[batgirl2009]

For those of you who have been waiting for me to write about boys my own age... one will come up in this story! He is a main character but this isn't really about him... I just mention him.

Okay... So I have a best friend (a girl) and she tends to embellish the truth all the time. And not about stupid things like whether she did her homework but about things like what happened between her and a guy. So she recently told me a story about an interaction that she had with an ex boyfriend of hers. I had never met him before and even though I had a feeling that she hadn't told me the whole truth with things before I had never been able to prove it. She always had good things to say about this guy until here recently. She told me this whole long story about how he physically and verbally abused her. But when I told her that I was going to talk to our counselor about it, the story changed a bit and she begged me not to get anyone involved. At that point I got in contact with her ex. He admitted that he was ashamed of what happened that night but that she exaggerated some parts and made other parts up entirely. So there was a bit of truth in her story and he admitted to that even though he was ashamed that it had happened.

I don't understand why she feels the need to lie about this. This isn't the first time either. I don't want to call her out on it because every time I have tried to do that in the past she plays dumb and it gets no where. But I want her to know that I know the truth and I'm sick of her lying to the people she calls her best friends. What am I supposed to do? She is my best friend and I care about her but she is ruining all the trust that I thought we had.

[rodandy12]

There are "best friends" and there are best friends. What you do depends on where you are in the relationship. If she lies all the time, she is insecure. She is trying to impress you. Maybe all her other friends are tired of her crap. If you want to fix this behavior, you are going to have to stick with her.

It sounds like you have pointed out in the past to her that she lies. If you have done it in such a way that she knows you know, you might try acting like you don't trust anything she says... closely question anything she tells you. If she wants to maintain the friendship, she might stop lying because you are making it too difficult for her.

I think you care enough for her that you would like her to stop it for her own sake. At some point, you need to tell her that you like her for herself. She doesn't need to lie for your approval.

[batgirl2009]

She is one of my closest friends and you are very right. She is VERY insecure with herself. She always tries to compare herself to others and then is upset when she isn't as good. I know I have to stick with her. I wouldn't consider giving her up. She's my little bud. We are very close.

Tough love is difficult for me, I have always struggled with it. But I will give it a try. I just don't know how to bring it up.

You are right. I care a lot about her and I don't want her lying to get her or someone who is innocent in trouble. And because we are probably going to different colleges I'm not always going to be right there to clean up her messes and smooth things over. Do you really think it's approval? Because it's weird stuff to lie about. Like that boy was so close to being formally charged with assault and it turns out that he didn't do anything. Why would something like that make her think that I'd approve of her more?

[lyn89]

I think you just need to talk to her and encourage her to be honest and be herself! I have two little siblings who are still in high school and they are the most insecure beings ever...

Whatever her reasons are for lying, just try to be a good friend (I can see that you are trying hard) and just sit down and have some serious one on one girl talk...


Good luck!

[batgirl2009]

Okay... I will try and do that! I will see. I kind of promised the guy that he wouldn't get in trouble for anything that he said.

I will try to be a good friend. Thank you SO much!