[chrissymarie]

My Fiancé and I have had a threesome before with another woman, a close friend of mine. It was nice we both really enjoyed it. But it was in the beginning of our relationship when we had no emotionmal attachments it was just purely physical.

Well I've been wanting to hae a threesome with another guy but he says it will make him uncomfortable and won't do it. How do I convince him or am I wrong for even trying?

[progunr]

I advise you against it, unless you don't care about your fiance'?

Try doing a search here for "threesomes" and read some of the stories.

I think you will learn a lot from others experiences.

[Synnen]

You don't "convince" anyone to do something they are not comfortable with, especially sexually.

If he's not into it, and you've had open and honest discussions about it, then you're SOL.

There is no "negotiating" or "bargaining" or bringing up your past MFF experience, either. If he says no, then you have to accept that and move on.

[Choux]

Lots of men do not want to have sex with another man!! I suggest you leave him alone. I think he would prefer leaving you than have a threesome with a man and you.

Good luck in 2008,

[Ash123]

This is a tough one. Women "Play" a lot more readily with the same sex. So, a 2 girl threesome is a lot more common.

You are referring to "The Devil's Triangle" - 2 swords and one gal. That is one thing you may need a bisexual or young drunk guy to do... But, if not -

As long as you don't plan to marry the guy, just tell him that there is going to be a well-hung dude arriving with a bottle of wine at about 8. He is going to tap you like a snare drum and if your boyfriend wants to watch, or join in please do. In fact, he can have first shot at you... And if he does it nice, you will get a girl for him...

If this does not work out you can be single and start over.

A compromise... Do verbal fantasies... Talk your wild fantasies out... Would he be OK with that? If so, you may not have to risk as much...

OR go for it... and report how it goes.

[alwaystrue]

The main question is why do you want a threesome and I think before anyone answer they should read all her posting to get a history of her and this guy.

[Synnen]

Ooooh... yeah. Didn't make that connection.

Honey, you need to GROW UP before you start putting yourself in situations like this.

Multiple partners ONLY works either when NO ONE cares about anyone else in the bed, or when the people in the bed have respect, communication, trust and understanding--and you're missing most of those elements in your relationship.

How about just getting a grip on who YOU are, and how to make YOURSELF happy without dragging your boyfriend and some other random guy into it?

[Xrayman]

Chrissy, people are trying to give you a response-no one here judges or hold grudges against anyone, you asked for our opinion-you got it, do you want us to say "Go for it, screw your relationship-because I'm sure your man would LOVE to have sex with another man? " most of us won't do that-we are generally well rounded sensual and sexual people here. But most advice is not about stuffing-up relationships, it's mostly about improving sexual relations and communication.

Your man says "no", back off, stop the whining and stop trying to convince him that he should do it. That's called BAD COMMUNICATION, it makes for BAD SEX.

Please try to accept the answers/opinions, make use or not of them and move on.

Cheers.

[Fr_Chuck]

See this is a double standard, I bet had you asked him to let another women, he would have said great, since he also would have had additional sexual partner, But what he most likely does not want is you with another women.

Or of course he may have grown past the pure seuxal sharing into a deeper relationship.

In the end, most threesomes end up breaking up a long term relationship because one party or the other always gets jealous

[Synnen]

Honey... if you don't like my answers, don't read them.

I have no grudges against anyone.

What I do have, though, is a lack of patience with people who seem intent on doing stupid things for instant gratification and selfish reasons.

Please--really LOOK at what you're doing in your relationship, and WHY you're doing it. Your fiancé wants kids, you don't... so instead of telling him so, you just don't go off birth control. You want to "convince" him to do something sexually he's not into. You have self-esteem issues and suspect him of being a pervert--yet YOU are the one that wants to jump into bed with multiple people at the same time!

I say "grow up" because you are obviously not thinking through the consequences of what you want to do, and you're obviously only thinking about YOU, not your fiancé, not his feelings, and definitely not his preferences on things.

[chrissymarie]

See this is a double standard, I bet had you asked him to let another women, he would have said great, since he also would have had additional sexual partner, But what he most likely does not want is you with another women.

He asked me for a threesome and I agreed. It seemed perfectly fine for him to want to be spoiled sexually by two women. But now that it's my turn he's backing out... at least that's how I feel.

[chrissymarie]

Chrissy, people are trying to give you a response-no one here judges or hold grudges against anyone, you asked for our opinion-you got it, do you want us to say "Go for it, screw your relationship-because I'm sure your man would LOVE to have sex with another man? " most of us wont do that-we are generally well rounded sensual and sexual people here. But most advice is not about stuffing-up relationships, it's mostly about improving sexual relations and communication.

Your man says "no", back off, stop the whining and stop trying to convince him that he should do it. Thats called BAD COMMUNICATION, it makes for BAD SEX.

Please try to accept the answers/opinions, make use or not of them and move on.

cheers.

I feel like if I would have never posted my age I'd be getting different responses. Telling me to GROW UP is kind of rude in my opinion. But your right I'll just ignore certain people.

[Xrayman]

UMM where did I say to GROW UP? Perhaps you need to read a little better before commenting.

Try not to do things you don't like.

What the?? Shouldn't you apply this to your situation?

Oh and by the way, your age has nothing to do with it.

[Synnen]

It's not your age, hon.

It's your attitude.

You still have the "I'm the center of the world" attitude I associate with teenagers and people in their early 20s. I was there once too!

That being said... it's not healthy to have the "I did it for you, now you do it for me" attitude, especially in regards to sex! If he's not comfortable with the idea (and most men aren't) then nothing you can say or do is going to MAKE him comfortable with the idea, and if you keep bringing it up, it may just drive him away.

I've had experiences with threesomes, and have had both really good results from them, and really bad results from them. I actually know what I'm talking about when I say it comes down to trust and communication--if you do not COMPLETELY trust your partner, adding another person to the mix will cause nothing but problems, resulting in the end of the relationship.

You're not even sure he won't hit on his students! How can you believe that the 2 of you have enough trust in each other to do something like this, ESPECIALLY if he's not comfortable with the idea at all?

Most couples can not deal with the fallout from adding other people to their beds. There always ends up being jealousy issues, or trust issues (which you ALREADY have, judging from your previous posts), or basically it ends up disgusting people that their partner could be so "slutty" as to enjoy someone besides themselves.

I would give the Same advice to a man trying to convince his woman to do something SHE wasn't comfortable with, too. And yeah--your age has nothing to do with it. It's your attitude towards your relationship that makes me wonder about your maturity level.

[bushg]

chrissymarie. I think you are being very selfish in this relationship. That's OK as long as your honest about it. But from some of your other post I see that you are lying to him and telling him you want the same things that he does. He is being honest with you and you are not doing the same with him and now you are on here trying to get strangers to help you figure out how to get laid by 2 men one of which is not willing.

I think you need to take a close look and see what you really want from this man. Is it a relationship or are you just letting him take care of you and blowing smoke up his rear until your done using him.
Or could it be that you are so insecure and afraid to stand on your own that you are willing to lead him on so that he'll be there for you. Either way you need to get honest or it will never work, sooner or later he is going to find out the truth.

[Alty]

If you want a threesome with two men then find two men that are willing and let your fiancé find someone who actually cares about him.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2786878,
After reading your other posts I can tell your curious, and want to experiment. With the problems you have with your b/f its no wonder as you come of age you are curious. You can't change his mind, nor should you expect to, so your options are to go along with his program, or write your own without him. Be careful whatever way you go.

[kp2171]

chrissymarie disagrees: I think you have a grudge agauinst me or something so there is no need for you to ever respond to any of my questions ever again.

I've spent a lot of time trying to help in her threads.

But this above disagree is the end for me. No more wasting my time.

You are very good at being upset at others. You are a pro at wanting to change your fiancée.

Good luck with your messes. Someday you will learn to stop stepping in crap. Maybe you'll even learn to listen when people tell you that you are about to step in crap. Hopefully it won't be after a failed marriage and years of wondering "what keeps going wrong"...

Disagree with me all you want. It won't matter. I just added your name to my "ignore" list.

[talaniman]

He asked me for a threesome and I agreed. it seemed perfectly fine for him to want to be spoiled sexually by two women. but now that it's my turn he's backing out... atleast thats how I feel.

So what does that say about your man?

[Apocryphy]

My Fiance and I have had a threesome before with another woman, a close friend of mine. It was nice we both really enjoyed it. But it was in the beggining of our relationship when we had no emotionmal attachments it was just purely physical.

Well I've been wanting to hae a threesome with another guy but he says it will make him uncomfortable and wont do it. How do I convince him or am I wrong for even trying?

If you push him into something you will regret it. Swinging, threesomes, orgies, all require that both partners are understood in the boundaries set by each partner. Talk, discuss, mull over, and give it time. Also he was OK with the first time cause it was a woman, and he did not feel in compitition. Men are more wary to see their spouse with another man than with another woman. If he is OK with that then try to do that for now then maybe the next time go for a couple who swing. You and he will both be occupied and so not to worry so much over whether or not if the guy pleases you more than him. Wait, the first threesome did you allow him to have sex with the other woman? Great communication is a must!