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shanny_2006 · Jun 3, 2008, 09:35 AM

Im dating this guy that told me he's addicted to sex but I told him that Im a virgin and had no intention of giving it up until marriage. However, he's still interested and wants to continue dating me. Do u think it's wise to continue dating him? Do you think he'd eventually want sex from me? (Im 18 and he's going to be 20.)

plonak · Jun 3, 2008, 09:48 AM

Uh it is not wise to date him!! Stay far away girl, guaranteed he's going to pressure you, he is a sex addict for crying out loud.. it couldn't pleasure him more than to deflower a virgin.. believe me girl, they take it as a mission to get virgins into bed, and when they get them it's a victory to them..

Please stay away from this guy!

Bellagrace19 · Jun 3, 2008, 10:16 AM

I agree with him...
He's only going to mess with your head... and at first make you think that "oh you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do", and yes, this may go on for a while but then after a while he will start playing these guilt trips on you...
You seem smart.. just give him up... its for the best.

ScottGem · Jun 3, 2008, 10:22 AM

I disagree. You have laid it on the line to him as to what you are willing to do. If he still wants to date you, either he looks on you as a challenge or he genuinely cares for you and to give it a shot.

The thing is, whichever it is will become quickly apparent. So I say continue to date him. If he brings up sex tell him you've already told hoim your position and that if he brings it up once more, then you will end it. If he does then end it. But if you like him, I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

JBeaucaire · Jun 3, 2008, 05:52 PM

Do u think it's wise to continue dating him?
No, but you can. You already know what you're risking.

Do you think he'd eventually want sex from me?
No, he wants sex from you NOW. Right this moment. You do know what an addiction is, right?

He's warned you ahead of time not expect him to behave himself. He likes you, you like him, and every time he steps over the line he'll point to his "addiction" and say "my bad" and you'll say "no problem."

Could it GET more dangerous? I don't think so.

Can you possibly be in a position to help him? Sure. Scott is right, but your feelings will be working against you the whole time. He's not the only one who wants you to have sex with him, your own sexuality wants it, too. Having sex is instinctive, control isn't easy.

Only your strength of will and character can protect you. If you got the chops for it, it might be wonderful.

But REMEMBER, having sex with YOU is only one of the problems, there are millions of other girls who enjoy "doing it" too, and if he isn't getting it from you... cheating is always an option.

This is going to be tough on so many levels. Be sure this is the drama you want.

kangabitt · Jun 5, 2008, 09:25 AM

Just a thought here - I've never known anyone of that age able to find enough willing partners to be considered a true sex addict. It's relatively rare.

Could you further elaborate on that label?

igman · Jun 5, 2008, 09:51 AM

I agree. Unless you are willing to compromise your virginity , run the other way.

kangabitt · Jun 5, 2008, 11:59 PM

Well, Shanny, I'd just call him a horn-dog. If he is that disrespectufl of women, do you really want to enter into any type of relationship with a guy who "wants it from every girl he talks to"?

I think not. ;)

brittneybam · Jun 6, 2008, 09:26 PM

I would give him the benefit of the doubt... maybe he will surprise you. There is a slight chance he might try to pressure you into but tell him your not ready until marriage and if he really cares about you he will wait. If he tries anything aftr you tell him that dump hm and move on to someone that will respect you far enough not to pressure you to have sex before our married!!

mackythehacker · Jun 9, 2008, 03:39 PM

I would say... get rid of him! Lol, but seriously if you don't want to do it until marage, he'll make u believe that, but then he'll start stuff witch will make u feel sorry for him and ''the only way'' to make it up to him is to have sex, obviously, but if you don't have sex with him, (and don't) he might try to rape you...

hannah_banana91 · Jun 10, 2008, 09:38 PM

Originally Posted by shanny_2006

Im dating this guy that told me he's addicted to sex but I told him that Im a virgin and had no intention of giving it up until marriage. However, he's still interested and wants to continue dating me. Do u think it's wise to continue dating him? Do you think he'd eventually want sex from me? (Im 18 and he's going to be 20.)

Number 1... is he getting help? Just like they have alcohol anonymous and narcotics anonymous hey also have sex addicts anonymous. If he is not, I would suggest it
Number 2... yes. He is going to want sex eventually.
Number 3... I wouldn't advise this.. most likely you are going to get with him as in dating... possibly fall for him and then because you love him you'll give it up.
I am 17 dating a 19 year old. I love him very very much and he lost his virginity to me, but I had previously lost mine. He lost it to me when he was 18. After he fell in love with me, he told me he wanted to wait to give it to someone who really mattered. If he truly is a sex addict, sex is to him like coke is to a coke head. It isn't the act itself he's addicted to, it's the endorphins, the chemical rush. (I myself used to be an active cutting addict). The sacredness of the act won't matter... just the chemicals. Think about that before you date him. If he plays a game with you and finally gets you to sleep with him it'll make the rush that much better.

Good luck. Be safe

emmakate · May 19, 2009, 07:32 AM

Guys always do the no its up 2 you.. I respect, no pressure, I don't want to do anything you don't want to do.. and its BULL. They will just try and get in your pants

Rich11111 · May 19, 2009, 11:36 AM

Chances are he will eventually ask you for sex, and even if he doesn't you know that it will always be on his mind.

Also If the guy is a sex addict, an he doesn't get sex from you then there is a high chance he will look for it somewhere else.

crazymathman · Jun 21, 2009, 10:37 PM

Hi all, new here but was reading the thread and have an idea that may or may not be of use. Given that he's a "sex addict" so far everyone that's said he's either going to force the issue, guilt you into it, or find it somewhere else is right. There is a way to make it so the only 1 you have to worry about is any mindgames he might try though, a chastity device. Some might consider this extreme or harsh, but it is one way to be sure. If he won't do it, then dump him, he's not committed, but if he does, put the key in a safety deposit box and when you're ready you'll know he's made his commitment already. Having the key in a safety deposit box means that you'll have to actually go and get it to release him, and also means that he won't be able to simply find where you've hidden it.