[simoneaugie]

My ex-husband called to say that it would be great if he helped fulfill my "dream" of having several men to take care of me (and he is looking for a new living situation.) I told my current husband about it (not jealous at all)and he reminded me of how much my ex irritates both of us. He asked if I wanted to cook and clean for that guy, again.

I think of it mostly as a monetary thing. My ex would let me manage his money, totally. He wants relationship benefits but there is no way!

What pitfalls am I overlooking?

[jrebel7]

I have heard it said that "Familiarity breeds contempt!" I am not sure the fullness of the meaning of this saying. As I read your post it came to mind.

Familiarity feels good sometimes, very comforting, too comforting at times.
You've been apart time enough to forget the deeper hurts-you were drawn to him once.
Your ex has the advantage of knowing how to push your buttons, good and bad.

I would say advertise in the paper if you need a boarder for monetary gain.

[JBeaucaire]

I'm reading this as "my ex wants to move in with my husband and me." Is this correct?

You don't need a list of pitfalls. Your husband doesn't NEED to be jealous. You are the caretaker of your family and you are smart enough that you never bring home strays.

There is no argument in the world that would convince you to move your ex into your home, is there? Truly? Is there?

If he even brings it up again, shoot that down forever. "You're so cute, you never change, do you? Anyway, I can certainly make some calls from the classifieds for you. This house is off limits to boarders, even you, silly."

[nevadagirl77]

What pitfalls am I overlooking?

Having two noisy messy smelly men in your house pawing at you 24/7. I can barely let one in to visit! :p

[simoneaugie]

Thanks for the replies. Actually, I do take in strays, animals. Some animals are too screwed up and vicious to live with though. My ex's troubles have always brought me down. The buttons he pushed were beside where he thought they were, and the alarms went off.

Thanks again.

[donf]

Simone,

My immediate answer is for you to tell your ex to pound sand! First of all, you are remarried now and not available for things that make him feel better.

Next, I cannot for the life of me figure out why your current husband would be so calm about your having another man in the house to finish the job that he can't do. Pleasing you!

Please tell me you are not really considering this!


To the lady who doesn't like one guy "pawing her" let alone two. I apologize for all the slobs that have treated you poorly.

[confusedbyitall]

Simone,

I'd say that, and as grown consenting adults, as long as you aren't hurting anyone else, do it if you want, if you want to have some fun (forget the live-in situation), with an ex isn't the way to do it. That's for you and your husband to discuss, and most likely to keep quiet between yourselves, the two men situation. I mean, after all, if you dress up or play with toys or watch erotic movies or whatever it is behind closed doors, and you enjoy it, I am very happy for you and anyone with a brain would be, too. If you are sure you two are OK with experimenting.. keep those doors closed and go for it, but have the door close before sunup on him! The him in that sentence should no way be an ex! Make sure he's tested and clean!! And if you want another man to help around the house with things, without the baggage, hire a handyman to fix the leaky faucet or whatever!! Better yet, have your husband hire the handy man to have the guy type power of two around the house! For that matter... maybe the handyman could help out both in and out of the bedroom if that is a fantasy, but no way, tell the ex that while you might have fond memories, thanks for the flattery and inquiry, but no thanks, sir!

[Gernald]

I know everyone has given there two cents but I have to say mine otherwise I'll think about this all night.

You divorced him for a reason (right?)... why would you even consider letting him move in with you let alone be associated with you in any way, particularly if your married!

It's your decision though, just make sure you and your husband are happy with it, and do not regret it in the long run.

[talaniman]

Tell him its to late, you already have another guy to help your husband.

[twinkiedooter]

Simon - you need to go to the nearest wall and bang your head against it very hard for even thinking of entertaining this guy's idea. After you did a few minutes of head banging you'll feel much better, believe me. Or better yet, tell him to walk to the nearest wall and bang his head for an hour and see how he feels with his headache as he would certainly be much worse than a headache to you now.

[twinkiedooter]

Smoke - It WAS meant to be funny showing Simon just how silly her situation WOULD become if she succumbed to letting him come back... sometimes a good mental picture is worth a million words and in this case a headache is easy to picture. LOL