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alisonjames · May 12, 2008, 03:16 PM

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brian1231 · May 12, 2008, 04:07 PM

Give details

nickshehe · May 12, 2008, 05:12 PM

To expand on what brian rightly said.
How did you break up - who decided to call it quits? How long ago? How long ago were you going out? e.t.c
It would help

nickshehe · May 14, 2008, 04:41 AM

I usually try and follow the rule where once a relationship is in ruins - leave it there..
Of course we're all humans and we let our emotions get the best of us and I was in a rollercoaster relationship a few years back where all we did was break up and get together..
I understand you still have a soft spot for him but I don't think he was justified in leaving you the way he did. Drug issues are no excuse. He could have talked to you about it if he authentically cared about you. It's not like all of a sudden he's a good samaritan and he doesn't want to drag you into his own problems - so he broke up with you for your own good- what BS.
I'm not saying he doesn't want to be with you now or whatever - but if he said he hasn't been with anyone after you - it could be true, and it could justify why he came back...
Because he expected things would be different without you - they weren't - he couldn't find anyone, and like a hungry cat he came back..
I personally wouldn't have it in me to turn my back to a person in that sense, I wouldn't hold a grudge for 8 months - I would continue being civil but I wouldn't take him back..
I suggest you make your intentions with him clear, that you want to remain friends for the sake of your history..
That's my two cents - hope it helps.

SJB1701E · May 14, 2008, 06:01 AM

I would say, be direct with him. If you don't see any possibility of starting a new relationship with him and aren't emotionally comfortable talking to him, then cut him off. If you desire to start a new relationship with him, be direct about your feelings and desires. I believe in second chances, just not third, fourth, fifth, etc chances. Sometimes things happen and we handle it badly. If its what you and he want, starting over is possible. It is a lot of hard work though. It takes commitment and desire of both people to repair things. It takes mutual trust of yourselves and each other. That requires mutual honesty. It also requires mutual forgiveness of both yourselves and each other. You have to let go of anger and forgive mistakes. Learn from them, but forgive. Ask yourself what you want and if you decide you want to pursue this, be prepared for a hard and emotionally trying road which could end in disaster or happiness. If its what you want, the only way you will know if he feels the same is to be direct and ask him. If you both want the same thing, take it slow and be prepared for the work. If he doesn't want the same thing, don't settle for a friendship which will cause you more emotional pain. I am currently going through starting over with my girlfriend and it's a very hard but rewarding path.

amIwrong · May 14, 2008, 06:04 AM

"a past is a pretty good indicator of the future" if he dealt with it more respectfully then maybe I would have considered it, but it sounds like he was fairly mean about it. His intentions are questionable and likely to create mistrust now that he wants to get back in the game.

Originally Posted by alisonjames

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thegreatestviz · May 14, 2008, 06:20 AM

He either knows that you like him so he might be trying to instigate feelings for him in you

Or

Maybe he is looking for a second chance

Eitherways he wants you back
The more you talk to him the more he'll try to get closer

Advice->stay away.act civil.behave uncaring
Other suggestions->relationship is over don't start it again because if it breaks later its going to hurt even more

panteraja · May 14, 2008, 06:45 AM

A very good and appropriate answer

talaniman · May 14, 2008, 10:27 AM

He asked for a break about 8 months ago then dumped me saying he needed space and time to himself, I was stupid then thinking that the more I told him I loved him and cared, it would solve things. His reaction to everything was just really bad, literally told me to go away and that we should never talk, after I realized he wasn't interested I let him be

You've done the right thing by accepting this break up, and trying to move on. Now its time to continue to put yourself firs,t over whatever it is that he wants. Be direct and tell him to fc'k off, and leave you alone, so you don't have to go through the confusion, and drama, with him any more. If you need incentive, remember the humiliation of begging for him back, and his reaction. It comes down to you getting healthy, and happy with yourself, and you don't need him for that.