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    johnjc's Avatar
    johnjc Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 11, 2008, 04:07 PM
    Can't Keep An Erection
    I'm 19 and can't seem to keep an erection on a consistent basis. I am very heathly and always had amazing performance in bed until the last year or so. Even when I masturbate I can't seem to get it has hard as I used to.

    Any help is greatly appriciated
    Thank you
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    May 11, 2008, 06:23 PM
    On any medication, any added stress in your life the last year. And with that have you had a complete check up by your doctor as to possible problems with this.
    Xrayman's Avatar
    Xrayman Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 193
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    #3

    May 11, 2008, 07:55 PM
    Its normal
    johnjc's Avatar
    johnjc Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 12, 2008, 10:28 AM
    How is that normal? I would rather not take any pharmacuetical drugs. Is there any more natural alterantive? Has anyone heard of that maca plant or maybe changing my diet.

    I am not on any medication and no real stress problems in the last year.

    I have a girlfriend and we love having sex but this has been an issue before.

    Thank you for the replies
    booboobear's Avatar
    booboobear Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 12, 2008, 10:56 AM
    Hmmm interesting well I would say to get with your girlfriend and play a little before having intercourse. If you pleasure her or do a little 69 think about only her body and nothing of your problem. Maybe the fact that in your mnd its possible it not lasting long because your thinkning about it. So I would say have a nice of play do kinky things and damn if it don't help then I would suggest you have a physical and let your doctor know what's going on... sorry I tried lol
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    May 12, 2008, 01:21 PM
    What has changed lately?
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #7

    May 12, 2008, 03:00 PM
    I think you probably know what triggered this about of impotence but don't want to think about it too much. :)

    What do you think the reason is?

    Are you getting pressure from your girlfriend for some reason, like getting married?
    Are you a frequent viewer of porn?
    Do you find that regular sexual contact isn't very exciting, want to up the ante?
    Thinking homosexual thoughts?
    Something else altogether?

    What's distracting you? :)
    Xrayman's Avatar
    Xrayman Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 193
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    #8

    May 12, 2008, 03:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by johnjc
    how is that normal? I would rather not take any pharmacuetical drugs. is there any more natural alterantive? has anyone heard of that maca plant or maybe changing my diet.

    i am not on any medication and no real stress problems in the last year.

    i have a girlfriend and we love having sex but this has been an issue before.

    thank you for the replies

    I'm sorry but I have to respond-WHY is it that sooo many people think the answer is in the form of a pill or cream etc. etc. I said it is normal-the stiffness changes over time, the wetness(of a vagina) changes over time, hormonal/physical/mental changes day to day- why does there have to be a cut and dried answer to some problems?

    Sometimes we/scientists/clergy don't know why YOU have a soft penis... only YOU can answer that as you have all the information in your head..
    It's called life, people.
    johnjc's Avatar
    johnjc Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    May 12, 2008, 11:33 PM
    I always to a lot of foreplay before I have sex to build up the tension and it makes things a lot more fun, but that doesn't seem to work. I gets hard just not all the way.

    Nothing has really changed recently, no homosexual thoughts, no stress, I do look at porn and have tried not looking at it for awhile but it didn't help.

    I wasn't looking for the answer in the form of a pill or cream. I simply asked people the would know more about this subject than me.

    I don't even get erections through out the day or in the morning like I used to quite frequently.

    Once again thank you for everybodies input. It is greatly appriciated.
    Mystillate's Avatar
    Mystillate Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    May 13, 2008, 12:03 AM
    You might want to have the doctor check your thyroid. I had this problem and finally figured out that my immune system was attacking my thyroid gland.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    May 13, 2008, 05:19 AM
    A check up wouldn't hurt, and would be a wise move at this point, just to eliminate any unknown medical problems.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #12

    May 13, 2008, 07:56 PM
    You have to go to your physician immediately. There is no reason to linger in unhappiness for another day.

    He/she could find an answer for you. :)

    Make that call!
    GUYBRUSH's Avatar
    GUYBRUSH Posts: 10, Reputation: -3
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    #13

    May 16, 2008, 01:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by johnjc
    im 19 and can't seem to keep an erection on a consistant basis. i am very heathly and always had amazing performance in bed until the last year or so. even when i masturbate i can't seem to get it has hard as i used to.

    any help is greatly appriciated
    thank you
    One time I took dxm Dextromethorphan aka cough suppressant I had the same problem for about a week that's why I stop takeing it good luck medical cannabis might help.
    Apocryphy's Avatar
    Apocryphy Posts: 13, Reputation: 2
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    #14

    May 21, 2008, 11:37 AM
    It is normal and you need to consider that there are still changes going on, although you are about at the time where any more growth testosterone, etc. If you are still exsperiencing this problem a year from now you might want to see a DR. Till then don't worry too much over it cause most likely that is the cause, worry. Try to not focus so much on your erection and rely more on foreplay. Sex is not just about intercourse, think of eating a five course meal, and just have fun with it. ;-)
    GUYBRUSH's Avatar
    GUYBRUSH Posts: 10, Reputation: -3
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    #15

    May 30, 2008, 11:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by GUYBRUSH
    one time i took dxm Dextromethorphan aka cough suppressant i had the same problem for about a week that's why i stop takeing it good luck medical cannabis might help.


    Hea it worked for me like 20 time's a night weed work's. I know FIRST HAND'S EXPIRINCE'S. ITS LIKE A WORK OUT.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #16

    May 31, 2008, 07:24 AM
    Going to ramble here, as I usually do, and ask a lot of questions.

    First, while it can happen, to tell a 19 year old its "normal" is at best using soft gloves. It isn't normal at this age. It happens, but it isn't the status quo. I think the issue I and others have with a two word answer to this post is that it deserves more than a cursory, passing "accept it"... he might have to, true, but there's a lot of ground to cover between here and throwing your hands in the air.

    As stated talk to your doctor. Don't fret about talking to a doctor about this. They didn't go though years of training to hope people hid their concerns. It'll be a process. Lots of things can play into this.

    Are you drinking a lot? Have you ever drank a lot for periods at a time? Are you exercising? Any family issues with vascular health? Taking a good multivitamin?

    I know you said you are healthy and seem happy. When a person starts to experience issues with less than desirable performance the etiology can be multifaced. It can be a number of little things compounded until it passes a threshold, or it can come from a more singular source.

    For ex, as mentioned, depression or poor mental health alone can kill function. Meds can. etc... but what about several little things... a lack of exercise, getting poor sleep, insufficient nutrition, small changes in vascular health (which can be tied to genetics and/or the other issues already stated), and anxiety about performance can all add up in bits and pieces.

    Id try to back off the porn and limit masturbation. Some can use this with no decrease in performance. If you are having issues achieving and maintaining a quality erection, it might be worth dropping the self stim and visual satisfaction to get a little pent up. Redirect your energy into your bedroom with your partner.

    Any anxiety about her getting pregnant? Is she using, or are you using birth control? Are you comfortable in your environment where you are having sex... meaning you aren't always trying to sneak sex in without getting caught, you can take the time you need comfortably. Mentally you aren't rushed or stressed?

    You state you've always needed a lot of foreplay to get amped, right? Did I read that right? That can tie into the mental side and the ability of your mind to drive your physical side.

    As choux stated, issues such as conflicts with sexual identity can come into play. Common issues like desensitization from exposure to sex/porn can come into play. Lets face it, when I was 16 the slightest peek at a girls bra strap or panty could instantly give a steel piercing hard on... years later, it might create a response... quickened pulse, increased arousal mentally, even some erection... but it isn't the same. Yes, this might be part of the "its normal" factor stated earlier... most people experience some level of desensitization. Compound it with other things and maybe it's a problem.

    Young men with ED issues often respond well to talking to a counselor who specializes in this area. If going to a therapist sounds like a pain in the arse, try to get over that gut check reaction. If you talk to your doctor, run through your checklist of physical issues that could be at play, run through the lifestyle issues that you can address, and there's still no improvement, its time to talk to a therapist before you just say you'll pop an expensive pill.

    Having gone to a therapist for depression some time back, I can tell you I HATED making the appointment, hated waiting in the lobby, blah blah blah... I walked out better first time. Not fixed. Still had to talk things out more, but I honestly walked out better... and its something to consider. I tend to try to fix everything on my own. Talking to a counselor, one who specializes in sexual health, is simply about getting you tools and knowledge faster then you can get them yourself with reading and education. Its just a crash course suited to you. Something to think about. Again, young men with otherwise healthy bodies who are having issues with erection often respond well to this.

    That you need a lot of foreplay isn't a bad thing, but it can point to a delayed physical response... the mental side is your biggest, most important errogenous zone... simple or complex issues can make your physical response weakened.

    Don't be too frustrated. You will experience, most likely, some changes over time. Some experience it earlier, some barely at all after decades. Just as a woman who is experiencing issues attaining orgasm shouldn't just buy a vibe and be done with it (thats not a slam on using vibes, my partner has a little, cute, pink one)... she should educate herself about the mental and physical issues at hand, a man should do the same when performance isn't what you want it to be.

    So time to educate yourself and take some action. In the end, even if things aren't where you want it to be, you'll have better knowledge of your body and you will be in a more powerful place personally.
    Andrew78's Avatar
    Andrew78 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Jun 17, 2008, 06:52 PM
    Maybe this article can help Say Goodbye To Premature Ejaculation
    shanek1979's Avatar
    shanek1979 Posts: 15, Reputation: 0
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    #18

    Jul 1, 2008, 10:12 AM
    I wouldn't bother with the article on the link above. Anyone giving medical advice and using the word commoner instead of "more common" is immediately suspicious in my opinion :)

    Also the "squeeze technique" is NOT recommended by doctors! They may however suggest the stop/ start technique.

    Its pretty simple starting with foreplay, and stop when you are about to climax. Wait, for at least a couple of minutes. Obviously during this time, pleasure your girlfriend or she may get bored :)

    Don't worry if you lose your erection at this point, but when your in control stat again, and stop before you climax. You want to keep doing this for at least 15- 20 minutes a day.

    As I said, between the stop/ start you may soften a bit, don't worry. The end purpose is to train your mind to not "want to climax prematurely". We often forget that the male subconscious WANTS us to ejaculate a.s.a.p. We never used to procreate for fun, look at animals in the wild, the only objective is to impregnate.

    A few other points, a lot of it may be in your head so relax, trust your girlfriend when she says she wants to work through this with you,take your time and make the effort and it will help.

    Having said all of that, I would certainly go to the doctors. Ignore the advice that you may be still developing or it may be natural etc. yes it might, but then again it might not. A doctor is there to go to before we have problems as well as during. They will certainly be able to help, even just to talk to, and don't be shy, they really do hear this sort of thing at least twice a week for a lot of doctors. 1- 10 men apparently suffer from it.

    Good luck I sure you will be OK.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
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    #19

    Jul 1, 2008, 11:21 AM
    Are you sure there isn't a issue with depression or stress?

    It might be a good idea to get an appointment with your physician. And discuss this with him. It's possible it's a symptom for another undiagnossed problem that you don't want to ignore.

    There is a multitude of reasons this may happen. I do assume this is not a one time performance issue and has been occurring for a while.

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