[Kia]

Okay, I'm in my 20's and my botfyirend is in his mid 30's. He's the oldest guy I have ever dated, but things have been going OK so far. He is churchgoing and hardworking which is nice. The only thing is that he has a preference for light skinned women, but says he doesn't trust them so he would never settle down with one; but I had to stop him from making comments to me over and over about how beautiful they are. Now I am a brownskinned african american female, and I'm attractive in my own right, but I am not light skinned. Now the isue is that my mother is very fair skinned, with long nautral wavv hair. She is very beautful, and I am am proud(wish I looked a little more like her, but that's my father's fault.. lol). My boyfriend makes comments every once iin a while and asks where she is from time to time. He also told me that he would approach her in the street if he didn't know who she was. He joked a couple times and asked if I would be mad if he stole her away from my stepfather, and other foolish stuff. I don't mind a little joking but he can be pretty arrogant, and thinks he's extremely attractive, and I'm a little nervous to bring him home to meet them because I don't want him to say or do something stupid that will totally embarrass me. I also don't want to hear him go on and on about my mother once we are alone. Just sometimes the tone in his voice when he asks where she is, just makes me wonder what his angle is at times.

I don't want to talk to him about it because I don't want to come off insecure to him, and I'm living at home right now and I find myself feeling akward or funny I guess when my mother asks to meet him. Not that I don't trust her, or would even think that she would like him; I justfeel so compared all of a sudden.

So.. am I being silly? How should I handle this situation?

[Fr_Chuck]

He sounds like you need to dump him. First his stupid idea is so raciest that you can't trust light skinned girls. That is just so for fetched. For him to really believe that and to keep talking about other women to you.

He is not the type of man just for saying this, that anyone should want to date.

Add to this his talk about your mother, not worth the trouble.

[tawnynkids]

Why consider continuing in a relationship with someone you can't trust implicitly? Seriously, I've had ex-boyfriends who joked about being with my mother because she was so beautiful... key word... ex. You should make yours one also. Sorry that is not what you want not hear I am sure. But the truth isn't always what we want to hear. You feel insecure because apparently he does little if anything at all to make you feel secure with him. That's a flag all by itself. Life is SO short, don't waste it with someone who doesn't make you feel like you are THE special one!

[JBeaucaire]

Ignoring the clear danger signals your boyfriends is THE past the frustration, misery, disappointment... later you'll say you're "confused by it all and don't know what to do"... when in truth you're just covering for his awfulness with your own heart.

As long as that's your goal, then you're doing fine.

If you're goal is catch a GOOD fish, well, time to put the line back in the water. Throw this one back.