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dma73 · May 20, 2008, 06:29 PM

My ex has had custody of our 9yr old for 2 yrs now. My son never wanted to leave and keeps telling his dad he wants to come home. We are going back to court soon and my son wants to know if he can tell the judge to let him come home. Will he have an input in this decision?

Missing my baby

ScottGem · May 20, 2008, 06:35 PM

A "child" never gets to choose. A child can express their preference, but the decision rests with the judge to decide what's in the best interest of the child.

There must have been a reason why your ex was awarded custody. Unless something has materially changed its not likely to be changed.

tawnynkids · May 20, 2008, 06:38 PM

That is really best answered by a lawyer in your area who would have a good sense of what the judge in that county will do. In general though, a judge certainly can listen to the desires of a child. The age is usually whenever the judge feels a child has some maturity. It is respectively approximately around 12. BUT that is not to say that a judge will not listen to a younger child because they have and will. It just all depends. It is far more common in cases where the parties have to go to mediation though that the opinions, desires of a child will be heard through a mediator at as early an age of 6. Where I live every case goes to mediation first and every child (6 and older) that is party to the case is told to attend so the mediator can speak with them. (They are NEVER asked who they want to live with though!) If the child clearly states a desire one way or the other it can very well be documented in the mediators report for the judge.

Hope that helps a bit. But really, talk to a lawyer they tend to know "their own" judges.

Fr_Chuck · May 20, 2008, 06:43 PM

At 9 yes some judges will ask him what he wants, but they will also look at all of the original issues, as to good home

stinawords · May 20, 2008, 07:37 PM

Both of these people are correct. The judge may allow his testimoney as to his preference but until he is 18 he can not choose where to live.

JudyKayTee · Jul 21, 2008, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by tawnynkids

That is really best answered by a lawyer in your area who would have a good sense of what the judge in that county will do. In general though, a judge certainly can listen to the desires of a child. The age is usually whenever the judge feels a child has some maturity. It is respectively approximately around 12. BUT that is not to say that a judge will not listen to a younger child because they have and will. It just all depends. It is far more common in cases where the parties have to go to mediation though that the opinions, desires of a child will be heard through a mediator at as early an age of 6. Where I live every case goes to mediation first and every child (6 and older) that is party to the case is told to attend so the mediator can speak with them. (They are NEVER asked who they want to live with though!) If the child clearly states a desire one way or the other it can very well be documented in the mediators report for the judge.

Hope that helps a bit. But really, talk to a lawyer they tend to know "their own" judges.

This must depend on the State because it is certainly not the case in NYS. In NYS the Judge will interview a child at 12 and request that a law guardian be appointed for the procedure but the child's "opinion" carries no weight - it's what the investigation of both parents reveals that determines custody.

tawnynkids · Jul 21, 2008, 09:59 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

This must depend on the State because it is certainly not the case in NYS. In NYS the Judge will interview a child at 12 and request that a law guardian be appointed for the procedure but the child's "opinion" carries no weight - it's what the investigation of both parents reveals that determines custody.

I did not say it was a guarantee. Further I did say they needed to speak with a lawyer. I said it all depends, I gave no guarantees or absolutes. However, the OP said 'in Nebraska' and I do have personal knowledge about that state as that is where my daughter is now located. And the age there is respectively 12. And I am sorry the child's opinion can carry weight in some states. I know of at least 5 states that this is correct. My daughter was 8 and the mediator based part of his decision on my daughters testimony to him during mediation. There was no GAL appointed. But that is my state as I said. Either way a child never gets to decide, period.

JudyKayTee · Jul 22, 2008, 06:53 AM

Originally Posted by tawnynkids

I did not say it was a guarantee. Further I did say they needed to speak with a lawyer. I said it all depends, I gave no guarantees or absolutes. However, the OP said 'in Nebraska' and I do have personal knowledge about that state as that is where my daughter is now located. And the age there is respectively 12. And I am sorry the child's opinion can carry weight in some states. I know of at least 5 states that this is correct. My daughter was 8 and the mediator based part of his decision on my daughters testimony to him during mediation. There was no GAL appointed. But that is my state as I said. Either way a child never gets to decide, period.

I wasn't confronting you - I'm sorry you read it that way. I was saying that's not how it is in NYS.