[Kimsang]

She's my colleage, and also my friend. I always help her with everything, she likes me. Whenever she's upset or has some problem, always let me know. Every time I ask her to go out, she never reject. I do love her, but I don't have enough courage to let her know. I can only show her my feelings. Can you advise what I should do? What is the best way to start saying that "I love you?" Or should I continue keeping the relationship like this without knowing how she feels to me?

[Skrypt]

You can do things to help such as;
Write a poem, give a gift and when you're in that intimate atmosphere, take a leap of faith and tell her.
You'll feel so weightless when you do.

[serena6878]

I think your smile must be brilliant when facing her:)
When a person treats another person well, she could feel it.
"I love you", needs a test of time.

[bigbird213]

If she has no idea how you feel for her then saying "I love you" is far in the future.

The best way to find out if she has feelings for you too is to talk with her. Tell her how you feel. If she is a true friend, even if she doesn't feel the same she won't hold it against you. You really have nothing to lose. If you don't get the answer you want, you can spend your time moving away from that and finding someone new. If you get the answer you want, then you can enjoy her companionship.

[Chery]

How long have you been friends?

How does she show you that she likes you - more than beyond friendship?

When she's upset and lets you know - is it work related only, or does she share other parts of her life with you and does she ask your opinion?

Do you ask her out for lunch only, or also dinner and a movie or a walk in the park?

Have you two gone beyond just talking - like holding hands while walking or hugs and a few kisses already?

You don't have to answer these questions here in writing, but it would help. Just answer them to yourself and be honest though. If she is not blind, she already knows that you are very attracted to her and actions speak louder than words - so reflect on what her body language has been telling you.

In my opinion, unless she is showing interest outside of the workplace or public lunch, I would save the 'I love you' for a time.. after you have shared common interests, thoughts and goals for the future, and her willingness for more intimacy with you - not sex - but other gestures of closeness. Time and nature will then take it's course and you'll know when it's really love or just a strong one-sided attraction.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

If the attraction is mutual, believe me, you'll get the message.

[Computech29]

Well, young man it's imperative that you allow time. Love is like fine wine, if aged properly it's priceless. Once you make the collective mental and physical commitment to loving someone there's no turning back without someone getting hurt in the process. Allow time to further nurture the relationship and let the chemistry build, Then, and only then you discover the ingredients of a relationship destined for longevity. Please continue with the sweet deeds. Buy tons of roses, candy, and teddy bears. Remember, DON'T RUSH anything. Let the relationship flow and embrace the Euphoria you speak so fond of.


God Bless and Good Luck.

[Chery]

Welcome dear. Let us know if we can help you any time.

Sometimes it just takes someone from the outside, looking in.

Good luck.

[Kimsang]

I really want to tell her about my feelings, even if the answer from her is negative but I really want to let her know. Whenever I stay with her, and want to tell her about this; I can't speak it out, even I have practised myself at home to say " I love you". You know, I always blame to myself... No courage!

[talaniman]

Hard to answer without a time frame. If its been less time than 6 months just enjoy yourself, and make sure she is having fun, getting to know each other. The words will come.

[Romefalls19]

Continue to get to know her, short time frame and you drop a bomb like that, it could scare her away. Just take some time and enjoy getting to know her better

[Kimsang]

Well, I just want to let her know that I do love her though the answer from her is negative. She knows how I feel toward her, we have known each other for almost 6 months! She might likes me, but not LOVE. We always go out together, dinners, shopping, sightseeing & seeing Sunrise etc...
We are colleagues, whenever she gets trouble; I always be with her, help her out. She normally shares her problem to me either personal or at work. Sometimes she gets sick, I really worry about her, I bought her some medicines and tried to find her favorite food for her.
All I do for her, I just want to get only 1 thing from her, it's "LOVE". Many times already, I want to say I LOVE YOU but I could not say it out, because I am afraid of getting the negative answer from her. I really scare to face to the reality, how can I do if she rejects it? We are working in 1 team, so it might be hard for me to meet her everyday, and have to smile at her as usual!
I feel unhappy because of this, maybe she just likes me, treats me as a good friend only. I am very depressed now.

[JBeaucaire]

You have to get over your need for equal feelings. Reciprocity is rare. ONLY expressing thoughts and feelings you think will be returned is an awful and depressing limitation to put on your heart. And it's unnecessary.

On an aside - you need to be able to acknowledge that most relationships end. That being the case, your goal in every relationship is to learn everything you can. That means honesty with yourself, your feelings, your needs, your character, your environment, and a LOT of paying attention.

You feel something? Show it! Say it if you must, but guys most effectively speak with their actions. You don't follow your heart and pursue a relationship ONLY because you know ahead of time she feels / thinks the same way. Who wants to live like that?

I asked a girl out 6 times, got 6 "no thanks". On the 7th she finally "gave in" and we had a fun time. I was DEFINITELY the first one to say "I love you" and made the first moves... well, we've been married 23 years now.

So, needing her to be in the same place as you all along the way is an unnecessary restriction. Lose it.

Go for it. Most relationships won't work out, if things aren't going to work out for you two, make sure it ends with he fully aware of your feelings and your intentions. Don't leave anything in the bag. OK?

Then, do the same thing on your next endeavor. My wife was the 4th person I ever loved this deeply, so it takes time to find a match, and one that IS reciprocal when you finally pop the question.

Until then, go for it.

[Kimsang]

We are friends for more than 6 months, and we had lots of good time together. Recently, I confessed that I do love her! She said she can not change her mind because she doesn't want to have boyfriend now. She only thinks about work, I still remember that she told like this when we first met.

Even I know it but I still tried my best to be with her, do everything for her. I hoped that 1 day she would change her mind, but now I'm very down because her answer to me is negative! I don't know what to do? We work in the same place, and see each other everyday. Can you advise whether I should continue talking to her as normal as a friend or I should stop caring about her.

It's very hard to forget her when I see her everyday like this. She probably angry me because of this! Even I have been expected the negative answer from her so far but I still could not realize the reality.

[tickle]

You should commend her for being honest and telling you srtraight out. I wouldn't push the envelope Kimsang. Keep her as a friend and maybe one of these days things will turn around and she will see you in a new llight.
I know it must be hard working together in the same place. Quite frankly, if I were you, I would just go out on your own, don't ignore her but don't try to spend so much time with her and see how she feels about that.

[Kimsang]

We are friends for almost 1 year. I love her and recently I confessed my love to her but she rejected. I am trying hard to forget her but can not because we are working in 1 team. I see her face everyday, she still talks to me as normal. I don't really talk to her because I want to forget her but my heart still has her image inside. Can you advise what do I have to do to forget her?

[ylaira]

You'll get used to things little by little. Just kill all the hopes left and move on. It will be a challenge because you see her everyday. Just switch your attention into other things.

[talaniman]

advise what do I have to do to forget her?

You may never forget, but you can cope with this by accepting that she is not to be with you, and being proactive in building a life that you enjoy, with people and activities you like to do.

Click the link in my signature, and read the stickies to this forum, they have some great suggestions that work.

[Janmarie]

Working with her daily you won't be able to forget her but since you have to work with her you have to talk to her and not ignore her. You'll have to be civil and be normal as much as possible so you can work successfully together. If you can't and there is a possibility to transfer to working with another team might be the best thing for you. I don't know what it is you do.

She doesn't want a relationship right now because she is focusing on her work. That is normal especially for a woman who wants to succeed in her career. I am not saying that one can't manage both but for her she can't. It is just bad timing right now for you but you have to accept it...it is what it is.

Now you have to take responsibility for your feelings and do what ever is best for you to put it behind you right now.

You have been friends for a year now, your friendship with her should be most important and focus on that instead of a relationship beyond it if you can.

[ka1111]

You have been LJBF'd!

Forget it,ain't going to happen.And by the way,all that "focusing on work" stuff is bs,don't be surprised when you see her with her new boyfriend.

GROW A PAIR