. As you get older, the gap naturally widens more.

orange · Mar 9, 2006, 02:47 PM

I agree with Rick and kp2171. My husband is 5 years older than me, but I am 26 and he is 31 so it's not a big deal. Plus we only met 2 years ago, when we were both well into our 20s. If he'd been trying to date me when he was 20 and I was 15 though, that would have been a bit weird.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 9, 2006, 04:15 PM

I am 10 years older than my wife and it works great for us.

Of course I was 40 when we meet.

If I had been 18 and she was 8, I would have been in jail.

But age has little to do with the relationship and there should not be borders, ( as long as they are of legal age)
It should be what makes each couple happy.

letmetellu · Mar 9, 2006, 10:43 PM

Girls mature faster mentaly than guy do is most cases so a four year difference if you are in your early 20's is a good average. But like others have said if you are at an older age then the difference can be more. If you are 15 to 17 two years is enoughand should not be more.

DJ 'H' · Mar 10, 2006, 03:10 AM

I happen to believe that age is just a number. If two people fall for each other then why should age matter? As long as you are both of age (legally) then I don't see that any age gap matters.

fredg · Mar 10, 2006, 06:24 AM

Hi, Boswee,
As mentioned, you didn't tell us how old you are, or if you are talking about yourself.
My opinion is that, in general, if both are teens, 2 -3 years maybe.
For say 20 yrs older or up, for both, there is no age limit for a relationship.

s_cianci · Mar 12, 2006, 12:36 PM

A lot depends on the present ages of the people in question. If you are both teenagers then I'd say no more than a year's difference. If you are 20-something then I'd say no more than 5 years difference. If you are both mid-30s or beyond, then it really doesn't matter how far apart your ages are.

wynelle · Mar 15, 2006, 08:55 PM

As many have mentioned, the difference in age varies by how old you are. From an earlier post, you said that you were 20 soon to be 21.

At 21, there are a lot of things that you can do that she can't. At least legally. And that already got you into big trouble with her mother once.

My opinion:

A 21 year old male shouldn't be dating a woman younger than 20.

A 24 year old man shouldn't be dating a woman younger than 21.

A 30 year old man shouldn't date a woman younger than 25.

After 30, then as long as she is at least 25. But more importantly, what do you have in common? What activities do you both enjoy (other than partying at bars. Sooner or later, one of you will get tired of that and the other won't)

By 30, you have generally set and started to meet some of your life goals in terms of job, education, housing, etc. Whatever age of the woman, you want someone who has similar lifestyles and who is in agreement with you.

By age 40, the age difference can be greater, because you are both more mature and two people in their twenties.

kp2171 · Mar 15, 2006, 09:10 PM

There are a few things you can do at 21 that you cannot do legally when younger, but if you're saying a college sophomore shouldn't date a college senior... I guess it's a matter of opinion, but I expect their mindsets to be pretty similar.

Also, I've known some 24 year olds who were more responsible and mature than some 34 year olds... so while I do believe the gap is generally better if smaller when you're younger... I just cannot say that I'd be upset if my 19 year old daughter dated a 21 year old man.

maria26 · Mar 15, 2006, 11:01 PM

I use to believe that age gap does not matter but in some sort of shape it does. I am in my twentys and am always attracted to older men... but older men don't have the energy or patience to keep up and they get irritable easly.. they are older. But again that's my experience and it could be completely different for someone else. Hope I've helped.

samjg · Mar 18, 2006, 07:56 PM

As does not matter as someone else said on here, as long as people are both legally of age and happy! I am 16 and am dating a 24 yr old! And my mum is 40 n her boyfriend is 26... age does not matter, it does cause some problems but if your really in love with this person it doesn't really matter as you will overcome it right?

kp2171 · Mar 23, 2006, 10:52 PM

Originally Posted by maria26

...but older men dont have the energy or patience to keep up and they get irritable easly...

As a man of 34 yrs I find your tiring comment irritating!

I'm going to go take a nap now.

;)

maria26 · Mar 24, 2006, 10:47 AM

Sorry I offended you, but like I stated that was MY PERSONAL experience!

bizygurl · Mar 24, 2006, 11:00 AM

My husband and I are nine years apart in age. I met him when I was 18 and he was 27. Its not bad. Although if you really think about it when he was 18 I was 9.. thats when its kind of weird when you think in terms like that. My mom just got remarried to a man 15 yrs older than her and she is extremely happy...

bizygurl · Mar 24, 2006, 11:05 AM

Originally Posted by maria26

i use to believe that age gap does not matter but in some sort of shape it does. I am in my twentys and am always attracted to older men...but older men dont have the energy or patience to keep up and they get irritable easly..they are older. But again thats my experiance and it could be completely different for someone else. Hope ive helped.

I think maybe in general that may be true with older men but I think it depends a lot on the individual. My new step dad is 68 and is fifteen years older than my mom you would think that he was in his mid to late forties.. he has so much energy and pip... that sometimes he seems younger than my mom.. lol. I think it's a lot on how you view life as you get older and it's a choice. Do you want a humdrum kind of life as you get older or do you want to make the best of it and live life to the fullest. Remember there are a lot of younger, "lazy' guys out there who would rather be sitting on the couch all day then living their life.;)

fredg · Mar 25, 2006, 07:24 AM

Hi,
All of us have different personal experiences with ages, and know others who have also. This is what makes answers so great; many, many experiences.

bskinner57 · Mar 30, 2006, 11:42 AM

Everyone needs to realize that age is just a number. My wife and I have been married for 9 years now, and I am 19 years older than her...

kp2171 · Mar 30, 2006, 10:03 PM

Originally Posted by bskinner57

Everyone needs to realize that age is just a number. My wife and i have been married for 9 years now,, and i am 19 years older than her...

Yeah well if a 35 year old came to my door to date my 16 year old your rationale would get you tossed off my property quite rudely... and maybe a night in jail for me. Irish temper and all.

Of course there is a point where it matters less. But to simply say it does not matter ever is the same as saying child grooms and brides are OK as long as they are not forced.