[hjpan]

My girlfriend of one year and five month relationship dumped me. She said she doesn't love me anymore and it freaking sucks. After all this time, I question myself why was I so faithful to her? I could have cheated on her with other friends but I did not. I cajoled with her a bit to find out, but she says she doesn't have the feelings anymore. Right now, I'm just out of my head and still up. I can't sleep, think, concentrate, eat etc.

What she said afterwards was that we should be friends and date later on.

I don't know what the heck I should do =/

Please, don't say "get over it" cause that does not help.
Give good examples and such.

[bigbird213]

If you want examples, this webpage is full of them. Just check out any of the posts on the main page.

I'm not going to tell you to get over it, but you need to know that you need to move on. She told you that she doesn't have feelings for you anymore, so don't fall into the trap of trying to get her back. That doesn't work, and will probably hold you back.

Being friends with her later on is fine, as long as you and her both go through enough changes so that neither of you are the same people. You both need to understand that you cannot be friends when either of you still has feelings for the other. Then, and only then, feelings may develop and you may date again later on in life.

Regardless, you need to move forward with the assumption that you won't be dating again. If you can't do this, then you will most certainly not be able to talk with her again, let alone move on and be healthy.

[damaged]

Get over it.. easier said than done right?. I know... but like bigBird said you need to move on.. Ur ex GF told you she didn't love you anymore.. listen to what she said and let her go.. If you don't do this now, you will keep hurting.. maybe later on you guys can be friends or even date again, but don't count on that... Just accept there's nothing you could do to make her change her mind and move forward w/out looking back.. it will be hard but it's the best thing to do...

When my boyfriend broke up with me I couldn't accept his decision and kept asking why... his words " i lost what i felt for you, i don't love you anymore"... When he said that to me, I wanted to die ,but I understood there was nothing else I could do, so I let him go... It has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but Im still here.. It hurts but you will make it!.

[bigbird213]

When my boyfriend broke up with me i couldnt accept his decision and kept asking why...his words " i lost what i felt for you, i don't love you anymore"...When he said that to me, i wanted to die ,but i understood there was nothing else i could do, so i let him go...It has been the hardest thing i've ever done in my life

Its hard to hear the things people say, but at the same time you need to rationally think about it and understand that they are doing the best thing possible for you. Would you rather them hide the feelings, lie to you, then find out someday down the road that they cheated on you?

A common thing I hear people say is that "I wish he/she cheated on me so it would just be easier to get over them." WRONG! Now it hasn't happened to me, but the thought of them being with someone else turns people into piles of mush -- so knowing, for sure, that they cheated on you can NOT be helpful.

Let it go, move on, be happy. You won't believe how good you feel once you start looking inside yourself and recognizing the changes that are going on. Just expect an up and down ride.

[liz28]

Getting dumped is hard and everyone ha gotten dumped one time in their life. It oblivious that she did not deserve you. Sometimes I wish there was a cure for heartache-magical. But don't drown in it it will be hard @ least for the 1st month, but in due time will heal.

On thing you can do is look in mirror and say outloub that you don't need her and its her lost. You might have a girlfriend anymore but again it her lost and somebody else's gain

When you dumped you go through denial(but it don't seem to be the case here), anger, depression(feeling sad and), then finally acceptance.

You seem to be on the right track by relizing you did nothing wrong. Play video games, hang out with friend, volunteer somewhere, just whatever you do keep busy and stay strong and choke this up as an life experience, but try not to stay home. Oneday your meet girl that will cherish you so don't think all girls are like your ex.

[guttedone]

Don't think about her and what she is up to think about you and what you are now going to be up to!!

Basically she has made her decision and you must respect that and forget her, don't ever regret being faithful as if you start being a cheat you'll never have a nice relationship.

Think positive and concentrate on your life not hers!! I've felt how you do many a time and I've always pulled through, give yourself some time and take you mind off it and get involved in things to take you mind off it, I can recommend martial arts and weight training, you'll get fitter look better and meet someone new before you know it! At the moment you are sinking in a black hole and only you can pull yourself out, that relationship has passed and you've had that experience now you are going to have loads more experiences and its going to be great!! If you think about it its quite exciting you are going to be able to meet loads of other fit girls and have a great time,

You have a simple choice - sink into depression for a dead cause or pull yourself together and improve yourself and enjoy your life!! I know its hard but its really that straight forward in your case!!

Good luck mate

[Sikativ]

My girlfriend of one year and five month relationship dumped me. She said she doesn't love me anymore and it freaking sucks. After all this time, I question myself why was I so faithful to her? I could have cheated on her with other friends but I did not. I cajoled with her a bit to find out, but she says she doesn't have the feelings anymore. Right now, I'm just out of my head and still up. I can't sleep, think, concentrate, eat etc.

What she said afterwards was that we should be friends and date later on.

I don't know what the heck I should do =/

Please, don't say "get over it" cause that does not help.
Give good examples and such.

All good answers have come before me but I'm sure my two cents are appreciated.

Just get your mind off her, I am sure that just about everything you do reminds you of her but thinking about her is not going to help you. What is going to help you is finding things to do, making new friends, starting a new hobby, enjoying something new. Something fresh, so fresh that you can smell how fresh it is!

Only you can make the decision, we can't make it for you.

-Sik

p.s.- Not eating only makes you feel like crap. I suggest getting something small, a bag of chips or something of the like, and go from there. You will feel a lot better and you'll be able to clear your mind, which will only help yourself even more.

[hjpan]

Thank you guys~

She says she wants to be friends, but she doesn't want to visit me..

I'm like "... how is this friendship if you're not wanting to visit your friend..?"

For some reason, I have dreams about her still.. I try not to think, but I'm lacking sleep with the situation. I don't know why it's hard for me to get over her =/


On the side note, I've talked with my parents and ex-girlfriend about joining the Army. All of them agreed, but my ex was worried about me getting shipped out. Thinking about it, I really don't know what to do with my life. I want to be in mental health field and a military career; street-racing and car-tuning as my hobbies...

I feel so empty D;

[liz28]

She probulary just said she wants to be friends just to say it but didn't mean it, so why do you care. You need to let go and being friends will not cure your heart but only give you false hope and open up all the pain that your trying to get over.

Take this time to do something that you want like go back to school or your hobbies you like to do except execpt street racing, it is dangeeous and at times deadly. Stop worrying about her and stop accepting the fact that's its over so you can heal

[talaniman]

What you feel is natural and normal and all humans go through it, but since your in the middle of it, all you feel is pain. For sure you will have to man up and get over it, whether you want to hear it or not, or you run the risk of drowning in your own shat!

Click on the links in my signature, and get some insights, and suggestions, as to how to best cope with your situation. We are here to clarify any questions you have.

In the meantime give her what she asks for, and leave her alone, and dissappear from her life, until you can get yours together.

[JBeaucaire]

Believe me when I say you WILL get over this hurt, though you will probably always care for her deeply.

I wanted to comment about your asking:

After all this time, I question myself why was I so faithful to her? I could have cheated on her with other friends but I did not.

You need to keep your character and hers separate in your mind. You don't treat your girlfriends well because they treat you well, you treat them well because you are a great guy!

Faithfulness and commitment are character traits you should be proud of. You did not waste a single moment with her. The good you do in life for the sole benefit of another person is its own reward.

There are so many men who never learn this. You're already ahead of the game.

Someday you will find a girl who gives to you unconditionally the way you give when you're with a girl. Don't stop giving! And try not to get down on yourself when things end, MOST relationships end. It's OK. It hurts, but you're doing great!

If you are trying to learn anything from your time with this girl, make sure it's NOT to be less faithful next time. You keep being the awesome you that makes everyone who ever gets close to him glad they did.

[alwaystrue]

Hey, stay away from her don't worry about her being your friends, don't you have friends?

You got played by her you didn't play her!

I dreamed about my ex's and so what, its just a dream, but we don't live in dreams we live in reality so face it.

Go throw some cold water on your face or pince yourself, your see she gone. Be happy that she gone and someone else headache and she get what coming to her, cause "karma" will get her.

Be like Tupac and keep your head up.

[hjpan]

*sigh*

I got the phone with my mom since she has been a doctor for over 28 years and very spiritual. We talked for a bit and she said to give myself some space.

@ alwaystrue:

that is what my mom said... except the first part of throwing water at myself or pinching..

Believe me when I say you WILL get over this hurt, though you will probably always care for her deeply.

I wanted to comment about your asking:

You need to keep your character and hers separate in your mind. You don't treat your girlfriends well because they treat you well, you treat them well because you are a great guy!

Faithfulness and commitment are character traits you should be proud of. You did not waste a single moment with her. The good you do in life for the sole benefit of another person is its own reward.

There are so many men who never learn this. You're already ahead of the game.

Someday you will find a girl who gives to you unconditionally the way you give when you're with a girl. Don't stop giving! And try not to get down on yourself when things end, MOST relationships end. It's OK. It hurts, but you're doing great!

If you are trying to learn anything from your time with this girl, make sure it's NOT to be less faithful next time. You keep being the awesome you that makes everyone who ever gets close to him glad they did.

I was talking to a friend of mine and she said that my quality as a guy is what most girls would want. I said "well, no girls have asked me out except my ex.."

my mom said I should give some time to myself...

Yay!! I'm finally graduating from High School! May 30th is the date if you're wondering. Life has been good to me lately, except for a few issues with some friends. I'm finally 18, a legal adult. Grad Bash and Prom was AWESOME!! And I'm moving to San Francisco, CA to pursue my BFA in Computer Animation. I'm going to MetroCon in July and enjoy my whole summer before college.

that's what she says in her profile... I am suspecting something =/

[sampatrick]

It seems she is upset with something or else she isn't feeling comfortable with you. Every successful relationship is based on friendship. Try to know her likes and dislikes just by being her friend. Be at her side when she need you the most. Win her trust. Make her feel that no matter what, you will be by her side always. Be her best friend. I know this is tough but love makes everything easier. You can send her best friends day cards on coming 8th June, along with a gift as a token of friendship and love.

[talaniman]

I'm going to MetroCon in July and enjoy my whole summer before college.

Now that explains a few things.

[ka1111]

Someday you will find a girl who gives to you unconditionally the way you give when you're with a girl.

Yeah,right... When hell freezes.

I'm thinking more and morenow that becoming a total @$$hole IS the way to go.

I'm certainly going to give it a try.The other guy gets screwed EVERY time.

[bigbird213]

Yeah,right...When hell freezes.

I'm thinking more and morenow that becoming a total @$$hole IS the way to go.

I'm certainly gonna give it a try.The other guy gets screwed EVERY time.

I disagree. It has a lot to do with the women you get involved in.

Being an @$$hole isn't the way to go, but there is a fine line between being a nice guy and being a pushover. Nice guy = good, weak man = bad.

At the same time, there is a fine line between standing up for yourself and being independent, and crossing the line into being a dead beat boyfriend.

[ka1111]

I disagree. It has a lot to do with the women you get involved in.

Being an @$$hole isn't the way to go, but there is a fine line between being a nice guy and being a pushover. Nice guy = good, weak man = bad.

At the same time, there is a fine line between standing up for yourself and being independent, and crossing the line into being a dead beat boyfriend.

Hmmm...

I'm feeling for you lad,I've been there.You just need one more slap in your face to really get it through your skin.Ask yourself one question-truthfully : would you rather be them or you right now?


You're still thinking about them.I'm thinking about me.Starting to,anyway.You see,when you are the @$$hole,you just don't care.Nothing can touch you.Which is,going from here (this losers little place where we feel sorry for our pathetic selves) to there (blissful apathy and oblivion).PROGRESS.I used to believe that that wasn't cool.But I was just too naïve,romantic and young.No more of that.I've learned my lesson.

[bigbird213]

I'm sorry, but I still disagree. Maybe your definition of an a-hole is different than mine.

I see no joy, or gain, in being the guy making your girlfriend cry. Treating her like dirt and turning the situation around. I have no desire to have a controlling grip on a girl so that she will never leave. In my mind, an ahole is the guy who doesn't call, blows her off, and could care less what happens with the relationship. An ahole is the guy who will find a girl to sleep with 2 days after the breakup. That's my definition.

Maybe our definitions vary, but I don't wish to be that guy, nor will I ever.

EDIT: I agree that you need to think about yourself. Where I disagree is that you need to be an to think about yourself. A little selfish? Maybe, but it's not even that. More like self-sufficient.

[hjpan]

I'm all lost... we're talking about a--holes?