[mimi03]

I have a small problem with a co-worker, I need suggestions!
SORRY THIS SO LONG!
I work at a Nursery and she and I care for children ages 2,3 and 4...
She seems like a fairly nice person but she's overweight (I would venture to say obese) but this certainly isn't the problem. My issue is that she has a terrible body odor, we interact with the children in opposite ways (so our styles do not match) and her clothes do not fit her properly...

Ok so about the BO, I thought about telling our boss that she had a hygiene problem since she started working there but didn't feel that it was my place but it became worse and now the entire room starts to smell like her BO by the end of the workday... so I finally told our boss and she said she'd pray about it... still nothing has changed and just the other day I over heard a couple talking about the odor in the room, I was embarrassed and wonder if there is anything more I can do about this... the smell is overwhelming!

We interact differently... what I mean by this is: I refuse to yell at the children but she does all day long! She does not play with the children or participate in any activities she just sits around, she barely participates at all besides yelling across the room... some are still in diapers, she never changes their diapers EVER... at the end of the day she doesn't help clean the room (we have to keep things as sanitary as possible) she doesn't contribute... the list goes on

And about her clothes not fitting her properly... the crack of her behind is constantly showing as well as her stomach and sometimes I think she doesn't wear a bra (these days she has worn a jacket though, but it was unzipped)... the children notice her unprofessional attire and have even made comments about her dirty feet... one child even said "why are you so fat, you are sooo fat"... I immediately stepped in and led him out of the room and gave him a nice but stern talk about saying that to her, I made him come back in and apologize and then I explained to the others that we do not call each other names. Later she told me that, what I did was unnecessary the kid is stupid anyway...

So, what should or could I do to make this work environment better. Is it my place to talk to her about this OR should I just tell our boss everything and hope she works it out?
ANY suggestion will be greatly appreciated!
SORRY SO LONG!

[Fr_Chuck]

Well I think I would just tell her that it is a problem, And I would tell the boss that praying is great but she has a obligation to act on the problem.

I also would not be doing all of her work, if she is suppose to be changing some diapers, report it all to the boss, report it every day.

[mimi03]

Thanks Fr_Chuck, I definitely think I should tell my boss everything. It's a little uncomfortable but I need to do it.

[Sissy14]

I have been in management for over 10 years and I have had situations in which I had to address an employees BO/dirty clothes/unprofessional appearances even with male employees (I am a female). If handled properly it may be an uncomfortable discussion but have a positive out come. Your boss must address it with her. Also you are not doing yourself any favors by not letting your boss know that she is not doing her job that she was hired to do. A clean and professional appearance is important to all types of business. Nice job on how you handled the situation w/the little boy! Good luck I hope your situation gets better for you.

[sasha_1]

On reading about your co-worker's attitude, and if I understood right, I would not even discuss these issues with her. If I were you, I would straight go to the boss. It's her job to manage people and that's why she's the boss.

Regarding the cleaning up, if you do not have any division of work and you are being overloaded, mention these too also to your boss.

[danielnoahsmommy]

I have worked with this age group so I do have a little experience with your clientele. First and foremost you must report it and request that something be done. Also put you complaint in writing. She should not be working with children if this is the behavior she demonstrates

[Wondergirl]

She very possibly doesn't keep herself clean, is sitting so much (and yelling), and isn't helping with the cleanup simply because of her weight and the difficulty in moving around. Once someone can't do those things any longer, it's easier to act out and be obnoxious. (She's on the defensive.) She probably can't sit down in a tub for a bath, and taking a shower might have its own difficulties. Can she reach her feet to wash them? I bet she wears shoes/sandals that she just slides her bare feet into. Doing laundry might be a real chore with the bending and carrying, especially if she has to go into a basement or to a laundromat. So, my thinking is that she isn't being deliberately disagreeable. It's all part of her weight problem.

Ok, what to do about this. Well, the boss has to see and smell what is in front of her. By praying about it, she is only avoiding the issue. She IS the boss, so she is going to have to discuss this with her employee who is causing offense not only to another employee but also to the customers. I think it can be done in a kind way with suggestions offered. There are so many products on the market to help the disabled (and yes, she is that). A little creativity and imagination could really change this woman's life for the better!

[mimi03]

Thanks everyone! I think everyone is right and you are all so helpful... I really needed this push to do the right thing, and that's to lay everything out for my boss to handle.

I really just didn't want to deal with this or be the one to make all of these complaints about her because I feel sad for her because I know her weight has to be holding her back a little but I think it will definitely help everyone involved if my boss handles this situation responsibly and with compassion given all the info I'll provide!

[Wondergirl]

Think of it as not "complaints" but caring about your coworker and wanting her to enjoy life more. Certainly other people in other parts of her life notice the same things you do. You and your boss would be doing her a favor to come up with useful and helpful ideas.