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    piff's Avatar
    piff Posts: 3, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    May 11, 2008, 03:47 PM
    Not told before marriage
    My wife has herpies and she did not tell me until after we were married I want out what are my rights we have been married for 16 years with 2 kids. Had I know I would have never married her. I thought that I could just deal with it but I feel like I have been robbed and held hostage. All I want is out without having to give her half of my retirement or anything else. I know that I have to take care of my kids and that's not a problem I don't need to pay child support either to take care of my kids I have a son & daughter what are my rights in this matter. Son is 15 daughter 11.
    Thank You
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    May 11, 2008, 04:16 PM
    Sorry, you have to pay, and she gets half of everything.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #3

    May 11, 2008, 04:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by piss off
    My wife has herpies and she did not tell me until after we were married i want out what are my rights we have been married for 16 years with 2 kids. Had i know i would have never married her. I thought that i could just deal with it but i feel like i have been robbed and held hostage. All i want is out without having to give her half of my retirement or anything else. I know that i have to take care of my kids and thats not a problem i don't need to pay child support either to take care of my kids i have a son & daughter what are my rights in this matter. Son is 15 daughter 11.
    Thank You


    This happened 16 years ago and now, after 2 kids, all you want to is "out" without having to give her half?

    You don't need to pay child support to take care of your kids?

    What are your rights? You have none.
    lawanwadee's Avatar
    lawanwadee Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 124
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    #4

    May 11, 2008, 05:17 PM
    If you were not told before marriage, you have the right to file for annulment, but not after 16 years.

    Right now, she is entitled for what the law says it's HERS.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    May 11, 2008, 05:45 PM
    I am sorry you have been with her for 16 years that means you either also have it, or you have used proper protection. And if couples love each other illness does not matter.

    As to other issues, sorry no, you will give her the proper share, and you will be paying child support ( as long as the children are yours) in fact a father who thinks they should not pay, I hope they have to pay double, since they are not being fair to their kids.

    So now that no one believed this as your excuse why do you really want a divorce?
    piff's Avatar
    piff Posts: 3, Reputation: 3
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    #6

    May 11, 2008, 07:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    I am sorry you have been with her for 16 years that means you either also have it, or you have used proper protection. And if couples love each other illness does not matter.

    As to other issues, sorry no, you will give her the proper share, and you will be paying child support ( as long as the children are yours) in fact a father who thinks they should not pay, I hope they have to pay double, since they are not being fair to thier kids.

    So now that no one believed this as your excuse why do you really want a divorce ??
    Ok so there's nothing I can do what I meant by not paying child support is that I am a very good father and my kids would be taken care of very well but I don't need anyone taking money off me to take care of my children they come first in my life but no one should be taken advantage of in that manner regardless of the law there would have been no marriage had I known.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #7

    May 11, 2008, 07:45 PM
    Why after sixteen years. Does not make sense to me?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    May 11, 2008, 07:52 PM
    No she could not have hid it for 16 years, if she just got it, it is something new, if not he would have know shortly after they were married.
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
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    #9

    May 11, 2008, 09:16 PM
    Wait a second….you found this our right after you married her, 16 years ago?

    Then you should have left her then…not stuck around for 16 years and had not one, byt two children.

    Sorry dude, you have lost that argument.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    May 12, 2008, 05:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by piss off
    Ok so theres nothing i can do what i ment by not paying child support is that i am a very good father and my kids would be taken care of very well but i don't need anyone taking money off of me to take care of my children they come first in my life but no one should be taken advantage of in that manner reguardless of the law there would have been no marraige had i known.

    The Courts care little about your intentions - that's why there are child support orders. Keeps everyone on the straight and narrow.

    Just out of curiosity - when did you find out your wife has genital herpes and why did you have two children (exposed during the birth process) with her - ? Do you have it? The Internet indicates 45 million people do.

    And why now do you want out - why not after 1 year or 2 or 3 or 5?
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #11

    May 12, 2008, 01:54 PM
    Hello p:

    Doncha just hate it when that happens? I had a girl once tried to blame me for giving her the dreaded herpes... I knew I didn't have it so I figured out what was going on. I threw her to curb and fast... Thank goodness I have a strong constitution and didn't catch anything...

    So, you didn't throw her to the curb when you found out, huh? You should have, cause now it doesn't matter a bit. The law has a thing called "estoppel". It means that if you didn't do something when you found out something, you ACCEPT the something. Bummer. It don't make no never mind now.

    I know you'll take care of your kids, but the courts want to see a specific amount set up. If you pay it voluntarily, they won't take it from your paycheck. But if she misses a payment and makes a complaint (and you know she will), they'll garnish it...

    excon
    piff's Avatar
    piff Posts: 3, Reputation: 3
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    #12

    May 12, 2008, 07:09 PM
    I stayed with her because I didn't want to loose out on raising my first child I never knew my dad growing up and there's no way I would let that happen to my children. The 2nd was not wanted by me but as a man you have no say when it comes to something like that. I didn't know what to do or what my options were when that happen . I found out right before my first child was born (2 weeks before). I thought that I could deal with the situation but as time goes on I think off how wrong that was of her to steal someone's life as a person there's no way I could do something like that to someone. I beleave in taking care of my responsiblitys but no matter what anyone says this is not right what she has done. I will leave her eventually when my kids are 18 years old. Can't afford child support 1900 a month too much maybe more . Over kill does not take that much from me to take care of 2 kids. She does have a job also. Women love this extra money to do everything else but use it for the kids.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    May 12, 2008, 07:16 PM
    You have issues that can be worked out, and shouldn't of been allowed to fester this long.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #14

    May 12, 2008, 07:26 PM
    I honestly think your looking for excuses to get out of the marriage no matter what it is. If you truly wanted out you would not have waited this long. You knew about everything and continued to be there. So the past is the past right? You have two healthy children, right?

    Oh and to be quite honest. Many people are carriers and do not find out until later on. Do you get what I am trying to say here. You made the choice to stay with her. Your trying to put all the blame on her, which is not the case here.
    GRITS's Avatar
    GRITS Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #15

    May 14, 2008, 02:11 PM
    Ok none of this makes sense to me. If you stayed with her after the birth of your 1st child and then later had unprotected intercourse with her in order to have second child you must just be looking for a way out of the marriage. You don't stick by someone for 16 years, father two children with her and not care at all about her. You need to come to terms as to WHY you REALLY want out of the marriage, then go talk to an attorney. Oh yeah, make sure you keep the "other" person out of the picture until the divorce is final. By "other" I mean you expect us to believe that there is no one else pushing you to end your 16 year marriage. OK:rolleyes:
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #16

    May 14, 2008, 05:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by GRITS
    Ok none of this makes sense to me. If you stayed with her after the birth of your 1st child and then later had unprotected intercourse with her in order to have second child you must just be looking for a way out of the marriage. You don't stick by someone for 16 years, father two children with her and not care at all about her. You need to come to terms as to WHY you REALLY want out of the marriage, then go talk to an attorney. Oh yeah, make sure you keep the "other" person out of the picture until the divorce is final. By "other" I mean you expect us to believe that there is no one else pushing you to end your 16 year marriage. OK:rolleyes:

    And feeling the way he does if I believe him he had one child and found out his wife had herpes. He then had unprotected sex and had a second child, exposing that child to herpes during the birthing process.

    I don't know that I would assume anyone is pushing him to end this marriage but I do think something is going on.

    (If there is a "someone else" wonder if he's been tested?)
    want_to_know's Avatar
    want_to_know Posts: 48, Reputation: 2
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    #17

    May 20, 2008, 05:12 PM
    Don't believe the reason your leaving!! If you said 15 years ago 14 years ago 13 years ago you wanted to leave and you tried to live with it but could not, OK. But, come on 16 years later and it constantly on your mind daily and now, I mean now you want to leave please tell me who is the other woman?? Feeling betrayed 16 years later unreal? And after 16 I would think you have it too, I'm sure for 16years you didn't use condoms! Obviously not child #2 came along So my question is if you both have it why leave now?

    Pay the child support!! If there is no other woman ask yourself why you are really leaving.

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