[jezickca87]

My b/f and I have been together for 1 year.. everything has been great. But we do have one issue I'm a smoker (cigarettes) and he is not.. about a year ago I had was living a huge party life. all I did was drink and smoke (MJ) everyday. My b/f was never a drinker/smoker.. my party days ended when I met my b/f. he helped me stop that lifestyle and become more positive. In doing so I no longer talk to the people I once use to, basically, I am friendless. Because everyone I hung out with we're huge party people (drinkers/smokers). Now my b/f has a huge problem with my nicotine addiction. I have tried to quit before, (lasted 2 weeks) I have looked into medications to help me quit called Chantix. When doing research on the medication I found out that there are serious risks related to Chantix as well. I am 100% aware that cigarettes are bad for me, I have had this addiction since 13 I am now 21. I only smoke when he is not around. My b/f says by me being a smoker I'm hurting him, and it makes me feel very guilty. I have told him to do research on nicotine addiction, and he hasn't. Also, he was fully aware before we made our relationship official of my smoking habit. I tell him how bad the nicotine addiction is, I explain to him the symptoms is feel and how I feel overall bad hours without a cigarette. And with all that said he will not accepted it. So now I have conditioned myself not to smoke when I'm with him. #1 because I respect him not have the smoke near him. #2 I always make 100% effort not to have the lingering smell of smoke on me (brush my teeth, wash hands, lotion, even shower) when we are about to hang out. Also, it doesn't help that my b/f's father is a smoker and the smell of cig. Acts as a trigger.I believe that my b/f has more of a dislike to smoking b.c of the smell as oppose to the over health risk. Because I have asked him to look up info about nicotine addiction, and have explained to him how bad I feel, and makes no effort. Maybe that is too big of an assumption but if he hasn't looked into my problem. It makes me believe that he has a personal dislike toward cigarette. So, is a smoker and non-smoker wasting there time trying to make it work.. as of now I am not ready to quit. All that relpy thank you very much for your input:)

[talaniman]

I'm a smoker, my wife of more than 30 years is not.
I never smoke in the house, or around the kids. (grandkids now)
If your willing to work together to solve your issues, to the benefit of you both, you'll make it.

[smearcase]

Talaniman desrves a lot of credit for making that work.
Jezickca87, can you make that work? Do you have somewhere to smoke when it pours rain for 3 days straight? Will you be able to contol the odor that he finds offensive? Will your heath insurance and/or his insurance have very high rates because of smoking? Will he be upset with the high cost of cigarettes?
I smoked for about 30 yrs and finally quit and I know its not easy and I am not trying to deliver a sermon to you. The nicotine addiction stops us from considering the detrimental qualities of smoking. But you have prob daily reminders from your b/f to help you. There is no doubt that the best thing for you to do is quit. The harmful effects of cigarettes are extremely well documented. It may take a while but sooner or later you will suffer a lot more from the diseases than from nicotine withdrawal now. Best of luck to you.

[liz28]

Quitting smoking was hard for me and I did it cold turkey, but I did it for myself and I like you used to get trigger by the smoke and felt like drug addict going through withdraw but I got through it. At the time I had a disapproval boyfriend but at least he helped me and I took it one day at a time. I chewed gum and sucked on lollipops when I got the urge. The first week was a killer and by the third it was easy. It seems you did alots for him but this is something where you really is going need his support and he should be there instead of threating to leave because it an addiction problem over anything. Google free patches where they can send you brochures on battling not smoking and patches. Overall do it for you and not him, then you can focus on it more clearly and it going to take a lot of will power.

[Fr_Chuck]

It can be hard, but yes, if you smoke in the house, I could tell if I walked into your home, most non smokers who is bothered by smoke can smell it on your clothes ( if they are just in the closet in your home where you smoke)

I have to wash my clothes as soon as I come home, the smell bothers my wife seriously, and I am in sales, just being around people who smoke can upset her.

In the end, I will guess you have to make a choice of what is more inportant in your life. I normally will say people should not change, but if the change is a habit that effects their health that is often somewhat different. But in the end only you can decide how important this is .