[3facecreations]

I am not sure if this is the right topic to post under but here it goes.
I was having a about of kidney stones I went to the emergency room and was assigned a urologist. I saw him and he set up an appoinment at the hospital to do a procedure to break up the stone (lipotripcy sp? ) and to put in a stent. When I awoke from surgery I found out they didn't break the stone up instead he decided to go up and remove the stone. But he couldn't get the stone and he actually pushed the stone back to the kidney.
When I went to have the stent removed the nurse told me that she would remove it. I explained that because of relegious beliefs that I only wanted the doctor or a male nurse to remove it. The doctor came in and examined me and said he and his nurse would be in to remove the stent. I explained to him also that because of my beliefs I only wanted he or a male nurse to remove it. He said no problem he would do it. So the female nurse took me to a room and told me to lay on a table. I did and then she started to lift my gown. I stopped her and told her that I had already explained all this and that the dr. was going to remove it. She said he was but she had to prep me. I said I would rather have a male nurse do this. She said she had to. I refused and asked if I could just take the stent out myself at home. She said no and that the dr. would not let me leave with the stent in. We discussed this for a good 10 minutes she said that she would lay everything out for the dr and he would do it then. So she left. A few minutes later she and the doctor came back in. I once again expressed my concern. I was told she would stay over to the side. The doctor raised my gown and started then he had the nurse come over to assist him. Afterwards I pushed the gown back down over myself. He told me "not to be a baby" and lifted the gown back up exposing me again and just left it there.
I am so upset. I feel like I have been violated. I feel like my soul has been ripped from me and that my GOD has no more use for me. I just feel dead inside. I don't know what to do. I can't get it out of my mind. Since then when I am driving my mind goes back to that and I have ran two stoplights because I am thinking about it and not paying attentiong to the road. I can't work because I just sit there at the computer and think about that. I wrote an email to the hospital and clinic. They are suppose to "call me back". I just don't know what to do. It is ruining my life. The thought of suicide has even crept into my mind. What do I do?

[progunr]

It may be wrong for me to say this, but I feel you are way over reacting.

Since I don't know, or share the religious beliefs that cause you such misery, I may be out of place in saying that, but I do believe it is an excessive over reaction.

While it may have caused you some discomfort, I seriously doubt that God is going to judge you poorly just because a nurse assisted a doctor in your medical procedure.

Please try to be easier on yourself, our time on this earth is so short the thought that this could destroy your entire life is a rather depressing one.

I am sorry that this has effected you so much and I wish you the best in dealing with it.

[3facecreations]

That is what a couple of people have told me. But my belief is very strong. I have lived it for 45 years and now to have it taken away in a few seconds. I just want to die. I feel like a rape victim and everyone is saying "oh well you should have laid back and enjoyed it" There is nothing enjoyable about RAPE. I have all this anger inside me because of it. I want to hurt someone so bad. But because of my beliefss I can't do that so the only other outlet is to end the pain inside of me somehow.

[3facecreations]

I am not sure if this is the right topic to post under but here it goes.
I was having a about of kidney stones I went to the emergency room and was assigned a urologist. I saw him and he set up an appoinment at the hospital to do a procedure to break up the stone (lipotripcy sp? ) and to put in a stent. When I awoke from surgery I found out they didn't break the stone up instead he decided to go up and remove the stone. But he couldn't get the stone and he actually pushed the stone back to the kidney.
When I went to have the stent removed the nurse told me that she would remove it. I explained that because of relegious beliefs that I only wanted the doctor or a male nurse to remove it. The doctor came in and examined me and said he and his nurse would be in to remove the stent. I explained to him also that because of my beliefs I only wanted he or a male nurse to remove it. He said no problem he would do it. So the female nurse took me to a room and told me to lay on a table. I did and then she started to lift my gown. I stopped her and told her that I had already explained all this and that the dr. was going to remove it. She said he was but she had to prep me. I said I would rather have a male nurse do this. She said she had to. I refused and asked if I could just take the stent out myself at home. She said no and that the dr. would not let me leave with the stent in. We discussed this for a good 10 minutes she said that she would lay everything out for the dr and he would do it then. So she left. A few minutes later she and the doctor came back in. I once again expressed my concern. I was told she would stay over to the side. The doctor raised my gown and started then he had the nurse come over to assist him. Afterwards I pushed the gown back down over myself. He told me "not to be a baby" and lifted the gown back up exposing me again and just left it there.
I am so upset. I feel like I have been violated. I feel like my soul has been ripped from me and that my GOD has no more use for me. I just feel dead inside. I don't know what to do. I can't get it out of my mind. Since then when I am driving my mind goes back to that and I have ran two stoplights because I am thinking about it and not paying attentiong to the road. I can't work because I just sit there at the computer and think about that. I wrote an email to the hospital and clinic. They are suppose to "call me back". I just don't know what to do. It is ruining my life. The thought of suicide has even crept into my mind. What do I do?

[ScottGem]

I don't mean to belittle your religious beliefs, but I believe you are way overreacting here. To contemplate suicide under these circumstances is way over the top.

Most hospitals have a posted Patient Bill of Rights. I would get a copy of that. It should detail that you have the right to have your wishes on care adhered to unless it threatens your life. So your rights were ignored and I believe you have a case of malpractice against the hospital. Consult an attorney!

[3facecreations]

Thank you, I went to the website
Patient & Visitor Center : Patient Rights : AP&S Clinic : Terre Haute : Indiana
this is one of the "rights"
To care which is considerate, respectful and sensitive to your personal values and belief system.

[ScottGem]

Like I said, I believe you have a malpractice action against the doctor and the hospital for not respecting your belief system.

[3facecreations]

Thanks for at least understanding. I want this dr. to know that just because he is jaded and doesn't care , that the patients he is seeing do have feelings and beliefs.

[ScottGem]

Well you can ask the hospital to censure him or file a malpractice suit.

[3facecreations]

Thanks so much scott.

[froggy7]

This is a very tricky situation, in my opinion. The hospital should respect the patient's beliefs, yes. But they also have to not discriminate against their employees. If many of the patients ask for only male doctors, then the hospital will be denying female medical professionals from jobs, based on their gender and not their abilities. Which gets the hospital into trouble of a different sort. So, you might be able to get the doctor censured, for disregarding the patient's beliefs. But this wouldn't fall under medical malpractice (at least not the having a female nurse part... the actual procedure may have been done incorrectly, but that doesn't appear to be the patient's big concern.) This may also be colored by my being female, and thus having to put up with lots of male doctors, despite my personal preferences.

What I don't understand is why the patient put up with this. This is elective surgery (at that point) and he could have requested another doctor, for whatever reasons, until he found one he was comfortable with.

If anyone is interested, here's a description of a similar incident, where the patient refused to be treated by a Muslim doctor, and the ethical perspective on possible ways of handling it.

uExpress.com: On Ethics by Randy Cohen -- (10/07/2007) PATIENT PREJUDICE

[JudyKayTee]

You have posted this twice in 2 different forums - the posts should be combined (if you are asking for legal advice).

If you feel your religious beliefs were violated, then by all means consult with an ATtorney. An Attorney of your same religion would probably be more understanding.

I know from my own experience that the Hospital is allowed to do what it deems necessary and appropriate at the time. This hardly seems like a life and death situation but perhaps accommodating your religious beliefs would have put someone at risk.

Just out of curiosity - are you Muslim? How to you handle hospitalizations and surgeries in general when you have no control over the staff? Or is that a different situation?

I am also concerned that you are so concerned over this that you are driving erratically and considering suicide. Perhaps you should speak to a professional about why you feel this way - I do not know if everything in any religion is all black or all white with nothing in between.

Some years ago - many years ago, in fact - I investigated and did a background on a patient with a similar problem and the defense Attorney spent a lot of time and money checking to see whether the Plaintiff followed ALL the tenents of his faith - interestingly in that case he did not and so that was the end of it. The Plaintiff could not pick the aspects he wanted to follow.

If you do go ahead with a complaint or a lawsuit, would you please check back and let me know how it worked out?

[JudyKayTee]

that is what a couple of people have told me. but my belief is very strong. I have lived it for 45 years and now to have it taken away in a few seconds. I just want to die. I feel like a rape victim and everyone is saying "oh well you should have laid back and enjoyed it" There is nothing enjoyable about RAPE. I have all this anger inside me because of it. I want to hurt someone so bad. but because of my beliefss I can't do that so the only other outlet is to end the pain inside of me somehow.

I answered your other post but if you are considering/threatening suicide here - which appears the case more strongly in your other post, are driving recklessly, want to hurt someone (?) you MUST speak to a professional - a clergyman, a counsellor, a family member.

I am not belittling your faith but posting that you would hurt someone over this but have decided not to because of your beliefs is more than a little frightening and could be constructed as a threat.

While I sympathize and agree with you that perhaps you were treated badly... this is was most definitely not a rape.

[ScottGem]

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