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len21 · Jun 9, 2008, 06:58 PM

Hey all, well have not been on here for a while have not really felt like I needed to. But last week had a bit of a drama I had an email from my ex saying how much he misses me like crazy and how he sometimes thinks about us talking our problems through and being happy again.. then sent another email apolagising saying he was glad I was moving on and didn't need to hear about his issues!! So that that weird got moved on, text him back said all good about the email and was nice to know he had not forgotten about me toatally and he answered " hardly at all actually" anway now I have found out that he will be at a mutual friends dinner this week... very weird feeling esp after the email last week, plus I am seeing someone else now and was going to ask him along but toatally don't want to do that to my ex. I just really don't know how the situation will feel, is it bad that I am actually looking forward to seeing him?

Chery · Jun 9, 2008, 07:14 PM

Hi len21.

I would say that depends on how long you have been apart. It could be that he just had a sentimental moment with or without alcohol, and might have reached out. Of course you felt good that he has not forgotten you altogether, but if you don't plan on going back to square one (remembering the reason for the break-up and consequent pain and healing process) then I would go with the initial plans and take your current boyfriend with you. Think real hard on the scenario if you do not take him and the dinner winds up being more than what you had planned - there is a difference between reality and fantasy and it might do you good to face up and cope - that would be closure.

What you do is your decision, so you should be sure of what you really can handle at this point.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

For every action, there is a reaction - be sure you're ready.

JBeaucaire · Jun 9, 2008, 08:19 PM

I would invite your current boyfriend to attend the function with you. If your boyfriend is unavailable, I would strongly recommend you skip the event.

Oh, or break up with your current guy officially before going to the event and hanging with your ex... since you're tempting fate here (you KNOW I'm right), at least you won't be cheating when you open that door.

len21 · Jun 9, 2008, 08:33 PM

Your right I should ask the guy I am seeing to come along, I just feel bad for my ex cause I know it will really hurt him. Not that he deserves my pity but I can't help but think how I would feel if it was me in his situation!

I have to go either way because it is for my best friends leaving dinner, even if I did go alone I truly don't think anything would happen. I just want to make sure I look extra happy and gorgeous! I know probably a bad way to think about it...

Chery · Jun 9, 2008, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by len21

i just feel bad for my ex cause i know it will really hurt him

I just want to make sure i look extra happy and gorgeous!! i know probably a bad way to think about it...

How do you know that it will really hurt your ex-boyfriend? Did you leave something out here? It seems that you are looking for a re-connect.

You need to talk to your current boyfriend, be fair to him because the way you sound, he's just a rebound substitute to you.

JBeaucaire · Jun 9, 2008, 10:57 PM

If you HAVE to go to this function and your ex will definitely be there, your current guy HAS TO GO, too. No choice. Be totally honest about it, too, if you have to. Your guy may be a little hurt by the "I need you there since my ex will be there", but make sure he understands you want him there to keep things civil, not to to keep you from cheating.

The entire evening is about your friend. If your ex does/says ANYTHING that crosses the line, tell him once "Cut it out or I'll have Sandy ask you to leave."

Chery · Jun 9, 2008, 11:34 PM

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

If you HAVE to go to this function and your ex will definitely be there, your current guy HAS TO GO, too. No choice. Be totally honest about it, too, if you have to. Your guy may be a little hurt by the "I need you there since my ex will be there", but make sure he understands you want him there to keep things civil, not to to keep you from cheating.

The entire evening is about your friend. If your ex does/says ANYTHING that crosses the line, tell him once "Cut it out or I'll have Sandy ask you to leave."

It's absolutely as simple as that! You are in control here, so no excuses or second-guessing.

Momma to three · Jun 10, 2008, 03:28 AM

I would invite your current boyfriend to go with you. Be polite and civil to your ex, but that's it. Don't encourage him to believe that there could be a future between you. You have moved on, and he should realize it's time for him to do the same.

damaged · Jun 10, 2008, 06:53 AM

Why did you guys break up in the first place?.
How long ago was it?
N.e ways I would take the new guy to the dinner... That way your ex is not tempted to do something or make a move on you.. If he sees you with the new guy he'll understand you are moving on or have moved on & its time for him to do the same.. But if you looking to re-conect, then break up with your current BF & see what happens at dinner...