[NewDaddy1]

Hi my name is Robert and I just found out that I was a father. I have wanted to be a father my entire life. Now my son, Damian, is 22 Months and I want to be the best Daddy in the world. I just have a few questions to ask and I would like to know if I could have some feedback answers...

1. How can I introduce myself as his father after almost 2 years?
2. How do I help him in his growing years?
3. Am I wrong for showing him too much affection? ( ex. Picking him him up, holding him, giving him what he want )
4.not really a question, If any fathers are reading this please give me some tips and pointers.

Hopefully, Ill get a few comments and feedbacks. Thank you very much for your time.

Thank you,
R.J.C

[inthebox]

Congratulations!


1] I don't know.. I have adopted, so perhaps having the child's mother introduce you might help.

2] Be involved, physically [ prescence, as opposed to being at work all the time ], spiritually, financially, emotionally, when he is in school or in activities etc.
Teach him right and wrong.
Love him unconditionally.
Teach him to respect himself, and others, especially women.
Play and laugh with him.
Be patient and even tempered... he follows your example.

3] Too much affection - no way. Spoiling him is another thing.

[Greg Quinn]

You missed a lot of the great stuff, but this is the age where it all really starts to matter.
1. You introduce yourself as routine as possible, try to do fun things and do them repeatedly. Like Mcdonalds playpark, or other common interests you may have.
2. Just be there and it should come to you.
3. Ya, I understand its probably surreal and hard to emotionally adjust. Hugs and kisses will come, it may not hurt to push yourself a little.
4. When I was younger I thought there was no meaning to life, now my daughter is just that. She's three, and this last year has been amazing because she communicates at such a high level now. Today she told me to relax. LOL
How did this new fathership come about?

[Clough]

Greetings and WELCOME to the site, Robert, and congratulations on being a dad!

I did just move your question out of Introductions to a more appropriate topic area so that it will get noticed more. Introductions is where people introduce themselves only, and we try not to ask questions there.

I am curious as to what your relationship/situation is at the present with the child's mother, if you wouldn't mind sharing that. It might help people here to answer you the best, if they were to know how things are.

Thanks!

[Clough]

...She's three, and this last year has been amazing because she communicates at such a high level now. Today she told me to relax. LOL...

LOL! That's funny! :D

[450donn]

First I too would like to know more about your relationship with the mother? Because this will play a big role in how much of a role you will have in the babies life. Hopefully you two can work out what ever differences you had. I think at 22 months he is way too young to realize that you are daddy or just some man. So don't let that hang you up. Being there, playing with and loving him are his biggest concerns in life right now. That and a loving adult, whether it be mom, dad or a day care provider, to him they are all the same. Someone to provide for his needs. You on the other hand need to get your life and priorities in order to establish a long term bonding with him so that even if you and mom cannot reconcile that you will both provide a mature loving atmosphere in which he can grow up.

[ScottGem]

I agree with donn, before I can answer these question, especially the first one, I would need to understand the whole family dynamics here. What was and is your relationship to the mother? Is there another father figure involved. Why did you just find out about it?

[ZigZag07]

I don't think you can ever be TO INVOLVED! Really...
That's GREAT that your getting invloved now... better than never
Don't try to hard or anything...
Be a good friend/awsome parent
That's what kids look for... no matter what age...

[smearcase]

I am not a religious fanatic but find a good Sunday School as early as possible.

Good moral education is just as important as reading, ritin and rithmatic.

If you raise a successful person with your parenting skills, friendship will come naturally but friendship should not be your goal.

[ScottGem]

I am not a religious fanatic but find a good Sunday School as early as possible.

Good moral education is just as important as readin, ritin and rithmatic.

First at 22 months it's a little early for Sunday School. Second, who says a Sunday School has a monopoly on moral education or is even necessary for one. And who said anything about friendship?

[ScottGem]

450donn disagrees: true that morals can be tought but rarely are by parents. When he was trying to point out was the moral aspect of life and how important it is.

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

But I strongly disagree with you that parents rarely teach moral values. In faact its just the opposite, Children learn their morals primarily from their parents. Even the act of enrolling a child in Sunday School is an act of teaching moral behavior.

I am a strong proponent of teaching morality, but I took exception to the advice posted here for two reasons. First, because there are many ways of teaching morality, Sunday School is only one possibility. And its clear that he doesn't live with the mother, so the mother also has a say in such thing. Second the OP did not ask or mention anything about teaching morality. He was asking more about parenting.

Therefore, I felt the need to counter smearcase's comments. Since his comments were opinion it was inappropriate to use a negative comment so I didn't. It was also inappropriate for you to use a negative comment against my post for the same reasons.

[Greg Quinn]

450donn disagrees: true that morals can be tought but rarely are by parents. When he was trying to point out was the moral aspect of life and how important it is.

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

But I strongly disagree with you that parents rarely teach moral values. In faact its just the opposite, Children learn their morals primarily from their parents. Even the act of enrolling a child in Sunday School is an act of teaching moral behavior.

I am a strong proponent of teaching morality, but I took exception to the advice posted here for two reasons. First, because there are many ways of teaching morality, Sunday School is only one possibility. And its clear that he doesn't live with the mother, so the mother also has a say in such thing. Second the OP did not ask or mention anything about teaching morality. He was asking more about parenting.

Therefore, I felt the need to counter smearcase's comments. Since his comments were opinion it was inappropriate to use a negative comment so I didn't. It was also inappropriate for you to use a negative comment against my post for the same reasons.

-----------------
I would hope someone gives you a balancer.
I agree with everything you said here.

[inthebox]

I knew it. :)

That is why I worded it right and wrong. Is not that morality?
What decent parent does not teach their child / children right and wrong?
But throw religion in there and watch things combust. :D


Regardless children learn by the example you set. Walk the talk.

[talaniman]

I knew it. :)

That is why I worded it right and wrong. Is not that morality?
What decent parent does not teach their child / children right and wrong?
But throw religion in there and watch things combust. :D


Regardless children learn by the example you set. Walk the talk.

Wish I could give you another greenie.

[talaniman]

1. How can I introduce myself as his father after almost 2 years?
Slowly and with moms help.
2. How do I help him in his growing years?
By being there and giving him plenty of love support, and guidance, and discipline, not corporally either.
3. Am I wrong for showing him too much affection? ( ex. Picking him him up, holding him, giving him what he want )
As he gets older there will be time to teach him right and wrong on a level he can understand. No way, can you help but pick the little feller up, the more affection the better.
4.not really a question, If any fathers are reading this please give me some tips and pointers.
Be consistent with your time, and control your anger, and above all pay attention closely, and never be to busy for any of his needs. Never under estimate what they can understand, and never assume they should know better.

Watch what you say, and do around them, as they love to imitate what they see, and hear.
Curious as to the exact nature of this family dynamic though, as it seems you don't live with your son.