Am I being used?

mydrinknmy2step · May 28, 2008, 03:01 PM

Hey!
OK so imma freshman & I met this junior boy about 3 months ago... all right so about a month ago, he started asking me to meet up with him to "do stuff" so all right we make out and he felt me up some... alright so I'm pretty sure he has a thing for me... and vice versa... but he doesn't want me telling anyone! He told me to delete all our text messages and not mention what we do to anyone- so I'm not sure what this means... is he using me?

talaniman · May 28, 2008, 03:43 PM

Yes he is bigtime.

liz28 · May 28, 2008, 03:44 PM

Is he already involved with someone at the college that you attend? If it not that then it sounds like he's ashamed of you but willing to make out with you whenever possible while no one looking. Did you express how you felt about this issue? Leave him alone and never let someone treat you this way. Also when out in the open does he ignores you?

igman · May 28, 2008, 03:45 PM

I agree. Most boys at his age are playing the field and respecting a girl is usually not the first thing on their mind.

mydrinknmy2step · May 28, 2008, 03:53 PM

Liz- he's not in a relationship with anyone... but in the open he doesn't want me hugging him or anything, he says hey and we talk/walk together but when were alone we can do whateverr. I've asked him why no one can know and I haven't really gotten a straight answer so I don't know

liz28 · May 28, 2008, 04:24 PM

Don't let him toy with you only on his terms whch basically is when no one arounds like your having a affair that only when someone would try to hid you, but he's not married. Unless you like this situation, I know you don't, leave him alone. Whatever he can with you alone he should be able to do with everyone around, don't you think. That's why he can't give you a straight answer so don't get used for someone else fulfillment.

JBeaucaire · May 28, 2008, 05:24 PM

You're a Freshman in High School?

mydrinknmy2step · May 28, 2008, 05:39 PM

Alrightt. Thanks liz! You have some good advice :)
And yeah I'm in highschoool... haha sorry about that

talaniman · May 28, 2008, 05:42 PM

You think this post is weird, read this one.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ma-207770.html,
Sorry dear you are much to wild with the boys for your own good.

JBeaucaire · May 28, 2008, 06:02 PM

Freshman in High School. OK, now your post makes sense.

The guy wants to keep you two feeling each other up a secret because his friends would think he's a dweeb for doing it with Freshman instead of the more mature Sophomore girls. He likes what you're letting him "get" and doesn't want to stop that, but has no interest in letting it get out to anyone that he's hanging out with you at all.

He's protecting himself while still having fun on you. And making sure you keep quiet and don't embarrass him in public in any way.

What does that sound like to YOU? Is he using you?

mydrinknmy2step · May 28, 2008, 06:24 PM

Well, that all sounds right
So the question is.. does he like me or not?
... if he does then is this OK? Because he's just embarrassed... I mean wouldn't you be too? (I don't have low self esteem, I'm just saying in general a frshman w. a junior) oh yeah &i left out the fact that I'm white and he's black...

JBeaucaire · May 28, 2008, 06:48 PM

So, you are saying that you are going to change what you're doing based on what you think he thinks? Hon, that's no way to make your choices.

All that matters is that you are perfectly OK with what you're doing, how you're doing it, the secrecy and all when in public, it only matters if this is what you want. But, you will never know how they "feel" about you based on this behavior.

You can secretly meet up with anyone you want and let him "do stuff" and all you know is that he likes the "stuff."

Start requiring some public demonstrations of regular affection to you, see how that flies. Right now, all you two have is private petting. Is that all you want?

mydrinknmy2step · May 28, 2008, 07:09 PM

Well nah, I'm not going to change what I'm doing
Wow you're so right though! I never thought about that...
You see the thing is I like him too but its just I guess other people's thoughts about us is apparently a big factor in our relationship.. so I don't know!
Thank you for all you're help :) I really really appreciate all of this.. youre helping me out so much

igman · May 29, 2008, 08:30 AM

I totally agree with you JB. 2step, I know you have more respect for yourself than that. I would suggest to stop "making out" with this guy altogether.

damaged · May 29, 2008, 09:17 AM

Why should he be embarrassed?. because your white and he's black? because your a freshman and he's a junior?. hmmm.. it doesn't sound too g0od... Stop making out or w/e your doing with him.. If he's serious about you, he'll introduce you to his friends.. and if he doesn't just forget about it... you can find someone better who's not embarrassed by you.

mydrinknmy2step · May 29, 2008, 02:08 PM

All right yeah... you guys are all amazing :) thanks for all the advice
And I'm going to take it... I only have like 3 more days of finals and then I'm out for the summer! So I'm going to just forget about him... thanks again everyone !

liz28 · May 29, 2008, 02:44 PM

In the future don't let race be issue. I'm black and dating a white guy, we care what peoole think nor say. I know you was not making it an issue, but ever your seeing he should never be ashame.

I glad that you made the right decision to leave him alone. Good luck with your finals!