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evergreenstate · May 23, 2008, 09:39 AM

:confused: My daughters best friend showed up at our house yesterday - bags in hand - as her mother kicked her out of the house. She's 15 years old and we have been friends with her family for 10+ years. Anyway, the mother has serious emotional problems and is verbally abusive to her daughter. She doesn't trust her and this girl is a good egg. She has kicked her out before but not to this extent. Not sure what rights she has (daughter) but she does not want to go back home, as of now. The mother doesn't know where her daughter is (and obviously doesn't care). I guess I want to know what rights I have by taking her in, if any, and how I can protect this child. Thanks for any advice. I live in Washington state, if her location is a factor in laws.

Fr_Chuck · May 23, 2008, 09:53 AM

I wish you said you had all sorts of rights, but no, and in fact if the mother latter wishes to claim the girl ran away, you could even find yourself in legal trouble and under investigation of children and family services.

So what you need to do is call children and family services and report this, they may take the girl into custody or may allow her to staty there for now,

progunr · May 23, 2008, 09:54 AM

There are risks involved in your situation.

At some point, the mother, if that unstable, could claim the daughter ran away. If she reports that to the authorities, you could be charged with harboring a minor/runaway.

Not that I am saying you should throw her out, just want you to be aware of some of the possibilities involved in your rescue.

I've done things similar to your situation that sometimes, came back to bite me in the butt.
You could report the mother to the authorities, but even that can backfire when the teen daughter sees mom in trouble and suddenly changes her story, putting you in the bad light.

It is a tough call, you want to help and do the right thing, but that sometimes works out much differently than we picture in our heads.

I guess, were it me, I would at least report to the authorities, the situation. Give them the story you were given, and tell them that you just want to be on record in case the mom gets crazy, and tries to report the daughter as a run away.

Sonador101 · May 23, 2008, 09:59 AM

Hi I am mostly unaware of the legal aspect, but am familiar with the emotinal one, if the child was kicked out by her mother and her mother isn't even looking for her and verbally abused her I don't think this is a good or safe parent, like someone else said, contact social services and explain your situation, say how her mother kicked her our and how she is abusive toward her duaghter. Perhaps she will be alowd to stay with you, and maybe her custadoy will be removed. But you need to contact the,m

evergreenstate · May 23, 2008, 10:14 AM

Okay. Oh, I forgot to add that her father (mother & father have never been married but he does pay child support) contacted me late last night and he would prefer she stay with me, as she attends the same school as my kids, etc... He lives about 30 miles away and it would be impossible for him to get her to school, etc.. And feels it better that she is here until school ends late June, then they'll figure out what to do. He is a great guy and he is a friend of ours. Not sure if he has partial "legal" custody of her or what but I will speak with him later on tonight - he had to work at 3am and will be off around noon today. Sorry I didn't add that in my initial posting.

ScottGem · May 23, 2008, 10:17 AM

That certainly makes a difference. I would suggest that he put it in writing that he is aware of the situation and has asked if the girl can stay with you until school is done.

I think that will protect you.

evergreenstate · May 23, 2008, 10:19 AM

Okay, great.. thanks, Scott. I will do that! :-)

MsMewiththat · May 23, 2008, 11:06 AM

I agree with what people have posted. Your in a very dangerous situation. I want to add that I think you might want to contact the mother as well. One, to get to the heart of the truth, and two, to establish with her that the daughter is staying with you and you might be able to get her to put something in writing too. If she really wants her out of her house she might be more than willing to sign her over, this will come in handy for a lot of reasons. Medical etc. Regardless of how unstable the woman is she needs to be in the loop and if she contacts the authorities she will be just as much to blame for the situation, if she truly "kicked her out"

ScottGem · May 23, 2008, 11:13 AM

Yes you do need to make sure the mother knows where she is.

cdad · May 23, 2008, 11:33 AM

You might also contact local shelters for teens that have been abused and they may be able to advise you also as Im sure they have experience with this type of situation. Be sure to keep a diary and any agreements you come to with either parent make sure its in writing. The father can and should apply for custody now under emergency order of the court. That way he can assign to you temp power of attorney to act in his behalf for the child's welfare.. i.e. to finish school in your district or if emergency medical attention is needed.

evergreenstate · May 23, 2008, 11:52 AM

I just spoke to her father on the phone and he had called his attorney and will be applying for custody. He has a feeling that her mother will give up rights to her... all the better. He also told me that he has a taped message on his answering machine from her mother saying, "Your daughter needs to live with you now..." he said he's not erasing it and told his attorney about it... hopefully, after the holiday weekend, he can get this ball rolling.

MsMewiththat · May 23, 2008, 12:16 PM

Does the father have any custodial rights, joint legal or physical custody. If this gets ugly it could make for a long weekend.

Best of luck to you all and way to go to you for taking in this child and taking care of her. We need more people in this world like you. Have a safe weeekend!

evergreenstate · May 23, 2008, 12:29 PM

I'm not sure - he has visitation rights and I don't know anything beyond that. This sweet girl, I love her like she is my own... she has grown up with my kids and has been a "part of our family" since her and my daughter became close friends in kindergarten (10 years ago) so it's not hard for me to take her in. She's here at our house all the time, anyway, so naturally, she ran to me when this all went down. I just want the best for her. I truly believe that her mother won't come for her... she has 3 other kids, all from different fathers, and all she focuses on is the next man that she can move into her house from month to month... seriously... it's a bad home for all the kids and I feel so sorry for all of them. I will take everyone's advice to heart. Thank all of you so very much for caring to respond! You are so appreciated.